This year’s Logie Awards were the most bogan ever

A TRADIE won the top gong and someone accepted an award in thongs. But that was just the tip of the iceberg for this year’s bogan ceremony.

“THAT’S going straight to the pool room.”

It’s official. We live in a country where a tradie can win the most auspicious award in television.

After claiming the Gold Logie (in a major win for Channel 9 and 40-year-old housewives and a major loss for all 15-year-old girls who voted for Home and Away’s Steve Peacocke) Scott Cam then announced he planned to turn the Logie into a bottle opener and no one batted an eye lid.

I love our country.

Other noteworthy winners also included a cross dressing male (Chris Lilley, Most Popular Actor, Ja’mie, Private School Girl), a bunch of bogans (Housos, Most Outstanding Light Entertainment Program) and horses (Melbourne Cup, Seven, Most Outstanding Sports Coverage).

True story.

Scott Cam, a tradie, won the biggest award of the night.

And people wonder why some of our country’s most ‘popular’ ‘actors’ don’t make it overseas.

The 2014 Logies were, without doubt, the most Aussie Logies I have ever watched. (Wait, did I just admit I watch the Logies every year?) And by Aussie I mean massively-bogan-slightly-cringe-worthy-and-yet-oddly-hilarious.

Hosts mentioned pinching women on the bum and snorting no-doze. Numerous people were stoked they were ‘allowed’ to get drunk when they lost their award.

And the best part is — all of it was all shown on national television. None of that was edited out. HILARIOUS!

As always there was a show that caused a major upset and the winners were seated so far back the organisers had to factor in an extra ad-break to give them time to get to the front to accept their award (READ: HOUSOS).

“Housos” won a Logie. Know much about that show? No, us either.

Though, there were some legitimately great awards and speeches. Peter Overton’s speech while accepting the award for Most Outstanding News Coverage for the NSW Bushfires was my highlight for the evening. It was genuine and heartfelt. He also wasn’t drunk and he didn’t mime (Kylie I’m looking at you) so that helped too.

Asher proved you can channel a 50 Shades leather look and still pin two awards. Girl power at its best. (Seriously hun, what happened? Last year you looked amazing.)

The memoriam section and the touching induction of Peter Harvey (Cannnnbrraaa) to the Hall of Fame were done well and with appropriate respect; a stark contrast to the rest of the evening.

Dannii and Kylie were once again together at the Logies but there was a lack of sisterly love shown. Let’s face it, miming a duet wouldn’t have taken THAT long to organise.

The NRL Footy Show must have forgot that it was the AFL’s turn in the year-about awards and took Most Popular Sports Program for a second year running. (GO TEAM NSW!)

Accepting an award for Home and Away (Most Popular Drama Series) Ray Meagher tried to say that critics should stop criticising Aussie drama because some of their previous cast have now made it big in Hollywood. Mate, we all love Chris Hemsworth but we even pay him out for his beginnings. Though, for the most part I think Ray should be more worried about people criticising his acting on the Snickers commercial.

Ray Meagher looked flamin good in his tuxedo.

Better Homes from Bunnings and Gardens got a nod for Most Popular Lifestyle Program, as did the biggest bromance on TV, Hamish and Andy’s Gap Year Asia for Most Popular Light Entertainment Program.

I’m surprised Carrie BRickmore (sorry Kylie, that name will now stick) didn’t win gold; after all she looked like a human Gold Logie in her stunning Paolo Sebastian gown (no really, I actually loved it but she was channelling human-award-lookalike I’m sure of it).

When we aren’t busy attempting to cook (My Kitchen Rules, Most Popular Reality Program), or crying with Asher at the death of Dr Patrick Reid (Asher Keddie, Most Popular Actress AND Most Outstanding Actress) we are spending our evenings watching Foreign Correspondent (Prisoner X Most Outstanding Public Affairs Report), Kings Cross ER (Most Outstanding Factual Program), Redfern Now (Outstanding Drama Series) and Top of the Lake (Most Outstanding Miniseries or Telemovie).

Meanwhile our tweens are spending their time watching the box to perve on the Australia’s television version of One Direction in Nowhere Boys (Most Outstanding Children’s Program).

Newcomer Bonnie Sveen (Most Popular New Talent) gave a lovely little speech and seems genuinely stoked to be a role model to young women. Kudos to her.

Dannii Minogue hung out with big sis Kylie and Paula Abdul backstage.

Lachy Hulme got the gong for Most Outstanding Actor and gave some weird back handed thank you’s in his speech #thankyoubutnothankyou. He then said “I want to thank some people who had nothing to do with this production.” Yep, because the production team had zero impact on him winning this award. Zero. None. Zip. He most definitely would still have won if there was no production team, and subsequently no show. No doubt. After all these shows make themselves, don’t they? He ended by thanking his Mum so I guess he redeemed himself. Sort of.

My pick for best dressed was the host of “I’m not getting paid enough for cows so put me on TV and claim I want a wife” Natalie Grusenadlvgscbljsneoubeouvbski (lucky she’s hot and because no one I know knows how to actually spell her name). Though she wore black, she obviously didn’t get the memo about wearing white. There was so much white, and lace, obviously there is a serious lack of celebrity weddings this year.

For the most part the 2014 Logies were a fairly predictable set of awards. Except, of course, for the bogans and the chippie. But, after all, we are in Aus, so really, it was only matter of time, wasn’t it.

Lachy Hulme’s acceptance speech was a bit confusing wasn’t it?

It’s not every day we get to say a major award winning show had its actor accept an award in thongs and the Gold Logie winner wants to wear his medal as a necklace-come-stubbie-opener.

So that’s a wrap. 2014 Logies. Done and dusted. (See what I did there, chippie — saw dust — dusted — cha ching!). I heard next year the awards are relocating to the Deni Ute Muster. It seems fitting.

P.S. What happened to Neighbours? Did Margot Robbie take any chances of an award with her to Wall Street?

In case you’re interested in the whole list of who-gets-more-money-on-their-next-contract you can find them below:

LOGIE WINNERS

Scott Cam, Gold Logie for Most Popular TV Personality

Asher Keddie, Most Popular Actress, Offspring

Chris Lilley, Most Popular Actor, Ja’mie, Private School Girl

Scott Cam, Most Popular Presenter, The Block

Nine News, NSW Bushfires, Most Outstanding News Coverage

Hamish and Andy’s Gap Year Asia, Most Popular Light Entertainment Program

Home and Away, Most Popular Drama Series

My Kitchen Rules, Most Popular Reality Program

Nowhere Boys, Most Outstanding Children’s Program

Prisoner X, Foreign Correspondent, Most Outstanding Public Affairs Report

Kings Cross ER, Most Outstanding Factual Program

Peter Harvey, Hall of Fame inductee

The NRL Footy Show, Most Popular Sports Program

Better Homes and Gardens, Most Popular Lifestyle Program

Bonnie Sveen, Most Popular New Talent, Home and Away

Melbourne Cup, Seven, Most Outstanding Sports Coverage

Top of the Lake, Most Outstanding Miniseries or Telemovie

Housos, Most Outstanding Light Entertainment Program

Redfern Now, Outstanding Drama Series

Asher Keddie, Most Outstanding Actress

Lachy Hulme, Most Outstanding Actor

Lisa Almond is a communications professional, a freelance journalist, editor and copywriter. She lives on the NSW South Coast with her partner and their two adorable sons. . She is passionate about words and the power they have You can follow her on Twitter HERE.