Australian Defence Force sex abuse survivor Ken McIlwain tells his story on The Project

THE Project was left in shock as an ex-member of the Australian Defence Force told of how he was allegedly raped by two sailors.

THE Project and its viewers were left in shock as a former member of the Australian Defence Force told of how he was allegedly raped by two sailors while in the navy.

Ken McIlwain, 60, appeared on the show, where he told of his horrific experience in the navy in the 1970s.

Mr McIlwain is telling his story now while taking legal action against the navy over alleged wrongdoing at a Royal Australian Navy technical college in Sydney.

The Royal ­Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse is also hearing “the experiences of men and women who were sexually abused as children in certain divisions of the Australian Defence Force”.

He described how he was allegedly abused after about a year after he joined, when he moved into a new set of barracks, and he would do the ironing for one of the seniors.

He recalled one time when he the ironing up and expected to be paid a small amount of money to do it.

“But this time he... He grabbed me and threw me on the bed and... And, yeah, had oral sex with me and told me that was my payment,” he said.

“And there was also someone else in the room, I noticed. And then he pushed me out of the room and said, you know, ‘when I went my ironing done, you make sure you bring it’. That continued. This went on for a fair while.”

Mr McIlwain said he went to a medical officer and told him he had problems with his bottom and pains in his stomach, but it fell on deaf ears.

“He just said it was like anxiety from my father, who was a bit of a drunken abuser. The second and third time I went back I told the medical officer what had been happening, that I was being raped, and they just kept giving me bottles of Valium.”

Mr McIlwain said on the final occasion he was raped, he felt “embarrassed” and “ashamed”. It led to him attempting to take his own life.

“I went down to the shower, I was washing myself, and I suppose I was embarrassed, and... Just ashamed, “ he said.

Ken McIlwain telling his story on The Project. Picture: Network Ten

“And at that time I decided, you know, I am not going to get away from this, so I went and got a can of Pepsi, and I had three bottles of Valium left, so I remember counting them, and there was 72. I took the whole lot to commit suicide, because I was happy to go. I mean, there was no way... There was no way I could get out of it.”

He said he was later put in hospital and sent to a psychiatric ward for a couple of months.

Choking back his tears, Mr McIlwain said his father beat him when he tried to tell him about being sexually abused.

“He told me I was a liar and I was just... you know... just being stupid and, from that day I said I would never tell another soul, because the only person that believed me was God,” he said.

Looking back, Mr McIlwain said it affected his life for 40 years after it occurred. He recalled the days when he used to collect Sapoderm soap that he used to wash myself after every rape.

“I remember I used to go to Woolworths and instead of buying like one of two cakes I would buy the whole shelf. My wife used to think I was strange. I used to check them in case I ran out,” he added.

But after speaking out, Mr McIlwain encouraged others to do the same.

“I just hope there is other people out there, right now, other defence people, who see me tonight and say, ‘Goodness me. I am going to speak about it’, because you need to. You know, at one stage I thought I was stupid for coming out. But now I’m not.”

He also said the Federal Government and the ADF needed to do their part and “own up” for the sake of the victims.

“We also need the Government and these institutions to just own up, just speak the truth. Admit there was something wrong. Admit there was something wrong. Admit that we copped it.”

Bickmore agreed with him, saying: “He is right, the truth needs to be spoken. For people like Ken. Hearing him say he just has to manage the triggers. He shouldn’t have to manage any. It is so incredibly unfair he spent 40 years of his life dealing with something he had no control over.”

For help with emotional difficulties, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or www.lifeline.org.au