Queer Eye guys give makeover advice to Australia’s daggiest celebs

THE fab five get hilariously real with news.com.au, giving makeover tips to some unfashionable Aussies and telling us what they REALLY think of each other when the cameras are off.

THE Queer Eye guys are in Australia — can you believe?

Not since the Spice Girls visited our shores for a whirlwind promotional tour to premiere their 1997 cinematic classic Spiceworld has a fivesome so whipped this country into a hysterical frenzy.

That might sound like hyperbole — because it absolutely is — but consider this: returning from an interview slot with the five lifestyle gurus during their whistlestop Aussie visit, I was repeatedly met with one response: “OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM WHAT WERE THEY LIKE TELL ME EVERYTHING.”

So here’s the goss:

They were energetic and connected, even despite this journo being approximately the 347th hack to interview them during a long day of publicity commitments.

They were impossibly well-coiffured — Tan’s silver hair seems to defy the laws of gravity, while Jonathan’s lush locks and new-look mutton chops answer the question: What would happen if Jesus and Ned Kelly had a really beautiful gay baby?

They were deeply loved-up and frequently affectionate with each other in a manner that almost invites you to join them for a cuddle, were it not for the unspoken “no touching” rule that generally exists between journalists and their interviewees.

I sat down with the fab five — Karamo (Self-help Spice), Jonathan (Gay Jesus Spice), Antoni (Avocado Spice), Tan (Salt n’ Pepper Spice) and Bobby (Changing Rooms Spice) and asked them to offer some much-needed words of advice for several well-known daggy Australian men. You can watch the slightly chaotic results below — FYI, Tony Abbott, Antoni’s got a great raw onion recipe he’s happy to send your way:

Then we settled in for a chat about the show’s huge success, the new season and what’s happened to the people the guys have made over in season one — here’s what they had to say:

There’s such an infectious positive energy to Queer Eye. You guys are so damn wholesome.

Tan: You’re right, we are down-country, wholesome folk [all five snicker knowingly]. But I do think the show’s creators wanted to find authentic versions of us, without any fluff or phoniness.

Antoni: I’ve never heard anyone use the word wholesome before, but I think it touches on that pure act of kindness of showing up for somebody and helping them out. There’s no animosity, we’re all supporting each other. We’ve had very different upbringings, we’re all very different people, but our mission is the same: To show up for this person.

You all obviously share a genuine friendship — but what were your first impressions of each other?

Jonathan: Yeah, I’m gonna answer this one. I was minding my own business, telling a very innocuous story, when I looked up, and Antoni had the nerve to roll his floppy-haired eyes at me, totally judging a book by its cover.

It took him about two weeks to realise just how obsessed he was with me. Actually no, it took him 48 hours. I remember it was when we went to that Indian restaurant and he was like, “Oh my god, I think I’m obsessed with you.” I was like, “YEAH.”

Antoni: I saw the way you eat naan and I knew it was love.

A warning: This episode in season two will make you cry so much you may require an IV drip. Picture: Supplied/Netflix

Let’s talk about division of labour on this show. Not to diminish what the rest of you do, but Bobby, you usually have to remake a whole house.

Bobby: There’s no way I could do it alone. My team ranges from 5 to 15 people — I’m not in there building a house alone. I design it, then the team builds it.

Antoni: But one thing I think you do really masterfully is you touch on the personality of these heroes to make it such a personal space, after only knowing them for such a short amount of time. Kudos to you.

The people you’re helping on Queer Eye are all stuck in some kind of rut. You’re all so confident and polished — is it easy to relate to them, have you ever felt stuck like that?

Antoni: Yeah, it’s called my 20s. We’ve all been there at some point, where you feel like you’re lost.

Jonathan: So many people we came into contact with through the course of the show were people that were very much similar to where we’re from. Tom [grizzly bear with a heart of gold from season one] reminds me of so many uncles I’ve known … I could identify with different parts of everybody we worked with.

From left: Bobby Berk, Karamo Brown, Antoni Porowski, Jonathan Van Ness and Tan France. Gay superheroes, the lot of ‘em. Picture: Supplied/Netflix

What’s the after-care like on the show? Do you check in and make sure these people stay on track?

Jonathan: Neal [aspiring comedian the guys smarted up from a Sasquatch lookalike in season 1] posted this really busted selfie that was like a joke, I was like: Do we need to talk about root lifter? Do we need to talk about mousse? He was like relax, it was a joke, I’m not wearing my hair like this.

We do have a makeover in season two that we think may have reverted to like a pre-makeover state … I don’t know if I’m going to reach out, I might, I might not. Let them live their truth, right? But there is some after-care, sure.

Bobby: Neal is remodelling his place and I’m getting texts all the time about tile samples, colours, asking my advice — I love that though, because it makes me realise we actually did create change. We restarted their lives, and they’re keeping that momentum going.

You filmed in the NSW town of Yass on this trip and it seems you were met with open arms. Your publicist told me shopkeepers were blaring Kylie Minogue tunes in an effort to lure you in.

Jonathan: The beauty of Yass seems to be lost on Australians, because y’all don’t seem to be that fussed about her. I thought she was VERY gorgeous. And the people of Yass narrowly avoided disaster yesterday, because I drove on the right side of the road for a block, and I nailed it. I turned off into traffic twice — in two turns. NAILED it.

Queer Eye season two premieres on Netflix on June 15.