Triple J’s Lindsay ‘The Doctor’ McDougall quits after 10 years, who will replace him?

AFTER 10 years, Triple J’s Lindsay ‘The Doctor’ McDougall is signing off. Here’s our picks for his replacement.

After 10 years, Triple J’s Lindsay ‘The Doctor’ McDougall is signing off.

Lindsay McDougall told listeners the news live on his Triple J show yesterday afternoon, in a song he wrote called I’m F...ing Off.

“I’m f...ing off because I want to do a bunch of cool other stuff,” he sang.

“Also I think 10 years is quite enough.

“No, I haven’t been axed … I just think that someone else should have a turn at talking sh.. and playing real cool tunes.”

I should also probably shout out to The Simpsons, which I brazenly "was inspired by" writing my Fxxxing Off song. https://t.co/fVxGHOqdJY

— Lindsay McDougall (@Doctortriplej) October 16, 2014

ABC will announce a replacement for the all-important drive shift in December.

Triple J manager Chris Scaddan said McDougall has been “a whirlwind of insightful music interviews, dangerous jokes, random tattoos and impromptu guitar solos”.

“He is going to be very hard to replace,” Scaddan said.

We’ve decided to give the station a hand, and at this early stage of the game, McDougall’s shoes could be filled by pretty much anybody. Here are our top picks:

Comedians Ronny Chieng and Nazeem Hussain

Recent fill-ins while McDougall took a break, Hussain and Chieng are obvious contenders for the hosting gig, and it would be a coup for the station to get them. Highlights from their two week stint included a nationwide game of Chinese whispers and asking Tom Jones what a sex bomb really is.

Odds: $10

NAZEEM HUSSAIN: Racism is part of my daily life

Our favourites ... Ronny Chieng and Nazeem Hussain interview the heck out of Tom Jones.

Harrison Feldman

He’s a total scene-stealer as Upper Middle Bogan’s Oscar, and at 14 he doesn’t just relate to the youth of today — he is the youth. The young actor is conveniently already on the ABC’s books, but he might need his mum to drop him off after school.

Odds: $100 if this horse bolts home.

Australia’s fave lil bogan, Harrison Feldman. Picture: ABC

Blake Garvey, The Bachelor

The Bach badly needs an image overhaul. Serenaded by lovely ladies on the reality show, he’s proven he can feign enthusiasm for any kind of music, no matter how awful, and his deep, deep voice will have the airwaves wobbling.

Odds: A long bet. And even if he does commit, would probably just change his mind.

Needs love ... Can Blake win the hearts of Triple J listeners? Unlikely.

Drinking Bird

Now, we’re not saying any idiot could push the buttons at Triple J. But when Homer Simpson got too fat and lazy to operate his computer, he employed a pecking bird toy to do it for him. If a replacement for the Doctor can’t be found, old Pecker here could hold the fort. And in these austere times, he won’t cost the ABC much.

Odds: Twenty to one. As Ralph Wiggum would say, it’s not “un-possible”.

It would be a hit surely ... Drinking Bird on the airwaves.

Tony Abbott

While we’re talking about birds, maybe our famous budgie smuggler-wearing PM would like to get behind the desk. It’d give him an opportunity to address the ABC’s left-wing bias and a closer look at where to make cuts.

Odds: Please, no. Just no.

Outsider ... It couldn’t take Tony Abbot all day to be PM, surely?

Waleed Aly

Did you know Waleed Aly is in a rock, funk and jazz band? He’s got a musical connection. Since Robot Child (he’s the guitarist) doesn’t get a lot of airplay, he might be tempted to give his own tunes a whirl in the afternoon spot. Not sure how that will go over with the listeners.

Odds: He’d better stick to being a lawyer/TV host/academic.

Waleed Aly has rock cred ... kind of. Picture: Tony Gough