‘The secret shame I share with Prime Minister Tony Abbott’

‘I WAS under the impression that Tony Abbott and I had nothing in common. But this morning I learnt that the PM and I actually share the same secret shame.’

I WAS under the impression that Tony Abbott and I had nothing in common.

He likes wearing speedos whereas I like looking at men wearing speedos.

He was a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford whereas I studied at the University of Canberra.

And from all reports his celebrity crush is John Howard whereas mine is ... well ... any famous man wearing speedos.

But this morning I learnt that Tony Abbott and I actually share the same secret shame ... we both drink mochas.

This bombshell was revealed to me on the 2Day FM breakfast show hosted by Dan and Maz, who asked their listeners to call in with stories of when they’d fed celebrities.

“I used to make Tony Abbott’s coffee after his morning run,” said a woman called MJ.

“He had a large mocha every day.”

Tony loves a mocha, and so do I.

The radio hosts were not impressed.

“Tony Abbott’s drinking a glorified hot chocolate?!” said host Dan Debuf.

“No wonder he can’t run a country when that’s what he’s drinking,” remarked show anchor Mike Christian.

“Just man up!,” said Debuf. “Have a hot chocolate and own it! Don’t pretend like you’re a coffee drinker. Or have a proper coffee!”

This reaction is not at all surprising.

Mocha drinkers such as myself are quite used to being ... mocha’d (I know, I can’t believe I wrote that either).

Does the barista at my local cafe really think I don’t notice the little smirk he gives me when I order my chocolatey beverage?

Do my colleagues really have to make a song and dance EVERY SINGLE MORNING when someone comes back from the coffee run and hands me my mocha?

Mochas make Tony Abbott happy.

I had my first mocha just over a year and a half ago when I started working at news.com.au.

I was given the morning shift, starting at 5.30am, and daunted by the task of writing about Kim Kardashian at such an ungodly hour, I turned to coffee, a drink I’d always despised, in order to jump-start my brain.

A good mate explained to me that mochas are a gateway to coffee, one that I could use to slowly adjust my tastebuds in the hope that one day I would graduate to a latte or ... dare I say ... even a long black.

But guess what? My tastebuds haven’t developed.

And why should I want them to? Mochas have the same amount of caffeine as long blacks BUT it’s delivered inside a deliciously smooth and soul-satisfyingly sweet liquid.

All the effects of caffeine hidden inside a hot chocolate ... what could be better?

Being a mocha drinker can be a lonely existence.

From now on, I’ll hold my head high when I order a mocha. Much like Tony Abbott’s refusal to step down, I too will refuse to cave in to peer pressure and move beyond the mochas.

As I said, we’re both very different people, but today the Prime Minister and I are essentially brothers in arms.

Or should I say ‘brews in arms’?

Would you too like to out yourself as a mocha drinker?Leave a comment below.