James Weir recaps Farmer Wants A Wife 2023 episode 3

This wholesome reality show explodes with two embarrassing tantrums before someone’s mum is called. James Weir recaps.

Ladies, take this kind of behaviour over to The Bachelor mansion.

TV’s once wholesome reality show continues to rebel on Wednesday night’s episode of Farmer Wants A Wife with two teary tantrums, a storm out and a fight that’s nastier than the excrement-matted cow tails the city girls are forced to groom.

“I feel bad and embarrassed. I was emotional and I lost my sh*t,” Claire sighs to us.

When we left her last night, she was having a meltdown and threatening to quit the show after just 24-hours. In typical reality star fashion, she fails to make good on the promise. But the antics are just beginning. And someone’s mum is called.

JAMES WEIR RECAPS:Read all the recaps here

Producers decide to play mind games with Claire and supercharge her anxiety by introducing a fun game: The double-date-and-dump. The rules are simple. Each farmer has to choose two ladies for a double date and then dump one.

Claire immediately freaks out, worried Andrew will use this game as an opportunity to get rid of her after last night’s tantrum. She goes into damage control.

“I feel like I need to say something to everybody,” she blurts out over dinner. “Today I was not OK. So, I did want to go home today – not because of you or this or anything else but specifically because I felt really guilty for going on the first date. The relationship I’ve formed with the girls made me feel like I was doing the wrong thing. It was not a reflection on you or the time we spent together. So whatever you decide, I just want you to know that I did want to go home today because I felt like a sh*t person.”

This impromptu speech is supposed to clear the air. Instead, it fogs it up worse than a stink bomb. Everyone’s uncomfortable.

“I … am not sure why Claire said what she said,” some woman called Kelly cringes.

And Farmer Andrew? He now thinks Claire is even more nutso.

“Yeah, you gotta question that. That’s all happening within A DAY,” he says of Claire’s outbursts. “If she doesn’t 100 per cent wanna be here, she’s potentially going to be the one I will send home.”

He picks Claire and Kelly for the double-date-and-dump.

Farmer Andrew does look particularly stunned here but this is also kinda just his natural facial expression.

While Andrew and his two sheilas rattle off on their date in his LandCruiser, we go check in on Farmer Matt. He’s in the process of announcing Alice and Madison as the unfortunate participants in his own double-date-and-dump. Alice spirals into a Claire-style meltdown — running into the bedroom and tearfully calling her mum to dob on Matt.

“Two of us had to be picked to go and one of us will go home and I was one of them and I think I just wanna come hoooome!” she wails down the phone line. “I don’t think I wanna do it. I just don’t wanna do it and put myself through it and embarrass myself!”

If only she realised two things.

1. Matt’s behind her, hearing everything.

2. She’s already embarrassed herself.

U OK?

Matt takes a seat on the bed and tries to comfort her but she lurches up off the mattress and stumbles out of the room. Then she sees the cameras.

“Ugh, f*ck they’re everywhere,” she groans. “I just feel so uncomfortable with you all filming me!” Her hands flail in the air as she runs down the hallway and bursts through the back door.

An appropriate reaction to seeing the cameras on the reality show you signed up for.

“I’m just really worried at the moment that I’m not gonna be able to come back from this and I feel very embarrassed,” she sniffs while slumping on the back steps of the house. “I think I wanna go home.”

Matt comes out and crouches down next to her. He’s sweet and lovely. It infuriates Madison — Alice’s opponent in the double-date-and-dump.

“I can hear Alice being quite upset and I can hear him talking to Alice about their feelings and I’m feeling a little frustrated with the extra time Alice is getting with Matt,” she fumes.

Sure, Alice’s tantrum is humiliating, but it has inadvertently scored her more face time. It’s a weird tactic that works a charm. Alice wins the double date and Madison is dumped.

You should’ve thrown a tantrum and cried hysterically on the phone to your mum.

Back at Farmer Andrew’s, he sits down at the dinner table with his flock of ladies to announce who’s getting dumped. But instead of doing it in front of the group, he takes Kelly outside to quietly break up.

Claire doesn’t seem to piece two-and-two together and comes to the conclusion that she herself is getting dumped. She promptly breaks down … again.

“We had the best day ever!” she wails into her napkin.

The other ladies are confused. Why is Claire so desperate to stay when, just hours earlier, she was begging to leave?

“Obviously I have a connection with you guys, so I felt bad,” she says to the ladies, who she has known for less than two days. “I always put my friends first. Would you have done the same for me?”

Maddison rolls her eyes. “Honestly, no – because I don’t know you well enough. Just, leave me out of it, yeah?”

Some lady called Lucie pipes up. “Well you can leave, that’s fine.”

“Don’t get nasty,” Maddison snips.

Lucie’s furious at the accusation. “I’m not getting NASTY.”

Maddison raises her eyebrows and looks away. “Doesn’t look good on you.”

“You’re so quick to roll your eyes at everybody else. You’re just as annoying – if not more,” Lucie spits across the table.

They’ll fit right in with the local CWA ladies.

Twitter, Facebook: @hellojamesweir

Ladies, take this kind of behaviour over to The Bachelor mansion.