Inside Mac Miller’s tragic struggle

THE RAPPER ex boyfriend of Ariana Grande died of an overdose on Friday after years of struggling with depression and substance abuse.

MAC Miller’s death on Friday rocked the music world and prompted an outpouring of grief from music fans.

The rapper ex boyfriend of Ariana Grande died of a suspected overdose after years of struggling with substance abuse and depression — a battle which also served as inspiration for his music.

Born in Pittsburgh, Miller became an overnight sensation in 2011 after the release of his debut album, Blue Side Park.

But Miller told Complex in 2013 that the pressure of a 2012 tour and his debut record getting panned by critics saw him begin using ‘lean’ — a mix of codeine and promethazine — to self-medicate his depression.

Mac Miller died on Friday of a suspected overdose. Picture: Owen Sweeney

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“I was not happy and I was on lean very heavy,” he said. “I was so f**ked up all the time it was bad. My friends couldn’t even look at me the same. I was lost.”

In 2014 Miller independently released mixtape Faces — a record he later toldBillboard was “super depressing”.

In Faces Miller spoke frankly about using cocaine, angel dust and codeine and rapped that “a drug habit like Philip Hoffman will probably put me in a coffin”.

After releasing the more upbeat GO: OD AM in 2015, Miller admitted to Billboard he was using less drugs after becoming concerned it would kill him.

“It just eats at your mind, doing drugs every single day, every second. It’s rough on your body,” he said.

“That was the plan with Faces’ [closing song]. Grand Finale was supposed to be the last song I made on earth. I don’t feel that way as much anymore.”

In a 2016 interview Miller gave to music website Fader the rapper also discussed his desire not to die from drugs like other famous people.

Mac Miller became reliant on codeine after his overnight success. Picture: Owen Sweeney

“I’d rather be the corny white rapper than the drugged-out mess who can’t even get out of his house,” he said.

“Overdosing is just not cool, there’s no legendary romance. You don’t go down in history because you overdosed. You just die.”

The rapper also revealed that he hated being sober and had sought other drugs after marijuana use left him on edge.

“At one point weed didn’t relax me from everything, it made me more paranoid about all the s**t happening,” Miller said.

“I needed to get a drug that was little bit more numbing and less in your head. So yeah I think that is really what sparked me doing other drugs because I hate being sober, I wanted a drug to do.”

It was in 2016 that Miller began dating Grande, the couple collaborating on his fourth studio album The Divine Feminine.

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Mac Miller has rapped extensively about his drug use. Picture: Owen Sweeney

Miller and Grande split in May this year after dating for two years, with the singer getting engaged to comedian Pete Davidson a month later.

A week after their breakup, Miller was arrested for allegedly crashing his car while drunk and then fleeing the scene.

Despite media reports claiming he had struggled following their split, Miller toldZane Lowe in July that he was happy for Grande.

“It’s strange. Like, the whole thing is a little strange but it’s not negative,” Miller said. “It’s just a part of something that’s going to continue to help make me who I am. You know, it’s all positive energy. I am happy for her and moving forward with her life just as I’m sure she is with me.”

Speaking toRolling Stonea month later Miller insisted his heavy drug use was in the past.

“If a bunch of people think I am a huge drug addict, OK. Cool. What can I really do? Go talk to all those people and be like ‘Naw man, it’s really not that simple?’” Mille said. “Have I done drugs? Yeah. But am I a drug addict? No.”

Ariana Grande and Mac Miller dated for two years

A makeshift memorial to late rapper Mac Miller. Picture: Katharine Lotze

The day before his death, Miller spoke about his new album Swimming and how he struggled to cope with the spotlight.

“There’s pressure. A lot of times in my life I’ve put this pressure to hold myself to the standard of whatever I thought I was supposed to be, or how I was supposed to be perceived,” he told Vulture.

Miller, real name Malcolm McCormick, was found dead at his San Fernando Valley home in California on Friday.

According to TMZ a male friend had phoned 911 for help but the rapper was pronounced dead when paramedics arrived.

Miller had been set to go on tour next month and just hours before his death had posted an Instagram story showing a vinyl record playing lyrics from his song So it Goes.

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