Schapelle Corby on love, babies and being The Bachelorette
In her first ever news interview, convicted drug smuggler Schapelle Corby tells of life post-Bali, claims she was “bullied and choked” by Renae Lawrence, hopes for twins with boyfriend Ben Panangian, and of being wooed to be The Bachelorette.
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Schapelle Corby has revealed she feared fellow convicted drug smuggler Renae Lawrence in prison accusing the Bali Nine member of choking her and bullying.
“She was abusive mentally and physically,” Corby claimed of her time with Lawrence in Bali’s notorious Kerobokan jail.
“She has choked me.
“I was very fearful of her,” Corby told The Sunday Telegraph.
In an explosive sit-down interview — nearly two-and-a-half years since her return to Australia — Corby also opened up on finding love, wanting kids, being approached to star as the Bachelorette and living with “visions” each day.
With her mental health deteriorating after the death of her dad Michael to cancer in 2008 while she was behind bars, Corby claimed Lawrence’s behaviour further contributed to her dark state of mind.
“She’s a bully,” she said.
Lawrence strongly rejected the claims when contacted by The Sunday Telegraph.
Her lawyer Drew Hamilton said: “My client, Ms Lawrence denies these allegations vehemently, describing them as cruel fantasy.”
Initially friends when they first met, Corby said her relationship with Lawrence, who returned to Australia late last year, broke down before she even realised.
“I’ve had comments from other people who saw us in the visit area together and were like ‘how do you let her speak to you like that’ but I wasn’t really seeing it,” she said.
“I’m no angel either. I’m sure I pissed her off sometimes as well — not intentionally but, you know, no-one’s perfect.
“I’d tried to stay out of her way as much as possible but we did get to a stage where we could live in the same block together.”
Found guilty in 2005 of smuggling 4.2 kilograms of marijuana in a boogie board bag into Bali, Corby was hospitalised twice for her mental health issues during her sentence before she was released on parole in 2014.
“I was very, very, very sick,” the Queenslander said.
“Mental illness is real and there were a lot of people who accused me of faking it — you can’t fake that.
“It’s so amazing that I’m actually here. I did not think I would actually be able to leave — like I would die in there.”
Corby said she still has “visions” of her incarceration since her deportation from Bali in May 2017 and she has professional help.
“I have some really dark times but I have a great family to help push me through,” she said.
“I’m still adjusting two years later.
“I’m not just the girl that nobody knows just walking down the street. I’m Schapelle.
“I’m the person that everybody has seen on TV and in the newspapers for almost every week for the past 14 years, 15 years.”
Living in the south of Brisbane with her mum Rosleigh Rose, Corby is acutely aware she can no longer just blend in.
The 42-year-old is always on high alert for the paparazzi or people taking candid shots of her out and about.
Even getting a job is difficult.
“I can’t go and work in a shop — it just causes havoc,” she said. “There’s no way.”
Sitting in a restaurant last week, Corby’s face lights up when the conversation turns to her Balinese boyfriend of 13 years, Ben Panangian, who she met in prison.
“I’m very lucky to have found Ben in such dismal circumstances,” she said of the 38-year-old, the owner of a stand-up paddle board business.
“He’s been in my life before my mental illness, so he knows what I was like beforehand, he knew me during and he knows me now and he still apparently loves me and I believe he really does love me.”
Wearing a commitment ring from Panangian on her wedding finger, Corby said she wants kids, “twins if possible”.
“I would love to have a family together,” she said.
“Marriage I’m not sure — look I’m not pressuring him.”
Twice convicted and jailed on drug charges in Bali, Panangian can’t yet enter Australia but the couple holiday together overseas once a year.
Their last trip was in April but they speak “a few times” each day.
Corby said she can visit him in Bali — despite reports she was “black-listed” from returning — but she’s “not ready” to revisit the island.
She’s now preparing to release a revised version of her 2006 autobiography, My Story: Schapelle Corby, co-written again with journalist and author Kathryn Bonella.
The updated book includes her further seven years locked up in Kerobokan, living on parole in Bali before returning to Australia.
“I’m not looking for anyone to judge me,” she said.
“I’m not looking for sympathy.
“I’m just wanting to share what really happened to me.”
Corby has always maintained her innocence but now she just “walks away” when the inevitable question of did she or didn’t she arises.
“I don’t need to be living in a court case my whole life,” she said.
“I don’t feel I need to defend myself anymore.”
Corby won’t be drawn on proceeds of crime and whether she will earn money from the new book, only to say: “I just want to tell my story — that’s my priority”.
She’s learning to live a normal life. But flying is still a challenge.
She never checks in her luggage when she travels, only taking carry-on. Even her small, everyday handbag can be locked.
“I’m very fearful but that’s going to stay with me forever,” she said.
She has always claimed she never knew drugs had been put in her unlocked boogie board bag.
She has given up smoking and no longer reads negative social media comments about her.
Corby said she has been asked to star on reality television programs including The Bachelorette, which wasn’t an option since she has a boyfriend.
“I’m not in the right frame of mind to do these things,” she said.
“I’m still becoming comfortable with life.”
She denies having cosmetic surgery such as cheek implants and an eyebrow lift, despite regular headlines on her appearance.
And although she acknowledges she will never be able to just walk out her front door without someone recognising her, Corby is hopeful about the future.
“I never thought that I would be 42-years-old,” she said.
“I’m so, so, so grateful.
“I’m so happy to be with my family and just … living.”
Schapelle Corby My Story with Kathryn Bonella, published by Macmillan Australia. RRP $29.99 — fully revised and updated. Publishing 29 October 2019. Available in all good bookstores and online. www.kathrynbonella.com
Other best sellers by Kathryn Bonella: Hotel Kerobokan, Snowing In Bali and Operation Playboy
Originally published as Schapelle Corby on love, babies and being The Bachelorette