Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s mortifying U-turn exposed

The Duke and Duchess have dramatically reversed their position, according to a new report, leaving King Charles to make a savage decision.

COMMENT

Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have decided what they want for Christmas this year. Not a year’s supply of fresh turmeric, or his brother Prince William’s manhood delivered on a silver salver, or guaranteed funding for their new charity that hosts dream workshops for the homeless.

Ready? It’s a corker, I’ll tell you.

The Sussexes have supposedly decided they want a slap up Christmas with all the royal family at Norfolk monstrosity and festive season HQ, Sandringham.

Just imagine the scene: A cavernous drawing room; the sofas, aristocratically tatty; the Turners, multitudinous; the atmosphere so tense it would make the Treaty of Versailles seem like a doddle. Drink would be flowing freely, the dogs would be on edge and Queen Camilla would be wondering if it was too late to fake an allergic reaction to a scotch egg. And into this scene, the Sussexes would walk in, beaming positive light and forgiveness to a bunch of people with abnormally long memories and who still have the keys to the Tower.

Prince William, Kate Middleton, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry on Christmas Day 2018. Picture: Stephen Pond/Getty Images

Meghan and Harry fancied a traditional family Christmas at Sandringham House with the fam.

Harry and Meghan’s sudden interest in returning to the UK comes via a blinder of a new report from the Times’ royal editor Roya Nikkhah who has revealed that the Sussexes, nearly four years after cutting the Buckingham Palace Palace chord, want back in, at least briefly.

King Charles, for his part, has failed to readily accept the Sussexes’ about-face.

A friend of the California ratepayers told the Times: “I can’t imagine the Sussexes would decline an invitation to spend time with His Majesty. As of yet, there have not been any invitations for the holidays.”

Nikkhah reports: “Friends of the Sussexes say they want to change the state of play, and would readily accept an invitation to Christmas at Sandringham, the King’s Norfolk home, or a summer stay at Balmoral, Scotland, where members of the royal family come and go in privacy and can easily avoid each other.”

Meghan and Harry reportedly want to change the state of play with the rest of the royals. Picture: Adrian DENNIS / AFP

“Readily accept”? What the dickens is going on? Next thing you know Meghan will be “readily” suggesting she and Kate, the Princess of Wales head off on a mums’ Soho Farmhouse weekend for a joint Reiki healing session and hers’n’hers mugwort colonics.

As far as climb downs go, the Sussexes suddenly wanting to, reportedly, spend Chrissy ensconced in the very bosom of the royal family, is the equivalent of having to gingerly and awkwardly reverse your way down Everest, backwards because you’ve changed your mind about summiting.

It was only in January this year that a thundercloud-esque Harry sat down with a parade of TV journalists to eagerly sell his memoir Spare and to paint the House of Windsor as a biased, uncaring lot, united in their hunger for good press, no matter the personal cost to their loved ones.

On the topic of a possible reconciliation, the Duke of Sussex said that the “door is always open” but “the ball is in their court”.

He told Good Morning America: “There’s a lot that I can forgive, but there needs to be conversations in order for reconciliation, and part of that has to be accountability”.

At that time, Harry was big on laying down lines in the sand like a small boy who’d just gotten a very large stick. He wanted, he told the Telegraph of the royal family, to “[try] to save them from themselves.” (Good of him, no?)

He also demanded they apologise to Meghan, saying, “You know what you did, and I now know why you did it. And you’ve been caught out, so just come clean”.

Prince Harry talked a good game on Good Morning America.

Really you have to give the lad points for a certain adolescent flare for the theatrical. (He sounds like he’s about this close to painting his bedroom black and getting into Nine Inch Nails for a spell.)

Spoiler alert: None of it worked. There has not been any sort of Palace Truth and Reconciliation Commission, no teachable moments, no emotional family conferences held via Zoom with the calming presence of Oprah moderating.

Buckingham Palace’s response to Spare was frostier than an outdoor loo in the Antarctic with them refusing to publicly comment. (That said, certain morsels about Windsor hurt oh-so-curiously ended up in the press.) All that talk of Harry’s about “accountability” and an apology got him precisely nowhere.

Which brings us to today, with the duke and duchess now reportedly hankering for a traditional Chrissie gathered around a locally-sourced spruce and a locally-sauced Queen Camilla.

I can’t even begin to process the cognitive dissonance here. Why have Harry and Meghan reportedly decided they want a British Christmas? Isn’t this the family that the Sussexes accused of unconscious bias? Of brutally ignoring Meghan’s mental health issues? Of feeding negative stories about the couple into the gaping maw of the press?

If we take all the charges that the Sussexes have levelled at Crown Inc at face value, why in God’s name would they even deign to cross the road to see this titled lot let alone fly ten hours, at no small expenses, and with two small children?

Parking these plaintive, confusing ‘whys?’ there is the question of the fact that, according to Nikkhah, His Majesty has turned down Harry and Meghan and their sudden, shocking yen for a royal Christmas.

The reason: Trust. Specifically, trust that whatever Princess Anne might say after her third postprandial port won’t suddenly end up on Good Morning America or in Harry’s next tell-all.

King Charles is said to have turned down Harry and Meghan’s Christmas wish. Picture: Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Nikkhah writes: “After so many royal secrets have been spilt by the Sussexes’ commercial ventures, the royal family continues to struggle with how any future reconciliations could remain private.

“That anxiety is only heightened at the thought of how much private information could be stored and later unleashed, from a Christmas at Sandringham or summer sojourn at Balmoral.”

The question of leaking has been at the heart of much of the last year’s hurly-burly, jumbled mess. Harry has accused The Firm of leaking stories about he and wife Meghan to Fleet Street (they deny it); he in turn wrote a book that mined decades of personal royal family details and then kept popping up on the tele to sell said book like a home shopping swivel-sweeper salesman.

Again, why would Harry and Meghan, based on the criticisms they have levelled at the royal family, want to go back and put themselves in that environment if there is a chance that courtiers might start whispering in the ears of tame journalists about how wonderful Charles is with Archie and Lili?

This Sussex Christmas situation makes about as much sense as the King tapping Princess Beatrice to take over his weekly Prime Ministerial audience. (‘Whaaaat? You don’t know the Colony Room Club Rishi? Oh you mussssst…’)

Maybe the duke and duchess just really want their kidlets to get to know their Grandpa. Archie and Lili have not spent any real time in the UK and the little princess has only ever met her British grandfather once. Once. Nor have the tots ever spent a Christmas with their British relatives. (“It is understood there is deep sadness on both sides of the Atlantic at this status quo,” Nikkhah has reported.)

Maybe all the couple wants are treasured memories and special family moments that will never end up streaming to paid Netflix subscribers.

Or maybe the Sussexes’ struggle to find their place in the Hollywood firmament is a part of this, a recognition that without the lustre of royalty they are two people whose talents and producing track record doesn’t quite match up to the astronomical sums they are being paid.

Or maybe, just maybe, deep down Harry really misses a decent roast and all the trimmings.

So far, Christmas has not come early for the Sussexes.

Daniela Elser is a writer, editor and a royal commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with a number of Australia’s leading media titles.