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James Weir recaps The Bachelor 2018 episode 5

BACHELOR contestant Cass confronted Nick with a simple demand. His brutally honest reply is the rejection she never predicted.

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A VICIOUS catfight has erupted in The Bachelor mansion after one girl’s secret mission to white-ant another out of the competition is exposed.

“You have no class! Don’t f**k with me!” are the words that are spat across the mansion’s plush lounge room in the ugly screaming match.

At the centre of the clash is its subject, Cass, who becomes so overwhelmed by what transpires she confronts Nick with a simple demand. And his brutally honest reply is the rejection she never predicted.

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In the early moments of Wednesday’s episode, a private date with Sophie is the boring, not-worth-talking-about calm before the storm. In a panic to create interest, producers hijack an Uber with some of Nick’s family in it and reroute them to the mansion.

As they stumble out of the Hyundai trying to make sense of their surrounds, Cass recognises them from her charts.

“I’ve met his brother before,” she whispers to no one in particular before giving more vague details about her history with Nick.

“We may or may not have been on a date. And we did get to know each other pretty well,” she shyly recalls before rambling off.

“We got off … I don’t know, I’m sorry I’m just fully flustered.”

Nick’s brother Jacob is the first of the Cummins family to spot Cass. And he confides in us that she has indeed made an appearance in his brother’s life. Still, the details remain questionable.

It was one summer ago on the Gold Coast, he says, and Cass lurked on a beach applying coconut suntan lotion until the Cummins brothers let her surf with them. I’m paraphrasing what he said but that’s pretty accurate.

Jacob looks less than impressed when recounting the details.

Jacob’s witness statement.
Jacob’s witness statement.

Nick’s no-nonsense sister is given the task of assessing the girls. One by one, they stream into the courtyard and chat with her on a bench. She’s shocked and confused at the grim prospects.

Srsly?
Srsly?

When it comes time for Romy’s turn with Bernadette, she hatches a plan. She’s had enough of Cass’ gushy claims of hidden romance with Nick, and is determined to white-ant her out of the competition.

“Nick actually knows Cass from before. And I think she was already in love with him coming into this competition. Age certainly comes into it a little bit as well. She’s 23 and a very young 23,” Romy, dressed in a baby pink cap and pigtails, snipes. She hopes word will filter through Bernadette back to Nick and end with Cass’s elimination.

But Bernadette isn’t an idiot. She doesn’t care for Romy’s attitude or her pigtails and asks if there’s a possibility Cass could be a good match for Nick.

Gurl pls.
Gurl pls.

“I feel like she’s desperate. And I think that’s the emotional immaturity. It’s hard to watch to be honest,” Romy concludes.

She’s satisfied with the outcome of her mission. But what she doesn’t realise is there’s a window right behind her. And on the other side of that window is a bedroom. Conveniently, Blair’s inside. She hears everything.

It’s precious intel. If repeated, it could cause chaos and tears in the mansion. Blair does what any noble, mature adult would do: She finds Cass, drags her into a cabana with a bunch of other girls, and retells her all the bitchy things Romy said.

Quickly realising she has been busted, Romy drags the mean girls into a separate cabana on the other side of the grounds and bitches about Blair over bread sticks and beer.

Romy bitching in a cabana while eating a bread stick and drinking beer is a total mood.
Romy bitching in a cabana while eating a bread stick and drinking beer is a total mood.

But of course, you can’t hide in a cabana eating bread sticks forever. And Romy and Blair eventually come face-to-face in the mansion where they proceed to scream over each other.

Romy accuses Blair of skulking inside the bedroom with the sole purpose of eavesdropping while Blair insists she was only in the bedroom to act out a wardrobe montage of her best outfits.

The denial only enrages Romy.

“You have no class! And this angers me. Don’t f**k with me,” she glares at Blair. “Don’t ever put words in my mouth again!”

The feuding girls drag Cass into it. She’s scared but also secretly thrilled to be involved.

“We shouldn’t talk about each other behind each other’s backs,” she whispers.

Romy believes she has a foolproof defence.

“It’s not behind each other’s backs if you’re asked a question and you answer it truthfully,” she explains knowingly. In courts around Australia, this will now be known as Romy’s Law.

It’s a tricky situation for Cass. On one hand, Blair stood up for her. But on the other, she wants Romy and the other means girls to like her and invite her to parties.

She sides with Romy and says her defence makes complete sense.

Not done with Blair, Romy lashes out again.

“You’ve got nothing to do with it! Mind your own business!” she spits, lurching up from the loungeroom floor.

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While this mess unfolds, Brooke has been chosen to have dinner with Nick’s family and the only interesting thing about it is this wine glass Thermos with a sippy lid.

Genius.
Genius.

It looks like some kind of Shark Tank invention and we immediately start googling where to get one because it would make drinking alone in bed much easier.

Back at the mansion, all the drama has injected Cass with confidence. She’s put her hair up in a messy ponytail and she’s determined to approach Nick.

Tonight, she has a clear mission: to get him to confirm he has feelings for her. But her nudging only pushes him away. And he’s forced to brutally let her down.

“I think maybe you’re expressing it at a level (up) here … And I can’t … I’m down here,” he says, separating his hands very far apart. “I would like to see where it goes … but I just can’t give you the same level you’re on right now.”

Cass is shattered. She doesn’t even know how to respond. All she can think about is running back to the mansion and curling up in bed with a Thermos of wine.

The family time seems to have had a restorative effect on Nick and the no nonsense attitude of his sister Bernadette has rubbed off. He sits Cat down and demands to know if she’s only here to sell more bangles on Instagram.

‘And anklets!’
‘And anklets!’

Cat’s pissed. She’s sick of being ostracised for selling jewellery on the Gram. While she denies it’s her reason for being here, she also thinks it’s the reason Nick should keep her.

“I think I deserve a rose because I have spent so long and so many hours building my business,” she tells us.

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As the roses get handed out and Cat remains on the podium, her temper flares.

“I’m pissed off,” she spits. “I’m pretty shocked I haven’t got a rose yet.”

Her best friend and fellow mean girl Romy gets one. It comes down to Cat and Blair.

Cat’s done nothing but cause trouble. And Blair has made it her duty to stand up to her and the other snarky girls of the mansion. Surely the upstanding will come out on top.

But The Bachelor mansion isn’t like the outside world. Being a good Samaritan gets you no where. In this universe, insults and Instagram bangles are the only thing that will save you.

Cat gets the rose. And Blair is sent home with a wine Thermos.

For more observations on wine Thermoses and bread sticks, follow me on Twitter and Facebook: @hellojamesweir

For Bachelor odds, click here.

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