‘Can’t do this’: Payne’s tragic life story

Liam Payne spent his childhood yearning for global superstardom, only for it to end up being what would lead to his tragic downfall.

Liam Payne, who at one point during his career was one of the most recognisable pop stars in the world, has tragically died aged 31.

While the rest of One Direction went on to enjoy successful careers outside of the band, Payne, who reportedly spending his final years “in crisis”, struggled to find a place in the music industry to fill, and was open about his struggles and difficult relationship with the spotlight.

The British singer, who leaves behind his child, Bear, whom he shares with British pop icon Cheryl Tweedy (formerly Cole), died after falling from the third floor of a hotel in Argentina, officials said on Wednesday 16 October.

Pablo Policicchio, the spokesperson for the Security Ministry of Buenos Aires municipality, said in a statement to the Associated Press that police were dispatched to the hotel in response to an emergency call about an “aggressive man who could be under the influence of drugs or alcohol”.

But what led Payne to such a tragic end? It all began in 2008 when he first appeared on The X Factor UK and was told he wasn’t yet good enough by judge Simon Cowell.

Two years later he returned and was eventually placed in a band with Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson. It was his big break, but also the start of a path that would eventually lead him to an early grave.

“I really struggle to say no because I don’t like to let people down,” he told Men’s Health Australia in 2017. “It’s in my nature.”

“At the start we couldn’t get past our own egos,” he later told The Guardian in a 2019 interview, opening up about his time in the band.

“Everybody had their own little thing – it was like having four older brothers.”

Payne, pictured with collaborator Jonas Blue, failed to achieve the success he had in the band as a solo artist. Picture: Supplied

He claimed to be “a bit more mature” than his bandmates, which he said was due to his focus and ambition for a career in show business.

A year later, the band shot to number one with What Makes You Beautiful, instantly drew comparisons with The Beatles, and went on to sell 70 million records over the course of five hugely success records.

Payne was open about his struggles with being part of such a successful pop group, and would go on to open up about his experience with burnout.

Just a year after their debut single had become a smash hit, Payne was already finding some aspects of fame brutal.

“I was like, ‘Oh, f*** this. F*** this s***,’” he recalled of a time in New York during an interview with The Telegraph. “There was a swarm of them and I just wanted a burger with my parents. I cried my eyes out. I thought, ‘I can’t do this,’ and really hated my life.”

“It sent me a bit AWOL at one point, if I’m honest. I can remember when there were 10,000 people outside our hotel. We couldn’t go anywhere. It was just gig to hotel, gig to hotel. And you couldn’t sleep, because they’d still be outside.”

Payne spoke openly about his struggles with addition. Picture: Getty.

After a whirlwind five years, the band eventually went on an indefinite hiatus and decided to explore solo opportunities.

Zayn Malik released a hugely successful solo project, Harry Styles became one of the biggest stars in the world and both Niall Horan and Louis Tomlinson went on to enjoy lucrative careers as touring artists.

Payne, however, after scoring a hit with his much maligned single Strip That Down, failed to recapture the success of his time in the band with each subsequent release.

“It was a little bit dark and twisted towards the end of it,” Payne told The Guardian of the band’s split. “But the last few shows were really beautiful moments because the pressure cooker had been let off.

“It was almost like counting down to holiday … we were going to wake up that Monday morning with no schedule.”

Things became tough for Payne, who decided to undergo therapy for more than two years after the band split.

“It was difficult at the start, because I didn’t really know anything about myself. It was a bit of a numb feeling.”

Payne and his ex-wife, Cheryl Cole, met in 2008 but didn’t start dating until eight years later. Photo: John Phillips/Getty Images.

With his career failing to light up the charts, music went on the back burner while Payne welcomed a child during a short-lived relationship with British pop royalty, Cheryl Cole.

The pair received criticism for their age gap, with many uncomfortable with the pair previously meeting when Layne had auditioned for Cole on X Factor.

As the years went on and Payne’s bandmates continued to enjoy success, the star was open about his struggles with alcoholism.

In June 2022, he appeared in a controversial podcast interview with social media influencer Logan Paul, where he made a number of outlandish claims about One Direction and his former bandmates.

Payne’s relationship with the rest of the 1D boys appeared to be fractured. Picture: Supplied

The backlash surrounded the interview with swift and intense, and Payne later apologised and before revealed that had checked into rehab.

“A lot of what I said came from the wrong place,” he said in a video shared to his YouTube channel. “I was so angry at what was going on around me and instead of taking a look inwards I decided to look outwards at everybody else, and I just think, yeah, I took it out on everybody else, which is just wrong, really.”

Despite regretting his remarks, he said the podcast interview helped him get “more of a grip on life and everything that was getting away from me”.

He eventually went on to celebrate a huge milestone, revealing in May 2023 that he had been sober for 100 days.

“It’s a great life and I have a lot of gratitude but there were definitely low moments that I’ll never minimise,” he said of his struggles in August last year.

“It’s just about having the right people around you at the right time and I was lucky to have people to watch my back when I was at my worst place and help me get the help that I need and not everybody is that lucky.”

Heartbreakingly, he went on to note that he was “lucky to be on the other side of it now and to have something to say and, like I said, it might change somebody’s life.”

Payne spent the final years of his life in crisis, a source who knew the former One Direction member told Page Six.

“Liam had been cycling through periods of ruinous behavior for a long time,” our insider shares.

“He was open about his struggles but tried to downplay them at times. His demons were much worse than he let on.”

In recent months, Payne had become under intense scrutiny on social media.

Videos taken during Payne’s time in One Direction were going viral that appeared to show him looking like the odd one out in the group. One viral video showed Horan, Malik, Tomlinson and Styles failing to make space for him to sit between them, with Payne eventually relegated to sitting away from them.

Payne’s ex, Maya Henry, made some shocking allegations about the singer in the months before his death. Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for Elton John AIDS Foundation,

It came after Payne was ridiculed for his appearance at Nial Horan’s concert, where he appeared to court attention from fans both at the show and outside his former bandmate’s hotel after a bizarre social media rant where he claimed they “needed to talk”.

The negative social media attention then continued to swirl after his ex, Maya Henry, opened up about her tumultuous relationship with the 31-year-old who she dated from 2018 to 2022.

Henry, 24, claimed Payne would constantly tell her he was going to die to “manipulate her” following their split.

“He would always message me ever since we broke up, (saying) ‘Oh, I’m not well,’” Henry alleged on The Internet Is Dead podcast.

“He would always play with death and be like, ‘Well, I’m going to die. I’m not doing well.’”