‘Neighbours comeback makes me feel lied to’

After a huge fuss and emotional finale Neighbours has announced it’s coming back. But not everyone is happy about it.

OPINION

In July, after 37 years, the long-running soap Neighbours said goodbye. It was the end of an era, and I cried during the final scene, but now they are back, and I don’t feel excited. I feel a bit annoyed, actually.

I mean, I guess the theme song did say, “Neighbours will be there for one another …” but honestly, this feels a bit smothering. I’ve already mourned you once. I’m not sure if I can do it again. (I know Noah, from the Notebook, famously said to Ally, “I’ve lost you once, I can lose you again!” But I’m just not that emotionally stable.)

Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan even reprised their roles as Scott and Charlene for the Neighbours finale. Picture: Channel 10

Yes, after making such a bloody fuss and giving us a send-off with Toadie and Mel finally saying I do and luring original stars back like Guy Pearce, Margot Robbie and Kylie (does she even need a last name) Minogue. The soap has now announced it is returning and will air on Network 10 after landing a deal with Prime Video.

Neighbours went on a farewell tour, just like Elton John does every few years, only to come back. On the one hand, I’m thrilled to see our friends at Ramsay Street again, but on the other hand, I feel a bit gypped.

You got me all emotional and worked up for a break that only lasted a measly few months? The truth is I’ve made some life changes in that time. I’ve had to become invested in the River Boys on Home And Away. Do I even have room for Neighbours anymore? (The River Boys are constantly wet and going through big romantic dramas, it is must-watch television.)

Can Mel and Toadie compete with the wet and musclebound River Boys? Probably not. Picture: Channel 10

To make the announcement, Neighbours tweeted a clip of Susan Kennedy, played by Jackie Woodburne, accompanied by Dr Karl (Alan Fletcher) and Toadie (Ryan Moloney) to reveal the big news.

Firstly, I’m glad Toadie has a gig again. Neighbours is the only job he’s ever had and I was concerned he’d have to go into Ten’s I’m A Celebrity jungle to make ends meet.

Secondly, sure, it was nice to see their friendly faces, but it is the equivalent of a friend insisting on a destination wedding that will cost plenty of your own cash but still demands fanfare and attention only for her to divorce the guy three months later.

Ryan Moloney, Jackie Woodburne and Alan Fletcher made the Twitter announcement. Picture: Supplied

Or, if that metaphor doesn’t hit home, when a family member announces they are moving overseas, and you throw the big farewell party, and everyone cries, and then they return three months later after realising Medicare isn’t a worldwide thing.

Or the guy who breaks up with you but still insists on sending you 2am ‘you up’ texts? Sure, it’s nice to know he is thinking of you, but you don’t ever want to see that guy again. He broke your heart, remember?

Neighbours lied to us. It said goodbye, and now it has come back, and I’m not sure if I’m ready to return to Ramsay Street.

I’m happy original cast members are returning, and they’ve even kept the original showrunner. But ultimately, I believe if you are going to say goodbye, it should be goodbye. I may have to treat the soap exactly how I treat men who have broken up with me. Once you end things, I will never let you entertain me again. Though one look at Harold’s kind face could convince me otherwise.

Mary Madigan is a freelance writer.