Federal Election 2022: James Weir recaps the third leaders’ debate

The final showdown between the two leaders took a turn when they were thrown a trick question — and the PM fell into the trap. James Weir recaps.

Scott Morrison made great use of his favourite new Albo insult during last night’s third leaders’ debate - but the PM failed to understand the assignment when responding to a trick question.

As the on-screen clock counted down, and dramatic Deal Or No Deal-style music began to play, Morrison should have phoned a friend. But he didn’t, and the gamble did not pay off.

Channel 7 threw all its resources at the final debate. And that included all the leftover production elements of game shows past and present to really add some razzle dazzle.

Sure, it was an important event where the two men asking Australians to vote them into the top job would face-off for the final time. But who’s to say it couldn’t have theatrics?

So we got the doomy game show music and producers used it to wind-up the leaders’ answers, like the orchestra at the Oscars during longwinded speeches.

Then there were the red and blue laser lights, plus the countdown clock that flashed up on the screen. For the whole debate, it felt like producers were this-close to doing a live cross to the Big Brother house for political analysis from Reggie. Network execs probably even tossed up if they could get away with bringing back Andrew O’Keefe to host.

Instead, it was political editor Mark Riley asking the questions. Kinda disappointing.

Out of shot: the Deal Or No Deal briefcase girls.

ScoMo made it clear just hours before the showdown that he was looking for a fight. At that morning’s press conference in Newcastle, he was full-on hurling insults at Albo – warming up to be ultra combative for the evening’s battle.

It’s during that rant that he whipped out his favourite new phrase, calling Albo a “loose unit”. Could they be the two words that completely end ScoMo’s hopes of winning? After all, Australians love nothing more than a loose unit. He has completely rebranded Albo for the better.

While we enjoy any and all insults, particularly when they’re being spat by grown men, this latest one doesn’t sit quite right. Just last week, ScoMo was teasing Albo for looking like Harry Potter. Now he’s a loose unit? Harry Potter and loose units are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

How can we expect Mr Morrison to govern with a steady hand, when even his insults are inconsistent?

JAMES WEIR RECAPS:The first leaders’ debate

JAMES WEIR RECAPS: The second leaders’ debate

It’s almost as if he only recently heard the phrase “loose unit” and is now obsessed with saying it. Across the day, in the lead-up to the debate, he repeated it in interviews. By the time he hit the stage in the Channel 7 studio, we were all just waiting for it to get another run.

It was only a matter of time befor-

“He is a loose unit!” ScoMo blurted.

And that’s not where the trash-talk ended.

“For the past three years, Mr Albanese has been an armchair critic. He is like that person on Monday morning who always says what should’ve happened on the weekend.”

Um, sorry, but who are these Monday morning armchair critics? It sounds fun to be one – rolling into the office and politely asking what everyone got up to on Sunday before mercilessly roasting their choices.

“Your two-year-old’s birthday party? lol. You should’ve ditched her, went to brunch and then posted about it on Insta so she could see what better plans look like.”

How was Albo faring through all this? He seemed kinda bored. That’s probably why he reached into his pocket and just started counting loose change.

Prop glasses and a prop coin.

The opposition leader brought a prop to the debate. Genius. We’re impressed with the effort – especially because no one carries cash these days. Albo would’ve had to have gone to an ATM, withdrawn a $20 note, then walked around trying to find a 7-11 just so he could buy gum to get some coinage. This kind of dedication is a quality that’s vital in a leader.

It was around this point that game show host Mark Riley teased the million dollar question.

“After the break, the question that could stump them both!” he promised as the music amped up.

Quite the sizzle. The question sounded like it was gonna be a real head-scratcher. Like, “Would you rather be seen driving a Nissan Cube or a Kia Picanto?”

The curve ball thrown at our leaders? They were instructed to say something nice about each other – like two little kids in preschool who’d just gotten into a fight and were then forced to apologise by the teacher.

Play nice, boys.

ScoMo was up first.

“He has never forgotten where he has come from,” the PM mumbled, begrudgingly referencing Albo’s housing commission childhood.

But he didn’t stop there. An entire day spent issuing “loose unit” sledges had revved him up. Perhaps that explains why he misunderstood the basic assignment of this final question and failed to prove he could just be a good guy.

“ … But you know, to do this job you need to know your stuff. You need to be across the detail. You need to not make things up on the run and you can’t be loose on the economy,” he proceeded to insult Albo.

“As much as I respect what he has been able to achieve, I just don’t believe that he has been able to demonstrate that he is able to get across the detail to do this job.”

What Mr Morrison served up was a crap sandwich. But Albo wasn’t gonna eat it. He knew there was one way to respond that would turn the tables on the PM.

He gave a bland and respectful answer – detailing something he admired about the PM and refusing to get in a single dig about his rival as payback.

“I have no barbs,” he smiled.

As the camera panned across to ScoMo, our leader shifted sheepishly behind his lectern and tried to back-pedal by saying he thought the question was to state both a compliment and an insult about his opponent.

“I must’ve misunderstood the question,” he mumbled.

Jeez, Scott. How can you run a government if you can’t even understand a simple question on The Chase? To make a mistake like that, you’d have to be a real loose unit.

“Gentlemen, thank you very much for your spirited and very civil exchange,” the game show host wrapped things up.

Huh. Civil. A really polite synonym for the word “boring”.

As the game show music faded up and the blue and red laser lights flashed, our leaders knew there was only a few seconds left to impress the Australian people. So they tried to one-up each other with their thankyous.

“Thanks to you, and to Seven for hosting,” Albo said.

Scott jumped in. “Thank you Seven. Thanks everyone for watch-.”

“Thanks,” Albo said again as the camera cut to black.

No, gentlemen, thank youse.

Twitter, Facebook: @hellojamesweir