James Weir recaps the stars’ big issue with the Logies on the Gold Coast

IT WAS supposed to be a happy, fun night. But one new decision turned everyone off.

AFTER the Victorian Government became so embarrassed having its capital city marred by the annual Logie Awards it pulled funding, Aussie TV’s night of nights is currently pitching its tent in a more appropriate place: the Gold Coast.

That sounds condescending but it’s truly meant with affection. The Gold Coast is terrific. And it’s great to see the city finally being trusted with shouldering an esteemed event.

‘TOO GOOD’: Karl slams Sam and Kochie for snubbing Logies

Home to such legends as Schapelle Corby and that Heather girl from series three of The Bachelor, there’s really no better place to celebrate Australian television’s finest work this Sunday night.

Still, it seems no one really wants to go.

The decision to hold the Logies on the Gold Coast has been met with the same bitterness you throw at those friends for having a destination wedding.

“How rude to assume we just all want to go to the Gold Coast!” Georgie Gardner probably said to her husband over a glass of wine at the kitchen bench upon hearing the location.

“I mean, it’s not like we’d even choose to go there for a holiday,” Waleed Aly probably said to his wife Dr Susan Carland in a lengthy editorial over dinner.

“Are we expected to pay?” notoriously frugal Kochie probably said as Sam Armytage ignored him.

Even Gold Logie nominee Jessica Marais has pulled out of attending just days before the ceremony. She probably hadn’t even bothered booking a flight in the first place.

When you receive the Logies invite and it says it’s on the Gold Coast.

But it does appear ceremony producers are still desperately grasping at some scrappy remnants of razzle dazzle. They’re staging the broadcast at The Star Casino and Hotel and, honestly, it all seems a bit too la-di-da. Carrara Stadium is just down the road and if it was good enough for the crap fest that became the Commonwealth Games opening and closing ceremonies, it’s good enough for the Logies.

The setting would’ve also been a nice full circle moment for Australia’s favourite shock jock Johanna Griggs. Recreating the moment she set fire to the Commonwealth Games, she could’ve gone rogue midway through the ceremony and just started roasting local television stars.

“Do your Karl Stefanovic Uber phone call impression!” we’d scream from the canteen line while waiting for hot chips.

And just because not many notable people are going doesn’t mean to say the location is substandard. Okay, so Samantha Armytage and Kochie — the hosts of Australia’s number one breakfast TV show — aren’t going. That doesn’t mean anything. They’ve bullied Edwina Bartholomew into taking a Rex flight to appear in their place.

The Gold Coast is a glamorous and global town to host the Logies and our stars should consider themselves lucky because, if I was organising it, I would’ve selected somewhere even more regional just to annoy them all. The event and attendees will bring to the city a level of class and grace it hasn’t seen since Schoolies 2017.

When everyone lied and said they’d go to the Logies on the Gold Coast but you show up and no one else is there.

WATCHING

I’m watching EVERYONE and assessing them for Big Dick Energy. It has been extremely time consuming and I haven’t had time to watch normal things most people spend their time viewing like MasterChef. If you don’t know what Big Dick Energy is, prepare to be educated. Now, take the learnings and apply them to the people in your own lives.

READING

Has anyone not read Kanye’s New York Times profile yet? Please catch up.

LISTENING

I’m already over The Carters new album and I’ve moved onto Drake’s new one, Scorpion. It’s 25 tracks — one half rap and the other RnB.

And we’re still waiting for Tash Sultana’s debut album — out next month — but there’s a few tracks you can tease yourself with already. Apply a clay face mask, pour some wine and play Salvation on repeat while you walk around your house feeling fabulous.

I imagine Kochie will be doing just this on Sunday evening when he’s not on the Gold Coast attending the Logies.

Twitter and Facebook: @hellojamesweir

My new track ‘Salvation’. Watch the full clip on YouTube and you can listen on Spotify/Apple etc https://t.co/xlDYnXRrbi pic.twitter.com/z8U1T01wQb

— TASH SULTANA (@TASHSULTANAA) June 20, 2018