What you never knew about raunchy 90s hit Sex / Life: Host Tottie Goldsmith spills

IF YOU were a curious teen in the mid-90s, Sex / Life was essential television. Now its former host Tottie Goldsmith has spilled all its secrets.

IF YOU were a curious, puberty-stricken teen during the mid-90s, chances are Sex / Life was appointment television for you.

A late-night adult lifestyle program, Sex / Life was aimed at a sophisticated, sexually active audience — but with its mix of informative sex education stories and occasionally salacious soft-porn visuals, arguably its most eager viewers were younger than intended.

Twenty years after she left the show, host Tottie Goldsmith — who was replaced by Alyssa-Jane Cook for Sex / Life’s final two seasons — reflects on the one infamous gig she’s still asked about to this day.

Come on Tottie, this is a family beach.

SHE WASN’T SURE IF SHE SHOULD TAKE THE HOSTING ROLE — SO ASKED FOR BIG BUCKS

“First I talked to my grandmother for advice, and I thought she’d say definitely no. But she said ‘You’ll give it some style and some credibility’. I still wasn’t sure, and that’s when I said to my agent: ‘OK. Double or nothing’,” she tells news.com.au.

“They came back and said yes! [Hosting the show] worked for me and against me — it made me a household name but it also hindered my work in other areas, so I’m glad I got paid well for it.”

SHE DIDN’T ALWAYS LIKE THE CONTENT OF THE SHOW

“The only thing I didn’t like was the visuals[many of the Sex / Life’s stories were illustrated with lingering footage of near-nude models rolling around in bed together]. They’d try a little too hard to be sensationalistic, and that bothered me, because it wasn’t what the show was about. But overall it was informative.

A typically risque scene from Sex / Life.

“I got really associated with it — people really hung on the word ‘sex’, and it was quite titillating. The show was talking about things that would be absolutely ‘whatever’ now, but back then, it was really risqué. We tackled everything from midlife crises to menopause to circumcision to domestic violence. Of course we went into all the sexual stuff, and I thought we handled it pretty well. It dealt with homosexuality, cross-dressing, gender-changing — all really interesting stuff that I felt could’ve been handled with a bit more depth. But overall, I think it really did open up the dialogue.”

Nice work if you can get it, Tottie.

IT WASN’T YOUR AVERAGE HOSTING GIG

“We did some really good stuff. We did some weird stuff too … but I found the weird stuff good! I remember once I interviewed a couple about being kinky, and the next thing you know they’re lying down on the floor licking each other’s leather boots. I’m thinking, ‘Really? THAT does it for you? OK, I won’t judge ...’

“We did a story about swingers, and I didn’t know the scene was so big around the country. The crew came back drunk, because they had to drink to deal with it. They went to an actual swingers party to film it, and it was pretty hardcore. I was learning a lot along the way, too.”

With her harem of Sex / Life presenters for a 1996 publicity still.

SHE LEFT THE SHOW BECAUSE OF CREATIVE DIFFERENCES

“I went to the producer at the end of the first year, because they wanted me to re-sign, and I said ‘OK, I’ll re-sign if we can go into the cultural aspects of talking about sex and relationships’. We’re a melting pot[in Australia], and there’s so much we need to understand about courtship and sexuality. They wouldn’t do it, so that’s why I threw the towel in. I thought we needed to get a little deeper if we did another season.”

All that exists of the show online are a couple of grainy YouTube clips.

THE FEEDBACK FROM FANS MADE IT WORTHWHILE

“What I did hear a lot was that it opened up a dialogue for couples. I remember meeting a woman who was probably in her late 70s, and she told me [watching the show] was the first time she felt comfortable talking to her husband about their sexual relationship. It got things back on track for them — at that age! When I heard stories like that, I felt I was involved with something really good and worthwhile.”

Tottie rockin’ ‘The Rachel’.

IT BROUGHT OUT A FEW CREEPS, THOUGH

“Oh yeah. But there’s always gonna be a weird fan. In particular, young stupid men would take liberties with the way they spoke to me. In those days I’d go along and host nightclub appearances and I’d have drunk men saying absolute stupid crap to me. All I’d have to do is give them a foul look and they’d get the message. But I definitely paid a price for Sex / Life.”

THE PEOPLE WHO REMEMBER THE SHOW MOST FONDLY WEREN’T ALLOWED TO WATCH IT

“People mention it quite a bit, and it’s usually people that snuck off and watched it behind their parents’ backs! We end up all a laugh together, because I think: That would’ve been me, I would’ve been the kid sneaking off and watching it behind my parents’ backs. Young and dumb and full of c*m, is that how they say it?”

Goldsmith (centre) still regularly gigs with The Chantoozies. Picture: Julie Kiriacoudis

NOWADAYS GOLDSMITH, 53, IS FOCUSED ON ACTING, WORKS AS A MARRIAGE CELEBRANT, AND TOURS WITH HER BANDMATES IN THE CHANTOOZIES — WHO RECENTLY SUPPORTED BANANARAMA ON A NATIONAL TOUR.

“We blew [Bananarama] out of the water! They were a bit lazy. The Aussie audiences were a bit disappointed in them. It was one hit after another, but they just didn’t give it their all. They were sitting backstage drinking gin and smoking cigarettes and having a bit of an English whinge, really,” she laughs.

“Bananarama I don’t think will get asked back in a huge hurry. I was so excited to meet them, I was beside myself, and I was met with these snide glances. They were not impressed with us.”

Tottiegoldsmith.com.au