Celebrating SJP’s birthday with Carrie Bradshaw’s worst life advice

IN honour of Sarah Jessica Parker’s 50th birthday, we decided to review the pearls of wisdom and life advice from her alter-ego Carrie Bradshaw.

31/05/2002 PIRATE: 2002. Actor Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw in the TV show "Sex and the City".

SARAH Jessica Parker turns 50 today!

And in honour of the milestone, we got to thinking and decided to review the insights and pearlers from her alter-ego Carrie Bradshaw.

“I like my money where I can see it — hanging in my closet.”

Keep in mind, Carrie couldn’t afford to buy her own apartment and had to sell her friend’s wedding ring to keep a roof over her head.

Is sex ever safe?

With condoms and hope.

Carrie looking at her money.

“I don’t believe in email. I’m an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up.”

Girlfriend probably would’ve had more writing jobs if she had email.

“When I first moved to New York and I was totally broke, sometimes I would buy Vogue instead of dinner. I felt it fed me more.”

Nope. Would rather a burrito.

Put down the phone and sign up to gmail.

“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”

The gal loves an analogy.

“As we speed along this endless road to the destination called ‘who we hope to be’, I can’t help but whine, ‘Are we there yet?’”

What’s with the driving analogies?

“Are men just women with balls?”

Are women just men with boobs?

Carrie was probably thinking of more driving analogies here.

“Can you make a mistake and miss your fate?”

Almost had a rhyme there.

“After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breath and reboot.”

Please don’t compare your MacBook crashing to Miranda’s mum dying.

“What comes first: the chicken or the sex?”

Huh?