Something’s missing from the Fifty Shades of Grey film

STAR Jamie Dornan has revealed there’s something missing in the upcoming film adaptation of saucy novel Fifty Shades of Grey — and it may upset fans of the book.

BRACE yourselves, Fifty Shades of Grey fans. There’s one very important, ahem, ‘character’ from the book who won’t be appearing in the upcoming film.

The big screen adaptation of E.L. James’ novel, set for release on Valentine’s Day next year, will feature no full frontal nudity from male lead Jamie Dornan, who plays business magnate and BDSM enthusiast Christian Grey.

This is despite the sexed-up novel, which has sold over 100 million copies worldwide, spending much of its 500-plus pages focusing on vivid and colourful descriptions of Grey’s nether regions as he embarks on sexual escapade after sexual escapade with the young Anastasia Steele.

Those expecting similarly graphic depictions of sex from the film will have to look elsewhere, Dornan said in a recent interview with the Guardian.

Jamie Dornan (Christian Grey) and Dakota Johnson (Anastasia Steele) on set.

Their game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey took a weird turn.

“You want to appeal to as wide an audience as possible without grossing them out. You don’t want to make something gratuitous, and ugly, and graphic,” he said.

“Sam [director Taylor-Wood] is a very bright woman, so there might be some suggestive elements to it, but I haven’t seen it at this stage, so it is hard for me to say. I’m aware of what we shot, and it wasn’t as if we shot a film without any action.”

While Dornan isn’t sure what exactly has made it into the film, he could confirm that one thing wouldn’t be making an appearance.

“There were contracts in place that said that viewers wouldn’t be seeing my, um … my todger.”

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Fifty Shades fans — we did try to let you down genitally. Hopefully you can still find it in yourselves to tackle the film.