Jimmy Kimmel’s killer opening monologue: ‘Meryl Streep has phoned it in for more than 50 years’

HE threw shade at Mel Gibson, sparred with Matt Damon — and delivered a few epic put-downs aimed Donald Trump’s way. Jimmy Kimmel nailed it.

OSCARS host Jimmy Kimmel nailed his opening monologue, offering up hilarious riffs on Matt Damon, Meryl Streep and — of course — Donald Trump.

While many anticipated his opener to be politically charged with a strong anti-Trump message, the late night host said he wasn’t the right guy to unite a nation.

“Let’s just get something straight: there’s only one brave heart and he’s not going to unite us either,” he joked, as the camera zoomed on Braveheart star and Hollywood one-time Hollywood outcast Mel Gibson.

“Mel, you look great, I think the Scientology is working,” Kimmel joked as the crowd roared.

In a touching turn, Kimmel noted the importance of reaching out to people with differences in an effort to make amends, but the sentiment quickly turned.

Matt Damon copped a serve. Picture: Kevin Winter/Getty Images

“Tonight in the spirit of healing and bringing people together I would like to bury the hatchet with somebody I have had issues with. Matt Damon,” Kimmel said.

“Now Matt, I have known Matt for a long time now. I have known Matt so long when I first met Matt I was the fat one. We have had problems. He’s a selfish person, those who work with him know this. But Matt did something very unselfish and I want to commend it for him.

“Matt, as you probably know, could have starred in Manchester by the Sea — he was the producer and it is nominated for six Oscars including lead actor and he could have taken that lead actor part for himself, but he didn’t. He gave that role to Casey Affleck, his childhood friend. He handed over an Oscar-calibre role to his friend and make a Chinese ponytail movie instead.

“That movie, The Great Wall, went on went on to lose $80 million. Smooth move, dumb ass. It is so easy to reach out and heal.”

Having eviscerated Damon, who sat laughing helplessly in the audience, Kimmel then turned to President Donald Trump.

Mel Gibson: ‘I think the Scientology is working’. Picture: Al Powers/Invision/AP

“Maybe this is not a popular thing to say, I want to say congratulations to Donald Trump,” he said. “Remember last year when the Oscars seemed racist? It’s gone. Thanks to him.”

Kimmel reflected on what’s been “a big year for movies: Black people saved NASA and white people saved jazz. How’s that for progress?”

Commenting on how many of this year’s Best Picture contenders were tear-jerkers, he noted that “The only happy ending in any of the movies was the one in the middle of Moonlight.”

As the audience paused to make sense of this reference to a teenage sex scene in the arthouse film, he quipped:

“You didn’t watch it, did you?”

Next up, Meryl Streep — who famously copped flak from the president earlier this year when Trump slammed the actor as “overrated” after she addressed him in her galvanising Golden Globes speech.

“Meryl Streep has phoned in it for more than 50 years over the course of her lacklustre career.

he joked.

“This is her 20th nomination. Maybe more amazing considering she wasn’t in a movie this year. We wrote her name out of habit. Stand up and please give Meryl Streep a totally undeserved round of applause.”

The overrated Meryl Streep receives an undeserved round of applause. Picture: Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP

As Streep stood at the front of the room and Hollywood’s A-listers howled, Kimmel continued: “The highly overrated Meryl Streep, everyone!”

As the standing ovation continued, Kimmel couldn’t resist one last quip, at the expense of Donald Trump’s daughter Ivanka’s failing fashion line.

“Nice dress by the way, is that an ‘Ivanka’?”

As the night wore on, Kimmel popped up regularly to pepper jokes throughout the telecast.

“If there is anyone here from CNN or the LA Times or The New York Times, if you work for anything with the word “Times” in it, even medieval times I would like you to leave the building right now. We have no tolerance for fake news. Fake tans we love,” he noted at one point.

And introducing Dawyne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Kimmel described the star as “a former wrestler who is now the highest paid actor in the world, which puts this thing in perspective, doesn’t it.”

Introducing Hacksaw Ridge actor Vince Vaughn, Kimmel described the film as “the story of a conscientious objector who worked with Mel Gibson anyway.”