Jessica Silva opens up to 60 Minutes about the night she killed James Polkinghorne

PARANOID and furious, James Polkinghorne sent his estranged partner a barrage of scary, abusive texts. Then he showed up at her home.

“I JUST grabbed the knife...

“Just to kind of scare him. I wasn’t thinking I was going to use it.”

It is a day Jessica Silva tries desperately to forget.

But three years on she said it still feels like yesterday and she knows that only by talking about it will she finally be free.

“He really made me believe that he was coming to kill me.”

In an interview with 60 Minutes, the 27-year-old opened up about the day she stabbed to death her estranged partner James Polkinghorne, 28, in the street outside her family’s Marrickville home in Sydney’s inner west.

Ms Silva admits her character was broken by years of domestic abuse and she carries guilt and remorse for the way the events of Mother’s Day 2012 unfolded.

She recalled emotional and physical abuse that ranged from fat shaming to being physically held over a balcony.

“It started off with belittling me, making me feel like I was fat, I was ugly, I wasn’t worth anything,” she told reporter Michael Usher.

“Physically, I’d be thrown across the room, held over the balcony. Pin me down, hold me down, just punch me, kick me.

“I just didn’t want the end result to be like that.

“He always had to be right. Everything had to be done his way and in his time.”

Jessica says if she didn't make that split-second decision to stab James, she “would have been dead." On #60Mins https://t.co/7NoYbPCPUe

— 60 Minutes Australia (@60Mins) April 19, 2015

What we know about that night are details delivered the day after Polkinhorne’s death in a police report tendered to court. Until now, Ms Silva has never spoken about it publicly.

Polkinghorne, unemployed and heavily-affected by drugs including ice, had become increasingly aggressive towards Ms Silva.

She told police she was terrified of him but did not report physical abuse or threats because she was afraid of the consequences.

Unbeknownst to Ms Silva at the time, Polkinghorne had become the prime suspect in a drug murder.

“He said, ‘Jessica, do you know who I am? I’m an effing murderer.’ And he used those exact words.”

High on the ice, increasingly paranoid and furious, Polkinghorne called Ms Silva two days before Mother’s Day.

“He calls, he says ‘I’ll kill youse all. I’m telling you, I’m not effing joking.’ He really made me believe that he was coming to kill me.”

The couple’s relationship boiled over on May 13 when Polkinghorne arrived at her home about 9pm.

“He was on a rage. He was crazy. Worse than ever. I couldn’t even understand him.”

In a barrage of abusive texts, he tells her he’s going to kill her.

“I swear I’m gonna cave your f’ing head in. I’m gonna bash the F out of you, and I don’t give a F who’s standing next to ya. I’ll bash them too,” he tells Ms Silva.

Jessica Silva walking out of the Supreme court of NSW.

James Polkinghorne was killed on Mother’s Day, 2012.

After striking Ms Silva in the face, Polkinghorne got into an altercation with her brother Miguel and her father Avalino.

“So I walked out to the front of my house, and he just started punching my face, trying to pull me down to the ground. And then my brother just stepped in and took him off me.

“And all I could hear him saying was, ‘Youse all deserve to die! Youse all deserve to die!’”

The men wrestled in the street two doors down from where she still resides. Polkinghorne pins Ms Silva’s brother to the ground and begins to choke him.

Ms Silva ran to the kitchen, retrieved a large knife and stabbed Polkinghorne five times in the shoulder and neck.

“I could just hear him screaming and screaming, ‘Kill. I’m gonna kill youse!’ And so I approached him, I went slightly closer to him. And then he looked up and he went to grab me again and to drag me back down to the ground, and he was punching my back at the same time, trying to drag me.

“And that’s when I stabbed him.”

"Walk away… They're never going to change," Jessica sends a heartfelt message to women suffering from abuse. WATCH: https://t.co/Miy1u4GH7Y

— 60 Minutes Australia (@60Mins) April 19, 2015

He died at the scene and she was charged with his murder. She spent 29 weeks at the maximum security Silverwater prison before her trial in November last year.

A jury found her not guilty of murder but guilty of manslaughter and a judge sentenced her to time already served.

Now her lawyer says she shouldn’t have been charged with anything and that he will seek a full acquittal in the Court of Criminal Appeal.

“If anything she deserved an award for her bravery,” Adam Houda told 60 Minutes.

“We believe it should have been a complete acquittal. We believe it was a straight out self-defence case. And that’s why we’re appealing.”

Michael Usher, who interviewed Ms Silva for the story, said the mother-of-one broke down a number of times during filming but chose to proceed because “she doesn’t want anyone to go through what she went through”.

“The emotions are still very raw, very unresolved,” he told news.com.au.

“Even though it happened in 2012 it still feels like yesterday.”

Jessica Silva is speaking out for the first time.

He said Ms Silva carries guilt and remorse and is “adamant” she did not want to kill the 28-year-old.

“She lived with the threat of being killed. He started by belittling her, saying ‘you’re fat, you’re ugly’.

“He broke down her character and the physical violence was atrocious. He was more than 100kg of muscle — incredibly strong, very intimidating. She lived in fear that she was going to die. She said it was split second, she just wanted to scare him.”

In the interivew, Ms Silva recalled her first abusive altercation with Polkinghorne, where he “grabbed me by the neck and pulled me up against a wall”.

“He had me up, just with his one hand, up against a wall, choking me. And then he let me go, and then he just ran down the side of the road and just started head-butting the cars down the side of the road.”

Even when the police arrived and asked why she had red marks around her neck, she simply blamed it on an allergic reaction, scared of the consequences if she told the truth.

“He had told me that if I had said anything to the police, that there’d be a lot of drama. He would cause some drama.”

Three years on, Ms Silva is finally ready to tell her tale.

“She’s finally found some strength to talk about it,” Mr Usher said.

“This is a woman who doesn’t quite believe her own freedom. She doesn’t want anyone to go through what she went through.”

If you are facing domestic violence and need help, call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), a 24 hour, National Sexual Assault, Family & Domestic Violence Counselling Line for any Australian who has experienced, or is at risk of, family and domestic violence and/or sexual assault.