Jennifer Aniston’s IVF and fertility struggles expose a disgusting truth

Jennifer Aniston’s IVF and fertility issues expose a dark truth about what she faced when was married to Brad Pitt and after.

OPINION

For the first time, Jennifer Aniston has discussed her fertility struggles, and it is a loud reminder to stop asking women about when or if they will have children.

Spoiler alert: If we want to talk about it, we will!

In an interview with Allure, Aniston opened up about being unable to have a baby. She said: “I’ve spent so many years protecting my story about IVF. I’m so protective of these parts because I feel like there’s so little that I get to keep to myself.”

Aniston’s admission was all the more heartbreaking because speculation about her having a baby has been a tabloid sport for decades. We’ve all seen the photos in magazines of the circle around her stomach with an arrow pointing to it and emblazoned with the word “bump”.

Usually, a photo like that would spawn plenty of articles claiming Aniston was pregnant and then eventually, when Aniston didn’t end up having a baby, those claims would be proven false.

tabloids FOR YEARS made up that she was pregnant and after this all time she never became pregnant because she couldn’t JENNIFER ANISTON DESERVES AN APOLOGY pic.twitter.com/ugfdQN7ft0

— nami :) (@anistonsgf) November 9, 2022

I probably don’t need to point this out, but I’ve never seen an arrow pointing to a male celebrity’s crotch with the words, “Fertile sperm?” A special kind of scrutiny is reserved for women in the public eye.

Rumours were rife around whether Jennifer Aniston was pregnant or not, especially when she was married to Brad Pitt. Picture: Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Interestingly, the mania surrounding Aniston’s fertility doesn’t seem that far away from the questions I deal with daily.

I’m not famous, and my hair isn’t nearly as lovely or iconic, but once you’re a woman over 25 and you have a partner, there’s no escaping the interest in your fertility. Suddenly, everyone in your family behaves like a tabloid journalist and you are treated like a celebrity, but unfortunately, still asked to wash up the dishes.

Forget being asked, how’s the weather? People go directly to: So, when will you have kids? Do you want kids? Have you had your fertility examined? Would you freeze your eggs? Do you make enough money to have a kid?

It’s an endless stream of invasive and prying questions that leave you feeling like you are being cross-examined, but instead of being in a witness box, you’re on your nan’s floral lounge drinking out of one of the glasses that aren’t reserved for a special occasion. (In my family, there’s never been a special enough occasion to crack open the good glasses, even my Grandpa’s funeral didn’t make the cut.)

Mary Madigan is often questioned about her plans to have kids. Picture: Instagram

As a woman, you are just meant to smile politely and dole out a line fit for a politician. So far, all I’ve managed to come up with is, “I’m in my selfish era,” or, “If you are so interested in my vagina, shall we discuss my last pap smear results instead?”

Usually, that stops people in their tracks. But I either come off as aloof or just plain rude. The truth is I feel backed into a corner, and like a cat it makes me want to lash out. (I promise I will discuss with my therapist how to stop behaving like a cat, in my own time and on my own dime.)

I haven’t tried to have children yet, but like most women, I’m worried it might be complicated or difficult or maybe even impossible, and the fact that people treat fertility like small talk makes me anxious.

Aniston’s fertility admission doesn’t make me feel better or worse; it just makes me feel deeply sad to know we have a very public example of how we shouldn’t be flippant about someone’s baby journey. You never know what anyone is struggling with privately.

So next time you want to ask the baby question, try thinking before you speak. Fertility can be a landmine of misconception, IVF, miscarriage, heartbreak or personal choice. So, please stop asking and speculating about women’s fertility. It is none of your bloody business. Jennifer Aniston deserved privacy and so do your mates, sisters, friends, aunties and any other person you know with a uterus.

Mary Madigan is a freelance writer