Joe Hildebrand: Double standard exposed by Queen’s death

The death of Elizabeth II has exposed a double standard in Australia’s — and highlighted outbursts and absurd claims.

History has a way of exposing hypocrisy. Historic events expose it in real time.

And so the death of Elizabeth II, the longest serving monarch of what was once the largest and most powerful empire on Earth, has pulled back the rug on a veritable buffet of bollocks, from breathtaking ignorance to laughable non-sequiturs to the most shameless double-standards.

Blinkered ideologues on both fringes of the political spectrum have embarrassed themselves with a compendium of unhinged outbursts and apparently considered commentary that is no less absurd. Let’s take a look.

First there were the predictable angry howls from the hard left that Elizabeth’s death should be welcomed because she was some kind of imperial tyrant who presided over colonisation.

In fact Elizabeth II presided over the greatest period of decolonisation the world has ever seen. Whatever the faults and atrocities of the British Empire, she was the Queen who reigned over its dissolution — and even that deliberate devolution of power was the decision of British politicians, not her.

If activists are really so hellbent on protesting the evils of colonisation they should be celebrating the death of Elizabeth I, which occurred in 1603 for those who can’t be bothered to Google.

Or those of a more modern bent might want to desecrate the memory of Queen Victoria, who presided over the British Empire at its apex before its long, slow 20th century decline.

And given the epicentre of Australian hard left politics is the state that was named in her honour, such anti-imperial socialists should surely not be complicit in the commemoration of genocidal colonialism by residing there. Perhaps the great African freed-slave state of Liberia would be a better fit.

I’ll wait.

Elizabeth II presided over the greatest period of decolonisation the world has ever seen. Picture: Adrian Dennis/WPA Pool/AFP

Then we have the more moderate republicans who have maintained a respectful silence on the Queen’s passing. This is both dignified and welcome.

The only slight anomaly is that several appear to have been quite vocal about how dignified their silence has been. Insert puzzled-faced emoji here.

And the right has been just as ludicrous.

Many have been almost competitively desperate to prostrate themselves at the tragedy of the Queen’s passing and the wondrousness of her reign.

And yet when Prime Minister Anthony Albanese announced a one-off public holiday to honour her death and legacy there were absurd claims from employer groups and conservative commentators that this would cripple businesses and be totally unworkable.

It seems some mourners can’t put their money where their mouth is.

Perhaps most staggering is that many on the left also objected, as the letters page in the former Fairfax papers attested. Heaven forbid employers would have to pay penalty rates! they lamented. Won’t somebody think of the casuals!

As a former workplace reporter of many years standing, I can reassure both employers and champions of the worker that businesses can still choose to operate, permanent employees will indeed be paid penalty rates if they work that day and that it is a pretty rare casual who only works in businesses that operate from 9 to 5 on weekdays. That’s why they get a higher hourly rate of pay.

Imagine a conversation between an Australian and a Ukrainian this week:

“What’s up?”

“Well, the Russians have invaded my country and killed my family and now I have to fight to the death. How about you?”

“Pretty pissed off. Our Prime Minister has just given us an extra public holiday.”

It would honestly be funny were it not so cripplingly earnest.

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese announced a one-off public holiday to honour Queen Elizabeth II’s death and legacy. Picture: NCA Newswire/Gaye Gerard

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are apparently upset that their offspring will not inherit the HRH title. Picture: Danny Lawson / Pool / AFP

And speaking of which, it is perhaps the thrilling reunion of Californian converts Harry and Meghan with the Old Dart which has provided the most spectacular opportunity for ultra elite-level hypocrisy of all. And as usual the quasi-royal couple did not disappoint.

This time, despite feigning to eschew all the privilege and trappings of dynastic life, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex — which they uncannily remain — are apparently upset that their offspring will not inherit the HRH title which they apparently so cherish but are unwilling to work for.

Only in Hollywood could such a laughably outlandish premise ever find its way into the public domain. It makes the plot of Michael Bay’s Transformer movies look like a BBC documentary.

So what does all this tell us about ourselves? I am pleased to inform you I have the answer: Absolutely nothing.

While all this sub-moronic incoherence from supposed intellectuals and would-be crusaders has been going on, the overwhelming majority of people in Australia — as it appears around the world — have met the passing of the Queen and the transition of the Crown with a combination of sorrow, solemnity and fascination.

Some, despite not having known her, are clearly genuinely grieved. Others have a respectful reverence for the history and tradition she embodied. And others still are simply captivated by one of the few global events not marked by war or natural disaster.

In truth, most of us are probably hovering somewhere between all of the above. And the good news is that the lunar probes who poke away in the outer reaches of idiocy will never be most of us.