Actress Danniella Westbrook’s 30-year drug battle

Actress Danniella Westbrook’s drug use destroyed her nose and saw her weight plummet to 41kg — now she’s “one relapse away from dying”.

Lying in bed unconscious, Danniella Westbrook was shaken awake by her terrified teenage son, who feared she’d died from a drug overdose.

Tragically, the British former soap star, who was terrifyingly fragile and weighed just 41kg, started every day this way.

Despite desperate pleas from her children to get help, the mum-of-two refused. Instead, she used all the strength she had left to get her next fix.

Her coke addiction was so severe and made her look so dreadful her son was forced to check she hadn’t died every single morning.

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The depressing cycle of drug abuse, including 12 years sobriety before her relapse in 2014, meant there were times Danniella felt death was the only option.

Now 45 and five months clean, Danniella is backing The Sun Online’s End Of The Line campaign that aims to bust the myth that cocaine is a glamorous, consequence-free drug.

She is determined to kick the crippling habit for good and confesses: “I’ve got another relapse in me, but I don’t have another recovery.”

“It’s do or die for me. I know I’m one relapse away from dying.”

Danniella in March 2018. Picture: Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images

Danniella has been hooked on drugs since she was 14 after shooting to fame in the British soap EastEnders.

She went on to spend an estimated $400,000 on the habit and was so hooked she even admitted taking up to 5g of cocaine a day when pregnant with her son Kai — and even took the drug during labour.

Unable to escape her addiction after he was born, she asked social services to take her baby away from her.

“I could have killed him yeah, and my daughter when I was pregnant with her,” Danniella said.

“I tried for years to make it up to them by buying them things.”

She was later diagnosed as bipolar and deemed to be suffering from episodes of psychosis. Danniella says she began using cocaine to cope with her mental health issues, but mixing it with her medication proved catastrophic.

Danniella abused cocaine so badly her septum — the cartilage that separates the two nostrils — fell out.

Photographs of her collapsed nose were splashed across the papers as a very visible warning about the dangers of drug abuse.

Fans were horrified by photos of Danniella’s destroyed nose.

She had surgery to repair her nose in 2000 and managed to kick the destructive habit when she was 28 after going to rehab in Arizona. Happily married to then-husband Kevin, Danniella managed to stay clean for 11 years.

Sadly she fell off the wagon in 2017, turning to cocaine to cope with the pain caused by botched dental surgery.

“I was dabbing cocaine around my mouth and rubbing it in to numb the pain,” she said. “I had three operations in seven weeks. I’m an addict and the wheels fell off.”

Danniella was consumed by shame, and only a trip to the much-maligned Jeremy Kyle Show forced her to face her demons once and for all and go to rehab.

As she reflects on her year from hell, Danniella says: “If Jeremy hadn’t reached out to me I would be dead.

“When he saw me for the first time out of rehab he had tears in his eyes. I told him he’d saved my life.

Desperate for help, Danniella appeared on the notorious Jeremy Kyle show to open up about her drug abuse. Picture: Rex Features / Splash News

“I was six-and-a-half stone (41kg). I didn’t realise how bad I was. I looked like a 70-year-old woman — like I was already dead.

“Cocaine ruined my life. It hurt my health and stripped me of my personality and my self-respect and self-worth.

“When I was in the throes of addiction, nothing could stop me. I would have passed a lie-detector test to say I won’t take drugs today, but then in the same breath be on the phone to a dealer.

“All I cared about was drugs. I was just constantly trying to get money. It wasn’t about putting food on the table, it was all about getting drugs.

“I couldn’t see a way out. I thought the only way out was death. I would wake up in the afternoon and think if I got through until 6pm without using I’d be doing well.

“I thought about killing myself many times. I even tried suicide, last year. I felt like I’d done so much damage to my kids that they deserved better than to be tied to me as a mother.

“I kept thinking I didn’t want to live any longer.”

At the height of Danniella’s drugs hell she was kidnapped at gunpoint and gang-raped by drug dealers after failing to pay her debts.

A source revealed: “It is the worst incident that happened throughout the period when she was hooked on drugs. When she looks back and thinks about what happened, it fills her with horror.”

It was reported in 2016 she was held at a flat in South London for three days by three thugs in 1994 as a punishment for not being able to pay a dealer.

A source close to the star told the Sunday People: “It was nothing short of hell on earth for Danniella. It was the lowest point of her life. She was distraught but had no way of paying the money.

“Looking back, she can’t believe she let something like that happen.”

She reportedly waived her right to lifetime anonymity as a victim of a sexual attack so she could reveal the shocking details about the horror in her book Faith, Hope and Clarity.

“I can’t imagine the amount of money I’ve spent on drugs, but it’s cost me everything, it almost cost me my life,” Danniella said.

Danniella in surgery to repair her nose. Picture: Supplied

“I’d gone from being a famous actress, to being famous for being a drug addict,” she told us.

Against all the odds, Danniella has turned her life around — and it appears for good this time.

She’s shunned showbiz parties for a quiet life in the country with her dogs and farmyard animals as she continues her gruelling recovery.

In line with the 12 steps to sobriety, Danniella is making amends to those she hurt along the way — and is trying to build bridges with her kids.

“My son Kai used to come into my bedroom and shake me to see if I was breathing,” Danniella admits.

“The other day we were on the phone and he told me, ‘I’m so proud of you. I would have been so angry at you if you’d died while using’.

“He said he’s so happy that he can breathe now because he doesn’t have to worry about where I am or what I’m doing anymore.

Danniella as a teen soap star.

“He keeps saying, ‘I’ve got my mum back’.”

Danniella is now training to be a therapist so she can help other addicts.

“Maybe my purpose wasn’t about being famous,” she said.

“Maybe it was about going through what I’ve been through so I could go on to help other people and use my platform in a positive way.”

Danniella wants to use her experiences to help others. Picture: Ben A. Pruchnie/Getty Images

If you or anyone you know needs help, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyondblue on 1300 224 636

This story originally appeared on The Sun and was reproduced with permission