‘Be better’: Princess of Wales’ Garter Day outfit exposes huge royal problem
The Princess of Wales turned up to a hugely important royal event this week – in one very controversial outfit that has sparked backlash.
On paper, the woman formerly known as Kate Middleton (and Party Pieces’ employee of the month) has none of the qualifications required to be a future Queen.
Her parents aren’t cousins, she is in no way related to the Margrave of Baden, her ancestors did not take sides in the Franco-Prussian War and she will be the first woman ever in the UK to possess both a crown and a university degree.
But boy, has the gal learnt how to fit in with her in-laws. She can shoot a gun, execute a perfect curtsy and now possesses vowels so crisp her aides are at risk of paper cuts.
Now, new photos have proven she has also picked up one of the absolutely worst royal habits going – which could threaten her current quasi-saintly status.
Monday in the UK saw the annual Garter Day take place in Windsor, which has less to do with a Vegas hen’s party and everything to do with a medieval chivalric order that dates back to the 14th century and the Hundred Years’ War (it was actually 116 years of fighting, but obviously the English were about as good at counting as vanquishing the French).
Every year on Garter Day, the 24 Knights or Ladies Companion to the Order of the Garter gather in Windsor for an event that includes a service at St George’s Chapel and a procession to and from the nearby castle.
And there, for the approximately 471st time of her royal career, was Kate doing her level best at making wearing a vertiginous hat seem like a doddle.
The snag here comes when we get to what the Princess of Wales wore, namely, a bespoke Alessandra Rich frock that looked like a leftover from an 80s stockbroker’s wife’s wardrobe and a bespoke Philip Treacy hat.
While the polka dot number was made specifically for the princess, a similar one will set you back about $2792, which is more than the average monthly mortgage payment in the UK.
(In fact, her whole outfit, including new shoes, bag, hat and gown, would have cost, based
on the prices of similar items, more than $6000).
Where we really hit “P” for “whopping great problem” is when you realise Kate has worn an estimated $17,957 worth of nearly identical or very similar polka dot dresses in the last few years alone.
Almost $18,000 just on spotty dresses?
That’s wasteful enough to put a gleam in even the extravagantly wasteful George IV’s rheumy eyes who, as Prince Regent, spent the equivalent of about $65 million in today’s money building himself a seaside bolthole.
For centuries the royal family has been squandering cash like they are worried someone’s about to sink the pound, with the last great exemplar being the Queen Mother who only drank vintage champagne and had a nearly $7.5 million overdraft when she died. (Queen Elizabeth joked of her mother’s spending, “Coutts would have folded long ago but for Mummy’s overdraft”).
But like fox hunting or Pol Roger being automatically plonked on the breakfast table of a morning, times they are a changin’ – except has Kate quite realised? Perusing Net-A-Porter for hours a day tracking new dotty dresses must really take up time.
For one thing, we are now in the reign of King Charles the Careful.
Despite being worth $1.1 billion, which is $430 million more than the late Queen, His Majesty is known for his thrifty ways.
His Majesty is in the midst of a massive round of cost cutting and budgetary fat trimming such that he must be going through red pens daily. (Here’s hoping Mont Blanc
offers express delivery).
Only nine months into his reign, the King has already slashed his brother Prince Andrew, the Duke of York’s allowance, shunted various former Buckingham Palace lackeys out of grace-and-favour homes, evicted the Duke and Duchess of Sussex from a country estate they visit as often as Prince Harry is allowed gluten, has given up his $2.2 million Welsh retreat and turned down the temperature on the Palace’s indoor pool to reduce energy usage.
He has also promised to return the share of the $1.8 billion windfall going to the Crown Estate that would otherwise end up in the royal purse and instead wants to give it back to Brits. Just call him the Lord Bountiful of Seabed Rights.
His Majesty is not being cheap, but smart.
One of the cudgels repeatedly used to have a go at the royal family is the cost. As of the last available accounts, the UK government forked out more than $161 million in the form of the Sovereign Grant for official royal working expenses (travel costs, Post-It notes etc).
Charles seems to be trying to head off this possible line of attacks (how very Hundred Years’ War of him) by trying to transform The Firm into a much sleeker, more economically efficient outfit rather than the galling symbol of excess it has been historically.
With the republican movement gaining a soupçon of momentum for the first time since Oliver Cromwell was the hot new chap on the block, Charles simply cannot risk the monarchy looking like a bloated, overindulged Augustus Gloop of an institution.
Rather, what he seems keen to instil is a real image of royal bang for public bucks. (There’s a Buckingham Palace joke in here somewhere but it eludes me …)
Therefore, Kate spending just shy of $18,000 on shockingly similar dresses – like some Marie Antoinette keen to show off her ankles – is the very last thing he needs. (That and Queen Camilla finding out where he keeps his still-in-its-wrapping Amex Titanium card).
Kate’s frock addiction also runs gratingly counter to what her husband Prince William is all about these days, namely his attempt to save the planet one feel-good solution and large cheque at a time.
For the last few years, the Prince of Wales has had huge success with his Earthshot Prize, a genuinely innovative and exciting project to inspire people to actually do something before the polar ice caps melt and Mayfair floods.
Leaving aside the fact that a man with three homes with nearly 20 bedrooms in total is intent on trying to solve the climate crisis, at least William is assiduously working to do something on this front.
Later this year, the annual Earthshot Prize will see a whole week’s worth of events play out in Singapore, making the prince the Greta Thunberg of the Garrick Club crowd.
For 2022’s prize in Boston, Kate rented a lime green dress, proving she is nothing but painfully literal at times, and for the first few months of this year she largely only wore pieces that were already in her wardrobe.
It looked like the princess was intent on supporting William’s objectives by recycling, re-wearing and reusing the vast, vast trove of bits and bobs that are kept in their own climate controlled archive. (Well, I hope so anyway).
Except now, Kate, with her Garter dress, has made all of that look a bit hollow and tokenistic.
The fact that she spent thousands of dollars on a dress nearly identical to one she owns – not to mention the eight others that bear a striking resemblance – is just the epitome of wanton wastefulness.
Buying thousands and thousands of dollars of new frippery, which is nearly indistinguishable from thousands and thousands of dollars of previously purchased frippery, when the King is on a savings drive, William is tracking carbon emissions on his office whiteboard, and the British public are suffering through the sucker punch of the cost of living crisis is … ridiculous.
Call Kate obtuse or overindulged or selfish for not giving a fig about the soon-to-be submerged penguins, but one thing I cannot call her Garter day get-up is smart.
This was a rare misstep for the princess, who has been playing a blinder of late with her Early Years Foundation taking flight and the ambitious social project gaining in academic and corporate support.
In the powerful words of noted thinker Melania Trump, be better.
Daniela Elser is a writer, editor and a royal commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with a number of Australia’s leading media titles.
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