James Weir recaps Seven Year Switch series 2 episode 8

AFTER seeing incriminating photos, a Seven Year Switch fiancee has confronted another woman for sleeping with her partner.

INCRIMINATING photos distributed on Seven Year Switch have left one man breaking out in hives while crouching in a hallway and one fiancee tearing shreds off a woman for sleeping in the same bed as her partner.

Because there’s not enough drama happening this series, the psychologists decide to create some on Monday night by slipping a manilla folder containing photos under each experimental couple’s front door. The photos show what their real partners have been up to throughout the experiment.

While some experience mild pangs of jealousy, no one takes the task harder than Mark who actually breaks out in hives as he has a panic attack while crouching in a stairwell. That’s not even an exaggeration. That’s word for word how Felicity describes the scene.

It’s all set off by a photo of their partners Kaitlyn and Michael in bed together, separated by a pillow wall.

Nothing’s sexier than a pillow wall.

Mark’s denial about what he sees is sensational.

“Is that the same bed? How can you tell?” he asks Felicity about the photo, which clearly shows their partners in the same bed.

But he is adamant it’s either photoshopped or just an optical illusion.

“I’m still not convinced it’s the same room,” he concludes.

Felicity looks at Mark like he’s an idiot and he quickly spirals into a deep depression.

“My heart has been ripped out,” he confesses.

Felicity, typically unsympathetic, makes it worse: “I guess it kind of shows what type of girl she is,” she says with wide eyes and pursed lips, her go-to expression when she’s being a little know-it-all.

This is when Mark runs and hides in the stairwell and breaks out in hives. I believe some important things are said here but with the polished concrete and the tiles it’s really echoey and to be honest I can’t really understand anything.

Jodie Foster and Kristen Stewart in Panic Room.

The following morning, Felicity tries to lift Mark’s spirits by having a serious conversation without a top on.

“You were saying ...”

Over at Michael and Kaitlyn’s house, they shrug their shoulders at the totally non-offensive photos of their partners together. But then it hits them.

“Those were totally G-rated photos! Ours are gonna be more like R-rated photos and I’m stressed!” Kaitlyn says, as memories of skinny dipping and erotic massages come flooding back into her mind.

When you realise the three cameras that you skinny dipped in front of may have been on.

Not content with the drama they caused with the candid photographic evidence, the psychologists decide it will now be fun to set up a lunch date for Kaitlyn and Felicity to meet for the first time.

When Kaitlyn and Felicity come face-to-face in a conveniently empty pub, they both look unsure. Maybe it’s because of the incriminating photos they both know will come up this afternoon. Or maybe it’s just because neither of them know if this establishment does table service or if they have go to the bar to order.

Felicity eases into the meeting with some fun small talk.

“After seeing the photos Mark’s lost his shit and he pretty much nearly had a breakdown,” she spits at Kaitlyn just seconds after introducing herself.

Felicity tells Kaitlyn they saw the photos of her in bed with Michael and suggests Mark is now considering ending it all.

“I think you could’ve just wrecked your relationship,” Felicity snips, gritting her teeth in mock sympathy.

‘Yeah sorry babe.’

Kaitlyn explains she didn’t think it was a big deal she and Michael slept in the same bed and assumed Mark and Felicity were doing the same. Felicity cuts her off and schools her in appropriate behaviour.

“I would never do that to you guys. I think that was a poor choice on your part. I think it’s pretty disgusting. I could never sleep in bed with someone else’s partner,” she slams.

Not satisfied, Felicity decides to throw one more bold statement out there: “And, hey, you could’ve broken up our family.”

It just gets messier from here.

Felicity reveals Mark’s feelings that if Kaitlyn doesn’t change then he’s ending it. Kaitlyn cries and then says Michael’s exploded at her several times and called her names.

It all becomes too much — and the fact a waitress still hasn’t been over to take their order only adds to the frustration.

‘I just want a beverage.’

Felicity decides she wants out. Of this crappy pub but also her relationship.

“So you’ve pretty much broken up a family,” she tells Kaitlyn, even though her relationship was in the toilet prior to Michael sharing a pillow wall with Kaitlyn. “Where I am after seeing those photos, that’s pretty much the end point for me. Like, how could I be with someone who’s slept in the same bed as another girl, that’s f***ing disgusting. It is over.”

She then takes off her ring and slams it on the table.

“ ... You can actually give that back to Michael,” she says.

Felicity runs out of the bar. Kaitlyn hastily wraps the ring in a napkin, shoves it in her purse and runs after her.

And just as they leave, a waitress arrives to take their order.

For more observations on hives and table service, follow me on Twitter: @hellojamesweir