Olivia’s Wilde’s ex has been in two age-gap relationships but no one noticed

Olivia Wilde, Jason Sudeikis and Harry Styles is the love triangle we didn’t know we needed. But there’s one thing that everyone’s missed.

OPINION

Olivia Wilde’s 10-year age gap with Harry Styles has been so relentlessly talked about that it has made her more famous than any movie or TV show she’s ever acted in or directed. Probably because we like to define women by motherhood and relationships and Wilde has thrown out the rule book.

She’s left her husband, is sleeping with someone younger than her and focusing on her career while raising small children. Yes, it is not the 1950s, and yes, this is still considered scandalous.

Olivia Wilde is 38 and dating a 27-year-old heart-throb. What of it? Picture: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images/AFP

Naturally, men don’t have to face this kind of drama. How do I know this? Because the man Wilde is currently divorcing, Jason Sudeikis, is eight years her senior, and that fact has never been considered even mildly interesting.

Amazing, isn’t it? We are perfectly comfortable with age-gap relationships if the man is older, and if they are more powerful, that’s a bonus.

Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde had an eight-year age-gap but no one noticed or cared. Picture: Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images for Glamour

For example, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively are considered a golden couple with their 11-year age gap. But Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher were considered a joke with their 15-year age gap.

Plus, Sudeikis, is 47 and has been rumoured to be dating his Ted Lasso co-star Keeley Hazell, who is over a decade younger than him at 36.

Did you know that? I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t because their age gap isn’t seen as newsworthy or noteworthy. Wilde, on the other hand, is fighting tooth and nail to be heard over the noise surrounding her relationship, and this simply would never happen to a man.

She recently did a speech for the Elle Women in Hollywood event, saying: “It’s tempting to excuse ourselves from the burning hellfire of the misogyny that defines this business.”

Jason Sudeikis writes and stars in Ted Lasso. Picture: Cliff Lipson/CBS via Getty Images

He rumoured to be dating co-star Keeley Hazell, who’s 11 years his junior. Picture: Instagram

I understand the hype around Wilde’s relationship with Styles; it’s a bit different and straight from a trashy romance book.

Mother-of-two falls for the world’s most famous popstar – I can practically hear an author dreaming up different words for the popstar’s penis for the saucy sex scenes. (Actually, I should write this.)

Yes, I can understand the excitement at Wilde and Styles pairing, but it’s the character assassination that follows that highlights the double standards women experience. Wilde’s relationship with Styles has meant she’s spent most of the year trying to claw back control of her image.

Styles and Wilde did their best not to be photographed together at the Venice Film Festival in September. Picture: Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images

Wilde has spoken about people presuming she’s “abandoned” her children since she split with Sudeikis. There have also been rumours she couldn’t even concentrate on directing because of her on-set romance with Styles, which is why there are rumours star of the movie Florence Pugh is feuding with her. All of which Wilde has denied.

In comparison, Sudeikis’ ability to create his show Ted Lasso hasn’t been called into question or mocked online because of his relationship with Hazell. No salacious news articles have questioned whether he still sees his children because he’s caught up in a new romance. There’s no one leaking stories to the tabloid press alleging he betrayed his family by sharing a secret salad recipe with his much younger lover.

He is allowed to have a dignified and adult relationship and move on. Meanwhile, Wilde’s space is so bloody crowded that I’m surprised she can still breathe.

The difference is so stark that it is laughable. Well, laughable until you consider the misogyny women are up against and then you may just want to cry or vomit because it is so sickening.

The noise around Wilde’s relationship with the younger Styles has become much bigger than fun celebrity gossip. It has become about how we love to shame women who own their sexuality, don’t stay with their husbands, and kiss 27-year-olds instead of just packing school lunches.

Mary Madigan is a freelance writer.