We need to talk about Queen Elizabeth’s purple hand

Two pictures, taken two weeks apart have revealed something inescapable that none of us is ready to deal with — but is coming nonetheless.

Have you ever heard of Cornelia James?

You and I might not have, but if you are a woman who a) knows exactly how the Queen likes her Gin and Dubonnet and b) had to put a coronet next to your husband’s name in your phone then there is good chance you are c) a Windsor and therefore know Cornelia James’ number by heart.

That’s because, for years, the Queen and other female members of the royal family have been buying their gloves from this brand. And gloves, after hats, are surely the most ubiquitous yet redundant accessory that royal laydeees get to spend their waking hours wearing.

Which makes it all the more curious that the Queen, a woman who can rightly wear gloves whenever she damn fancies and not raise an eyebrow, decided last week to pose for a photo with King Abdullah and Queen Noor of Jordan with bare hands, thus revealing a massively bruised left hand.

This image of the Queen's hand made headlines around the world. Picture: Getty

News of the curious injury instantly made headlines around the world.

Buckingham Palace is yet to comment on what might have caused the huge purple mark however, the symbolism of it could not have been clearer.

The image of the Her Maj’s hurt hand was a particularly dignified and regal memento mori. She is, after all, 92-years-old and while her mother lived to the age of 101, there will come a day when she too will head to the Great Trooping of the Colour in the Sky.

And yet, she is not the only royal whose paws we need to talk about.

Last month, Prince Charles took a break from reading Goethe to his organic highland sheep (I’m guessing) to attend a function for his Prince’s Trust. There he was photographed looking quite delighted to meet a slew of British morning television stars and Geri Horner (nee Ginger Spice) while clutching a drink.

But the really eye-catching feature was his hands. They appeared very swollen and red, like chorizos that had been relentlessly boiled. Take a wander through photo agency Getty’s archives and you will start to see that for the past couple of years his hands have been getting more and more puffy.

Charles’ hands seemed red and swollen when he met Geri Horner last month. Picture: Chris Jackson — WPA Pool/Getty Images)

Now I am not a doctor, despite the significant number of hours I log on WebMD. Also, Charles’ ruddy paws could be caused by nothing more sinister than a minor allergy to potting mix or a result of Camilla’s penchant for using discount hand soap in the downstairs loo.

However, again, the pictures were a reminder that Charles is no spring chicken.

In November, he celebrated his 70th birthday with great fanfare and overnight the royal family will gather en masse to mark 50 years since he was made the Prince of Wales.

Both of these sets of images, of the Queen and her son, are a gentle warning that no matter how much we love Lizzie (and okay, I have a pretty big soft spot for Charles) they are both getting on in years.

Charles’ hands have been looking worse for wear these days. Picture: Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images

Charles has also taken to walking with a stick. Picture: Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images)

We often seem to forget that Liz is 92 years old because she always seems to be jumping behind the wheel of a Land Rover or riding her horse or remonstrating Prince William on Buckingham Palace balcony.

And we seem to forget that Charles is now technically a pensioner because he has spent five decades waiting to get the job he was literally born to do (rather than, say, having to settle for spending one’s days opening municipal swimming pools, marketing organic oatcakes and opening bottles of Gordon’s gin for the wife.)

No matter how the coming years play out for both Her Maj and her ridiculously patient son, at some point the Crown will change hands.

Make no mistake — the Queen is a very old woman. Picture: Tolga AKMEN / AFP

We all largely live in denial that Liz’s glorious reign of corgis and deep love for lime green will come to an end. However, there is no denying the sad inevitability that one day in the not too distant future, the Queen’s private secretary Sir Christopher Geidt will call the Prime Minister and will utter the four code words that will mark the end of an era: “London Bridge is down”.

While the passing of the Queen or Charles would be terrifically sad for many reasons, the one aspect of it that fills me with the greatest heartache is the fact that it will mean that Prince William is one step closer to the job he does not want but will be forced to take on — being King.

Wills clearly loves his current life of doing the occasional school run and teaching George how to correctly handle a polo mallet. His ambivalence, if not deep foreboding, about becoming monarch has been made clear over the years.

The threat of a crown coming to rest on his head has always been a heavy burden for William. Picture: Richard Stonehouse/Getty Images

It would be tragic if history repeats itself and, as in the case of the Queen, a family death meant he was torn away from his young family to have to open parliaments, sit for portraits and to knight 80s pop stars.

No matter what happens, this last week was a reminder that the day will come when we pick up a $5 note and it won’t be Lizzie staring back at us.