James Weir recaps Married At First Sight episode 11: Husband’s oral sex confession rocks MAFS

One MAFS husband has totally misread the room and revealed an appalling bedroom detail. Now, his co-stars are turning on him. James Weir recaps.

A Married At First Sight wife who has been desperately fishing for compliments gets more than she bargained for when her husband tells the group “she gives awesome head” before mocking her for having “crazy eyes” – which is particularly offensive because it’s impossible to achieve the former without the latter.

… Or … so I’ve heard.

Anyway …

JAMES WEIR:Read all the recaps here

We haven’t yet recovered from the first night of Sex Week and neither have the MAFS freaks.

The wives are still untangling themselves from their elaborate G-string bodysuits. Scissors will be required.

A lot of people don’t know this, but these lingerie ensembles are only single-use. Once the ladies have managed to unsnarl their limbs, the underwear will be all knotted up in a ball, like when you pull a pair of headphones out of your handbag.

Ensnared. Picture: Channel 9.

Jacqui’s still annoyed that Ryan refuses to describe her as … ahem … “the most beautiful girl in the world”.

It’s a refrain that will haunt us well after this circus has left town.

“I don’t know why Ryan fights about it,” she fumes. “I think he’s just failing to be grateful. The fact I’m spending the time trying to train him. Ryan is a waste of breath.”

All she wants is a man who showers her with compliments. What she’d give to be gushed over with praise. Well, be careful what you wish for, Jacqueline.

We cut to Ryan. He’s sitting with the other husbands at a seminar with sexpert Alessandra. And he’s about to offer some feedback that, technically, could be classified as a compliment. It’s just … not the kind of praise one hopes to receive on national television.

Like all positive evaluations, it begins with some light constructive criticism. In this instance, Ryan chooses to resuscitate the Crazy Eyes moniker bestowed upon Jackie last week.

“Suddenly, the crazy eyes came out,” he says while rehashing last night’s feud with his wife.

Jaws drop on the floor. The other husbands can’t believe he’s saying this. And Alessandra?

“What do you mean … crazy eyes?” she probes.

Ryan giggles, thinking everyone is loving the gags about Jacqui’s fierce stare. He doesn’t seem to register the mass shock.

“Well when she wants to discuss something she’s not happy with, then she gets quite ... intense,” he says, attempting to describe his wife’s withering gaze that, he claims, ruined “the whole mood” of Sex Week.

Ryan then follows this up with the kind of glowing praise Jacqui can add to her LinkedIn CV.

“ … But, I gotta say, she gives awesome head,” he commends, punctuating the statement with a chef’s kiss gesture. “Phwoar! Like, absolutely hot.”

This comment elicits the same stunned response from everyone – a reaction that can only be described as … crazy eyes.

cRaZy eYeS. Picture: Channel 9.

Bellissimo. Picture: Channel 9.

Obviously, the other husbands run home and tittle-tattle to their wives about what Ryan said. Cue more crazy eyes!

KERRR-AYYY-ZEEE. Picture: Channel 9.

Meanwhile, over at the nursing home, we check in on the token elderly couple. Tony shuffles in on his zimmer frame.

“I’m excited to tell you about my day,” he tells Morena.

As usual, Morena decides to hijack her husband’s story.

“Tony, this book is amazing,” she declares, holding up a self-help tome. “You can just open it up and it gives you an affirmation.”

She flips to a random page and begins reciting an inspirational quote aloud.

Tony huffs and walks away, defeated. Morena has been accusing him for weeks of not communicating but, every time he tries, she seizes the limelight and doesn’t let him talk.

“Did I say something?” Morena antagonises.

Diva, what HAVEN’T you said?

She begins furiously thumbing through her book and scream-reading passive aggressive quotes.

Suspect is armed with self-help literature and she isn’t afraid to use it.

When she runs out of second-hand self-help passages to recite, she begins monologuing.

“Nobody gets to tell me to stop talking! Nobody has the right to shut me down! Not on my watch!” she rants. “You told me not to talk so I don’t want to talk to someone who tells me not to talk — so I don’t want to talk!”

Morena is so parched from all this talk about not talking, she has to take a break to sip fluids from her giant Stanley Cup – lubricating her vocal cords so she can talk more.

We’ve forgotten what silence sounds like.

Just to escape the yammering, Tony flees town and catches the train back home to Wollongong.

This only inspires a whole new one-woman show from Morena. With nothing left to do, she records furious, uninterrupted monologues into her video diary cam and then spams Tony with the clips.

Jump scare.

The self-help book of affirmations has clearly worked wonders for Morena. Maybe she can loan it to compliment-starved Jacqui.

Facebook: @hellojamesweir