Lesson Meghan Markle should learn from Princess Mary

They’re two of the most famous royal women in the world — but Meghan keeps making the same mistake Aussie-born Mary never does.

Royal families: They’re just like us, on holiday at least. Petulant-looking teenagers are dragged to markets, kids want cheap junk to take home and someone is forced into a bucket hat.

This we know because Princess Mary and Prince Frederick have been spotted, along with their four kids, whiling away their time in the sunshine in the south of France.

What’s so striking about the photos of the family on vacation is how relaxed and ordinary they appear. In fact, to the untrained eye, they could be any other Scandinavian family soaking up precious vitamin D and forking out euros for souvenirs that will be forgotten the instant they get home.

A crown princess or a mum doing a spot of market shopping? Picture: MEGA

And therein lies the secret to the particular way that members of other European royal families answer the vexing question of how to balance public interest while maintaining a reasonable amount of privacy. When they’re out in public, they go about their day with very little fanfare, be it cycling their kidlets to school or ambling through a market.

It’s a markedly different approach to royal life than the one adopted by Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. For months now, privacy has been the family’s watchword, from Archie’s birth in early May to his July christening. When Meghan popped along to Wimbledon for an afternoon of sunshine and tennis, she was ostensibly there in a private capacity. So too did she visit New York in February for her six-figure baby shower, you guessed it, “privately”.

Meghan during her ‘private’ visit to Wimbledon. Picture: Mike Egerton/PA Wire.

It is entirely understandable that they would want to maximise their time away from the public glare, however, ironically, Harry and Meghan’s demands for distance have instead ramped up interest in them and generated a tsunami of opinion pieces, news stories and social media posts.

By explicitly stating from the outset that they expected greater privacy, they inadvertently made themselves more of an object of global obsession and debate. (It also had the added downside of making them seem aloof and secretive despite the duo’s warm and gregarious nature.)

Meghan and Harry’s demand for privacy has caused controversy. Picture: Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Contrast that with the M.O. of the leading royal houses of the continent who take a more strategic approach. For example, Mary and Fred semi-regularly doll out images of their clan, both the more formal and informal (if you consider kids probably forcibly pressed into crisply ironed shirts and starched floral dresses relaxed). While they might very occasionally get papped while on holidays, day-to-day they are largely left alone.

Ditto the Spanish royal family. Every August they decamp to the island of Mallorca, dutifully make the two young princesses smile for a very staged photo op and then are left to their own devices.

Last week, Queen Sofia, Queen Letizia and princesses Leonor and Sofia were photographed by an eagle-eyed shopper pursuing market stalls in the island’s capital of Palma. (What is it with the titled and the need to snap up trashy bargains?)

Three generations happily shopped, untroubled by the public or aggressively hounded by the media. Heck, they even posed for an Insta shot with one fan without even a hint of fuss or the blunt rejection based on the idea that they were enjoying “private” time.

The Spanish royal family posing for the press before enjoying a quiet holiday. Picture: Photo Jaime Reina/AFP)

Similarly, the younger members of the Swedish royal family this week posted images of little Prince Oscar and Princess Estelle on their summer holidays. The pics could have belonged to any family in the world taking their children to the coast for a getaway; gap-tooth smiles, giggling cousins and all.

While every parent clearly has the right to make the choices they deem best for their family, the low-key game plan adopted by Mary, Fred et al seems to be highly effective.

By adopting a more relaxed attitude towards the public interest in them, they in turn are actually able to afford their kids significant levels of normalcy and privacy in their everyday lives. (It might also, I’m guessing, make venturing out from behind palace gates into the wider world far less fraught and stressful.)

Come October, the Sussex family will be heading to South Africa for wee Archie’s first overseas trip and their first official tour as a family of three. The interest in the tiny tot will be colossal. This foray will be a significant test for Harry and Meghan as they attempt to navigate the difficult path they are trying to tread as both parents wanting to protect their son and as full-time working royals facing the demands of both the media and the public.

However, if they are looking for tips, there is one person I reckon they should get in touch with. Her name is Mary and she lives in Denmark.

Daniela Elser is a royal expert and freelance writer with 15 years’ experience who has written for some of Australia’s best print and digital media brands.