Huge showdown between King Charles and Prince Harry over upcoming memoir

With a flurry of new reports in London about the Duke of Sussex’s memoir, Spare, the next showdown between the King and his son seems to be brewing.

There are only 55 days until Christmas this year, begging the question, what do you get a freshly installed King for a pressie?

He already has an army, navy, air force and religion of his very own, not to mention too many grand palatial homes to count and the entire Goon Show collection on VHS in mint condition. (It’s truly meant to be one of his favourite shows of all time.)

He might be particularly hard to buy for – though a new fountain pen is not a bad idea – but the man is in increasingly dire need of a jolly.

The 73-year-old might finally have been elevated to the throne after a lifetime of trying to get Brits interested in traditional hedgerow techniques, his oaten biscuits, and giving a damn about our melting planet, but less than two months into his reign His Majesty has already hit choppy waters thanks to son Prince Harry’s forthcoming book.

Come January 10, the royal’s debut book, the belligerently unsubtle Spare, will land. Even though that is, which is 71 days or one-and-a half Conservative prime ministerships away, already it looks like the fight for hearts, minds, and front pages has begun if the flurry of coverage in the UK over the weekend is any indication.

The cover of Prince Harry's upcoming memoir, Spare. Picture: Penguin Random House

First came a story in the Telegraph which quoted sources who sounded like they had just done a Joshua Tree ayahuasca retreat with the phrase ‘sacred healing’ in its name.

Harry, you see, according to this source, has only written his book because “you can’t kind of always live your life trying to make your family or your siblings happy,” and said “you have to choose your own happiness.”

Namaste indeed.

According to the report, the memoir is “a tale of family idiosyncrasies and struggles with which readers from all walks of life will identify” and per those who are “familiar with the manuscript” it is a “beautiful read.”

Sure, the duke is “aware” that his British family are braced for impact, fearing an explosion of personal “truth bombs,” however sources insisted that “the book is wholly different” to the palace strafing that was Harry and wife Meghan, Duchess of Sussex’s Oprah interview last year.

“The experience of addressing certain issues is said to have been cathartic for the Duke,” the Telegraph’s royal correspondent Victoria Ward reported. “And while the Duke is not blind to his family’s concerns, the rift between the two camps is now thought to be so deep rooted that any attempt at appeasement would have been considered futile.”

The thing there is once you get past all the catharsis, a process generally reserved for therapists’ offices and yurts, what this report looks like is someone, somewhere being particularly keen to butter up the book-buying public and to pitch this autobiography as less of an exercise in literary revenge that came with a stonking cheque and more of an emotionally courageous endeavour.

Meanwhile, Buckingham Palace sounds like its denizens are becoming increasingly nervy and are reportedly marshalling their forces.

Harry biographer and royal author Angela Levin has told The Sun that the royal family has “lawyers ready to read [Spare] but they won’t see it until it’s out” and that the Palace is on “tenterhooks.”

Charles is reportedly bracing for the bombshells that could be in Harry’s memoir. Picture: Jon Super / POOL / AFP

Then, there is the highly conspicuous lack of movement on the question of titles for the Sussexes’ two young children, Archie, 3, and Lilibet, 1. Why the delay in them officially becoming a prince and princess as they technically should be given their grandfather is now King?

Charles is reportedly keeping the title ace card up his sleeve in what looks like a sort of carrot-and-stick-in-one situation. A source close to Charles told royal biographer Katie Nicholl that the title situation “depends a lot on what happens in the coming months, particularly with Harry’s book and their TV show.”

If certain old Etonian brows are perspiring, that could be cause there are concerns that Harry’s book has been “sexed up,” according to The Sun, with his publisher, Penguin Random House, reportedly sending his first draft back to him because they wanted him to “revisit” some parts.

Who needs a Dodgy Dossier when you have a Dodgy Dad parenting-wise to write about?

A source has said: “The book has been back and forth between Harry and [ghost writer] JR Moehringer and the publishers a few times.

“There is a real concern that that means Harry has had to sex up the book and include revelations that even he might not even be that comfortable with.”

Clearly, no red pens were spared in the making of this book.

Last but not least, the Mirror has reported that the relationship between Harry and his family is “near rock bottom” and that inside the royal tent, “everyone is bracing themselves for yet another fraught and frantic period at the mercy of the Sussexes.”

British press is reporting relations between the Sussexes and the royal family are at “rock bottom”. Picture: Emilio Morenatti – WPA Pool/Getty Images

Okay, let’s all just take a step back here. Deep breath everyone. If you have a crystal to hand, clutch it.

For one thing, this is just the beginning. If the release of just the book‘s title and cover image (Harry shot so close up you can nearly count his nose hairs) can cause such a media paroxysm, then what in the name of the corgis are things going to be like come January?

Secondly, and more importantly, the way things are shaping up, it would appear that both sides are digging in ahead of the Spare bomb finally dropping, with one lot pitching the book as a “beautiful read” that helped Harry choose his own happiness while the other is reportedly readying the lawyerly and title levers.

All of this is before we even have the remotest of meaningful inklings about what might actually be in the book.

It’s hard to see how this year will be anything but a bit of a grim Christmas when the Windsors gather at Sandringham on December 24, their first without the Queen, and with the duke’s book hanging over them.

If ever there was a year that Charles needed a new pair of Spike Milligan socks or some onyx-handled secateurs to cheer him up, then this is it, because as His Majesty’s favourite Milligan famously quipped, “Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.”

Daniela Elser is a writer and a royal commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with a number of Australia’s leading media titles