Why aren’t people critical of geriatric Dads? Yet.. so quick to judge older mums

Hilary Swank recently welcomed twins in her late 40s and people are calling her “selfish”. It highlights a significant problem.

Why is it only Hilary Swank that is shamed? Picture: Instagram

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Hilary Swank has revealed that she’s given birth to twins at almost 50, and her Instagram feed is clogged with people accusing her of being “selfish” for choosing to have children so late in life.

Deep breath first, but why aren’t men ever criticised for this? Why are women the only ones slammed for having children later in life? Why... I mean, yes, sexism, but can we stop giving women separate standards to men – it is a little obvious in 2023.

It all kicked off when Swank, 48, revealed the birth of her twins, a boy and a girl, via Instagram.

“It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it,” she wrote, accompanied by a photo of her cradling her two newborns.

Among the good wishes and celebrity pals sending their love, people were quickly venting their disgust at Swank daring to have children so late in life.

“How deeply irresponsible to bring kids into the world at such an old age, just to fulfil some inner selfish desire for children. By the time your kids are in their 20s, both their parents will be in a nursing home or dead,” someone commented.

Hilary Swank had her twins at 48. Picture: Instagram

Hilary said it wasn’t easy for her to have children. Picture: Instagram

This kind of finger-wagging criticism is never directed at the men that have children later in life.

I am the daughter of a man who had me in his late 50s, and all the stuff that people fear for Swank happened.

He got sick when I was in my teenage years, and he died in my 20s, and it was awful, rigorous, gut-wrenching, and feels entirely unfair.

He was older and didn’t die young, but I lost my Dad young.

I don’t wish I had a different Dad, because I adored my Dad, but I do wish he had me younger and we had more time together.

Yet, I never heard my father get the kind of criticism that is levelled at Swank.

I’m sure people said things behind closed doors, but the general reception used to be that people seemed happy that he got to have a family all over again.

Dad wasn’t a celebrity, but I think that translates to how we treat male celebrities that have children later.

Sure, we might roll our eyes a bit at the growing trend of famous men getting older and getting younger wives and having families all over again, but I’ve never seen a famous man face mass disapproval for having children in his late 40s or early 50s and I come armed with examples.

Today’s Karl Stefanovic had three children from his first marriage, then married Jasmine Yarbrough, and had his fourth child Harper.

Stefanovic was 46, when Harper was born, and I have no memory of anyone calling him “selfish” for having a child late in life.

Kyle Sandilands and baby Otto as seen on social media. Picture: Instagram

Karl and Jasmine Stefanovic with daughter Harper.

Radio host Kyle Sandilands recently became a dad for the first time in 2022. He had a beautiful baby boy Otto with his partner Tegan, and once again, no one was expressing concern.

The list of older famous fathers is endless.

Comedian Steven Martin became a father in his late 60s. Actor Michael Douglas started his family with Catherine Zeta-Jones when he was 58.

Jurassic Park icon Jeff Goldblum had children in his early 60s, and actor Robert De Niro had more children in his late 60s.

Hugh Grant became a father for the first time in his 50s, and Bruce Willis decided to have more children in his 50s, after previously having three daughters with Demi Moore.

Willis’ youngest daughters Mabel, 10, and Evelyn, 8, are currently having to face that their Dad has frontotemporal dementia.

Alec Baldwin, who already had one daughter, married Hilarie Baldwin and started a baby-making factory they now have six children.

Jeff with his two children. Picture: Instagram

Michael Douglas with his young family. Picture: Instagram

I bet for plenty of people reading this they will be surprised to realise the ages of these men when they entered fatherhood or decided to add to their families.

Do you know why you were surprised? Because their late in life fatherhood wasn’t closely examined by the media to the point it wasn’t even a loud conversation.

I understand why people are critical of women that have children later in life, there are some very real facts to consider and I do worry it gives ordinary women false hope in terms of actually being able to carry a child at that age.

But that is a separate conversation, Swank doesn’t deserve the venom she’s getting for daring to be an older parent, we certainly don’t treat men like that.

My Dad was older when he had me and I paid the price as his child, but it is one I’d pay over and over again.

Here’s what it boils down to though. If men are allowed to be older fathers without being shamed well, I think women deserve the same right,

Can everyone just start treating Swank with the same curtesy we treated Kyle, Karl, Steve and the list goes on with.