Carrie Bickmore’s pain: ‘I spent so many years feeling no hope’

THE Project co-host has opened up about the pain of losing her husband to brain cancer in 2010 — saying it “changes who you are”.

IT’S been nearly six years since Carrie Bickmore lost her husband to brain cancer, but not a day goes by when she doesn’t see him.

“Every time I look at my son, I’m seeing Greg — he looks so much like him,” she has revealed in this month’s The Australian Women’s Weekly.

Carrie married Greg Lange in December 2005, five years after his diagnosis, and had their son, Oliver, two years later.

The 35-year-old supported her husband through his treatments right up until his tragic death from the disease in 2010.

Carrie Bickmore with her late husband, Greg Lange.

Carrie says it felt like they were locked in a losing battle.

“It goes on for so long,” she said.

“There are periods of inactivity where you go for the MRI and there’s no change and you go, ‘Hey we can breathe for another six months’, but then, in the months leading up to the next MRI, you’re already fearing what that result is going to be. It’s just a cycle and it goes round and round.”

The worst part is, it’s not just the body that is affected. As Carrie tells AWW, it actually changes who you are as a person.

“It changes your ability to dream, to look forward... I spent so many years feeling no hope — like,no hope,” she said.

There is no cure, so sufferers and their families just have to play the waiting game.

“I can’t pretend to be the one suffering, I was just watching someone suffer for 10 years,” Carrie said.

These days, the mother of two is looking to raise $1 million toward brain cancer research, and she’s well on her way.

Since she famously introduced Carrie’s Beanies 4 Brain Cancer during her Logies acceptance speech, it’s already raised well over $500,000, first with the BrainBeats music festival in Melbourne last year (featuring Vance Joy and Ed Sheeran), and with a range of fashion beanies for sale online.

Carrie says she never imagined her project would take off like it did.

“I never would have thought saying something just so close to my heart was then going to throw people into action,” she said.

“There are many complexities to the job that I do, but one of the upsides is that I can use my voice for good, and I do feel like I have a responsibility to do that.”

The August issue of The Australian Women’s Weekly is on sale now.