‘Another message to kill myself’: Bullying story that shocked Thorpie

DAY in, day out, Kelsey endures sickening, relentless bullying. They call him a “stupid idiot” and tell him to kill himself.

THEY call him a ‘shemale’, a ‘stupid idiot’, tell him to kill himself.

Day in, day out, Kelsey hears it. “It’s like poking a bear”, he says: ‘it hurts you or you hurt it’.

Kelsey’s story is at the forefront of the first instalment of controversial ABC documentary Bullying, hosted by Ian Thorpe. While Thorpe has shouldered the lion’s share of publicity for the show, 14-year-old Kelsey’s heartbreaking experience which saw him reduced to limited class hours and spending lunch breaks in the office will raise plenty of debate.

The Queensland teenager’s almost disembodied voice as he reports on the day’s events via a video diary he kept in addition to carrying an undercover camera in his backpack is almost frightening.

“I received another message telling me to kill myself ... kill slash harm myself,” he says.

“Sometimes by random people that I have no idea who they are. Even though I ignore it does hit deep down, really”.

It started, way back in primary school, with his long, blond hair.

Back then he took it. The family even took an extended trip of more than a year around Australia, hoping when they returned and he started high school, things would be different.

They weren’t. From day one, it got worse, extending to cyber-bullying, physical abuse, ostracism, and homophobic comments.

Kelsey retaliates, usually with foul language and disruption.

“I received another message to kill myself,” Kelsey says. Picture: ABC

It’s a cycle that has seen him put on reduced class hours to limit his contact with students, and his desperate father Rick is angry and ready to “pack up the trailer again”.

Kelsey, he says, is “on a limited school timetable while those that are doing the bullying are still at school full time. It just doesn’t seem right”.

His father has seen his son change from “a happy, outgoing kid to someone so far inside themselves to continue at school isn’t going to be an option for him”.

“If it doesn’t stop we pack up the trailer and we take off again because we can’t live like this.”

Kelsey has been “living like this’ for five years.

“I don’t much trust any people any more given the amount of times people have abused the right of being trusted.”

Lunchtimes are spent in the office “away from everyone because I feel safer” and “to stop myself getting in trouble”.

“Given the short temper I have if someone does try something. I tend to fight back or argue and get really aggressive quite quickly,” he says.

Cricket-lover Kelsey and Ian Thorpe. Picture: ABC

“They call me ‘shemale’, stupid idiot, I get told to kill myself, but I’m quite used to it now.

“I don’t know why people feel they have the right to touch others. I’ve had it happen to me so many times it’s just like kinda normal now.”

One in four kids in Australia are bullied regularly, according to the program, which also highlights the difficulties faced by those trying to get it stopped.

Thorpe runs the gamut of education department restrictions and Kelsey faces the prospect of being disciplined for carrying the camera.

Beyond the red tape comes the frustrating reality for many — schools unable to deal with a problem they often do not know the extent of, frustrated parents saying schools don’t listen, and school students who admit once they view Kelsey’s footage they didn’t know the extent of the problem, and if they did, were hamstrung to do anything about it.

“At our school if you don’t bully people you get bullied,” one student says.

Producers are adamant the documentary is not about blame. The documentary was filmed in Queensland, where hidden-camera footage is legal; the voices and images of the bullies in the footage are disguised and they’ve stringently applied duty of care restrictions including blurring even Kelsey’s face until the show airs.

The vagaries of the school system, bureaucracy and excuses which have frustrated Kelsey’s father for so long means Thorpe’s push for Kelsey to show his tape to his fellow-students and teachers took six months.

Some of it happens off camera, behind closed doors. Some happens on-camera, on a voluntary basis only, and strict restrictions on filming.

What shouldn’t be voluntary is airing Bullied shown in all schools. That should be compulsory.

Bullied airs Tuesday March 14 at 8.30pm on the ABC

Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800. Young people and their parents can also turn to ReachOut.com

Bullied host Ian Thorpe. Picture: ABC