James Weir recaps the sex lives of reality TV stars

Life after reality TV is a luxurious mix of day-drinking and socialising – until all the real work gets in the way. James Weir recaps.

Life after reality TV is a luxurious mix of day-drinking and socialising – until real work gets in the way.

“Haley can’t come now,” Max Markson, the celebrity agent with a stable of former TV contestants as clients, regretfully informs. He’s referring to former MAFS star-turned-amateur-pornstar Hayley Vernon.

“She’s running late with a shoot for her OnlyFans – filming with two Playboy girls or something.”

It’s Friday morning and it seems everyone is in a rush to meet their deadlines before the weekend. Life post-MAFS is obviously go-go-go. And not just for Hayley.

The event she’s unable to attend is celebrating fellow MAFS alumni Jessika Power, who’s launching a new campaign for Celebrity Slim diet supplements. Or … something. The original product that was meant to be launched got cancelled at the last minute, so today’s gathering has really just become an excuse to drink free sparkling wine and pose for pictures in front of a branded media wall while occasionally pausing to yank a calamari ring off a seafood platter.

Jessika Power at the launch.

Hayley’s OnlyFans emergency is just a small blip on the guest list. Who else is attending? Everyone who has ever tried to be anyone. Former MAFS stars. Contestants who’ve appeared on various iterations of The Bachelor. And David.

“Do you know David?” Max asks. “He was the celebrity on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here who wasn’t actually a celebrity.”

He’s talking about David Subritzky, the Gold Coast-based British influencer who was cast on Channel 10’s extreme reality show as a fake celebrity to trick the real celebrities.

Upon arrival at Surfers Pavilion, he tweaks his nipples through his skin-tight turtleneck before posing for photos in front of the media wall.

Squished around the dining table are contestants from a mishmash of different shows. It’s the reality TV version of a Marvel-DC universe crossover. Belinda Love, who appeared on Matty J’s 2017 season of The Bachelor, is sitting near Big Brother winner Reggie Bird and chatting about how she’s now a recovered sex addict after sleeping with 700 people.

Mike Gunner, who made headlines during his time on the 2019 season of MAFS for his controversial remarks as well as his tattooed hairline, is talking about the time he did ayahuasca in Nicaragua.

Tamara Djordjevic, one of this year’s controversial Married At First Sight brides who copped national backlash for saying she’d never date someone who worked in retail, arrives with fellow MAFS contestant Carolina Santos, who caused outrage when she cheated on the man she was matched with because, among other issues, he wore high-heeled boots.

The ladies didn’t get along on the show but are now friends, with Carolina staying at Tamara’s house for the weekend.

Get a group of reality TV stars in a room and they all start trading war stories like they survived ‘Nam. Even if they didn’t know each other during their darkest days, the shared experience bonds them in a way no one else in this country will understand. Decades from now, reality stars will probably get their own public holiday where Aussies honour the service and sacrifice they made.

“I actually went up for an interview with Love Island but I didn’t realise I’d already signed a contract for The Bachelorette so I couldn’t even do the interview,” says Luca Fraraccio, who appeared on last year’s season of The Bachelorette, fronted by Brooke Blurton.

“And MAFS also contacted me. All three at once. I chose The Bachelorette and I wish I didn’t. I wish I did MAFS.”

David Subritzky was cast on Channel 10’s extreme reality show as a fake celebrity to trick the real ones.

A voice pipes up from across the table.

“You could’ve been my husband! What a shame I got who I got!” Tamara yells at Luca before launching into a rant about the guy she was matched with on the show.

“It would’ve been better than The Bachelorette,” Luca tells her. “That was f**kin’ sh*t”.

Luca’s currently a contestant on New Zealand reality show Heartbreak Island. The appearance has cost the PE teacher his contract job at a school.

“I think because (the show) is quite sexual,” he says of the school’s decision to distance itself from him. “There’s a lot of drinking. Swearing. There’s sexual activity. It’s raunchy.”

But he’s unfazed. He says he’s now opening a pizza shop.

Down one end of the table, Jessika’s holding court, discussing the property portfolio she’s in the process of building, thanks to the profits that are rolling in since she started posting adult content online a year ago.

“I’m looking at buying (a house) in Brisbane but this has only been since my OnlyFans fame,” she says as the sun glares into the alfresco area overlooking the Nerang River.

“I’m financially able to buy two homes now – I’d be able to pay for one down payment and almost a whole house, $400,000. But I really wanna buy a property in Greece and Airbnb it out.”

She already owns a house in Perth and currently lives in Manchester with her boyfriend Connor Thompson, the British podcaster she met after DMing him on Instagram. He has travelled with her to the Gold Coast for the product launch.

Their romance is one for the ages.

“He was hungover and I’d had a few drinks and messaged him,” she says.

Since Married At First Sight, life has been a whirlwind of reality TV and Instagram endorsement deals for Jessika. There has been an appearance on Channel 7’s Big Brother VIP and she plans on launching her own loungewear collection and line of lip products. She says life was different before she met Connor.

“When I was single, I used to party every single day,” she says, while sipping Chandon.

“My best friend would come over and I’d have a drink but I’d put it in a coffee mug and she’d go, ‘Jess. I know that’s not coffee, you don’t drink coffee!’ (I’d be like) ‘Ugh, let me live!’”

She looks across the table at her boyfriend. “You tamed the beast!” she yells at him.

Jessika Power with boyfriend Connor Thompson.

Pictured are Jessika, Carolina and Tamara.

“I can’t wait to get home and f**k him. He hates when I talk in public about f**king him.”

It’s not just their own sex life that’s the topic of conversation. Talk also turns to who has hooked up with footballers.

“There’s definitely a few NRL players I’ve been with and they always have a wife and kids,” David muses.

“Sometimes I actually don’t know that they play NRL until I have a shower after we’ve f**ked and I see their training gear on the floor.”

Connor knows a gay footballer in the UK. David’s keen. “I got fizzy knickers!”

Fizzy knickers? “It means I’m fizzing at the knickers”.

Connor DMs the footballer to see if he’s interested. “My friend on the Gold Coast says he has fizzy knickers for you,” he types.

Before a reply comes back, the group is hustling to move onto the next venue – a party at Cali Bar – where they’ll be joined by yet another controversial MAFS husband, Mitch Eynaud, and some guy from the Netflix reality show Byron Baes.

In a flurry, Jessika, Tamara, Carolina and David are gone. Left in their wake are empty bottles of wine, smudged espresso martini glasses and untouched gift bags of diet supplements.

Twitter, Facebook: @hellojamesweir