Married At First Sight: The big problem with Cyrell’s takedown of Ines

Cyrell stepped up to put Ines in her place on MAFS last night — but celebrating her ignores a disturbing truth.

Let me start by saying I hold a handful of unpopular opinions about our friends on Married At First Sight. I secretly think Ines can be pretty funny. And — although I’m yet to expand upon this fully — I also find Bronson deeply annoying. He’s so glassily cheerful. Anyway, more on that at another time.

The person I want to talk about today is Cyrell. Although I share James Weir’s deep reverence for our new favourite pejorative “King Ding-A-Ling”, I have a major issue with her stratospheric levels of rage.

And no, it’s not OK just because we all wanted to see someone wipe the smirk off Ines’ cheating face.

Ines seemed unfazed by Sam's rejection of her, but Cyrell was enraged.

The words she screamed last night at Ines and Sam are largely irrelevant, but for the record they were along the lines of “I will scream at you!” and “You just ruined a f***ing marriage!” (She might want to fact check the assertion that any legitimate marriages were ruined, but let’s not split hairs.)

It was the body language and volume that were the real issue. She was a ball of spitting, lashing fury, all flying fingernails and hoarse screaming.

If we heard a man yelling with Cyrell’s levels of venom we’d call the police. If he did it around children — and when you have a short temper like Cyrell’s it’s not something you suddenly learn to turn off even once you have a family, as she’s said she wants to — you’d call child protection.

Cyrell has an extremely short temper that is completely unacceptable.

It’s not like this is the first time we’ve seen Cyrell blow a fuse. She doesn’t reserve it for moments of heroism, such as serving Ines with righteous anger on behalf of the entire Australian viewing public, as grateful though we are for the intention behind the gesture.

She’s also previously exploded because Nic wasn’t holding her hand enough. “I won’t be here when you get back!” she thundered at her astonished groom as he left for the gym.

After one of the early dinner parties she concluded Nic hadn’t been sufficiently attentive or topped up her drink with appropriate promptness. Within minutes of bringing it up, Cyrell becomes a tornado of unstoppable anger. Not for nothing has Nic given her the nickname Cyclone Cyrell.

“He didn’t do one simple thing and boom! She blows,” observed Trisha Stratford through the two-way mirror in a scared voice.

Cyclone cyrell screaming up a storm at Sam and ines #MAFS #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/qWgCV1ZVA5

— Cin_Emily (@johnnypop69) February 24, 2019

Nic pleaded with his hot-headed bride to take it down a notch. “Talk to me like an adult! Why can’t you talk to me like a mature person!” he begged. That, of course, only set her off more.

“YOU ARE NOT F***ING PERFECT YOU NEVER ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU DO S*IT!” she screeched.

Worst of all, we know thanks to a series of accidental spoilers Cyrell is about to be involved in a physical fight with Martha, where she allegedly grabs the other woman by the throat.

That’s unhinged.

Cyrell's upcoming physical fight with Martha has been leaked in spoilers.

Here’s the thing with short tempers. I accept they can be very hard to rein in. It’s a learned behaviour and a natural fighting style that some people have, and in many ways it’s preferable to those insufferable mutes who go eerily silent and stonewall when they’re angry instead of thrashing it out.

But it’s also really unpleasant and frightening to be around. A kid who grows up around that level of fury will have trouble regulating his or her own emotions.

A person who lives with someone whose anger dial threatens to crank up to 11 at the slightest provocation will live in a constant state of hypervigilance, their cortisol levels shooting skywards at any hint of disharmony.

That’s no way to exist.

Cyrell, not impressed, ever.

We didn’t let Ines off the hook for domestic abuse towards Bronson, and we shouldn’t let Cyrell off just because we can see that her heart is in the right place and she invented the term “King Ding-A-Ling”, as grateful though we are for the latter.

We all need to work on ourselves. We all need to sand back our sharper edges. Cyrell is no different.

She needs to do some work on tempering her temper, or she’s going to end up either a) alone or b) on monitored day release from medium-security prison.