Ellen DeGeneres, 2014 Oscars host: her funniest moments

WITH Ellen hosting, it was always going to be a bumper year for funny Oscars moments. Here are the best lines from the ceremony.

WITH Ellen DeGeneres hosting, it was always going to be a bumper year for funny Oscars moments. Here are the best lines from the ceremony — we’ll keep you updated as more pearlers come to hand:

From the red carpet

Ryan Seacrest: How did you celebrate your birthday yesterday?

Lupita Nyong’o: I went to the Independent Spirit Awards … AND I WON.

Jared Leto: I want to put the rumours to rest — (84-year-old nominee June Squibb) and I are indeed dating.

Mindy Kaling: Jennifer Lawrence is so amazing, I could just watch her trip over all day long.

News_Image_File: BEHIND THE SCENES OSCARS 2014: Host Ellen DeGeneres posts, "Here we go." Picture: Instagram

From Ellen

“For those of you watching at home, it has been a tough couple of days — it has been raining in LA. We’re fine. Thank you for your prayers.”

“June Squibb is nominated for Nebraska. At 84 years old she is the oldest nominee; she was wonderful in Nebraska. (To June) I’M TELLING EVERYONE YOU WERE WONDERFUL IN NEBRASKA! THAT MOVIE YOU DID!”

“Also here tonight, one of the most amazing Liza Minnelli impersonators I have ever seen in my life. Good job, sir.” (Cut to a rather unimpressed looking Liza Minnelli in the audience)

“The most important thing in the world is love and friendship and family, and if people don’t have that they usually get into show business.”

“You should all think of yourselves as winners … not all of you, but the people who have won before.”

Pharrell’s red carpet fashion

Jennifer Lawrence’s Oscars tumble

Red carpet fashions: best and worst

Red carpet gallery

“Amy Adams, you were in two nominated films tonight. That is so … what’s the word? Selfish.”

(to Jennifer Lawrence, who tripped up the stairs last year and fell on the red carpet) “If you win tonight, I think we should bring you the Oscar. I don’t want to risk it.”

News_Rich_Media: Oscars host Ellen bags Jennifer Lawrence in opening of Academy Awards: Courtesy Nine Network

“You all look beautiful tonight. I’m not going to say who looks most beautiful … yes I am, it’s Jared Leto.”

“Dallas Buyers Club deals with the serious issue of people who have sex at rodeos. It looks fun, but DON’T DO IT people.”

“Jonah Hill is nominated for The Wolf of Wall Street. Jonah, you showed us something in that film that I have not seen for a very, very long time … get it?”

“Possibility number 1, 12 Years a Slave wins for Best Picture. Possibility number 2: you’re all racists. And now, please welcome our first white presenter, Anne Hathaway!”

“Citizen Kane, Lawrence of Arabia, Ace Ventura. Our next presenter was in one of those. Please welcome Jim Carrey.”

“Here’s a man who needs no introduction. But if I don’t introduce him, he would never know when to come out.”

“Is anybody hungry? I feel like everyone has gotta be hungry right now. I’m gonna order pizza.”

“Here is an actress who is only a stranger to those who don’t know her... Sally Field.”

News_Image_File: Why Ellen’s the best Oscars host: she orders pizza for everybody.

(Handing out the pizzas she’s just had delivered): “OK, I don’t have any money...where’s Harvey Weinstein?”

If only Bradley's arm was longer. Best photo ever. #oscars pic.twitter.com/C9U5NOtGap

— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) March 3, 2014

“And now, I get to introduce someone whose name I didn’t have to practise…please welcome Holdie Gawn! I mean Goldie Hawn.”