Sons of murdered Heidelberg West mum Maud Steenbeek forgive her killer
No one would blame the sons of murder victim Maud Steenbeek for hating the man who bludgeoned their mum to death. But instead, they have drawn on her loving spirit to forgive him.
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No one would blame murder victim Maud Steenbeek’s sons for hating the man who killed their mum.
But Ms Steenbeek raised her sons, Luke and Adam Zecevic, to be loving and compassionate, and three three-and-a-half years after her death, they have drawn on their mother’s loving spirit to forgive her killer.
“It shocks a lot of people … our mother was bludgeoned to death but we try to look with love at her assailant,” Luke said.
Luke and Adam spoke to the Sunday Herald Sun about the night their loving and wise mother, 61, was killed in her home by psychotic neighbour Xochil O’Neill.
The brothers say O’Neill was a victim too, and deserved better.
“I think there is an opportunity here for people to look at Adam and I and see how this doesn’t control our lives. We have found peace with the assailant. We understand he is also a victim,” Luke said.
“What he did was horrid. It was wrong. But let’s look deeper at why he did it? He was someone in pain. He had no chance in life, his mum was a heroin junkie and he was let down by the system.
One of the adages Ms Steenbeek lived by, and encouraged her sons to follow, was: “Love is the answer, what is the question?”
Luke said: “We need to look from love instead of hate and resentment. This is what mum taught us.”
O’Neill was found not guilty of Ms Steenbeek’s murder due to mental impairment and has been ordered to spend 25 years at secure psychiatric facility, Thomas Embling Hospital.
He was in the grips of a psychotic episode when he broke into Ms Steenbeek’s Heidelberg West home in January 2020 and bludgeoned her with a Samoan wooden paddle he found hanging on one of the walls.
Ms Steenbeek, a pilates teacher who was undergoing cancer treatment, was on Skype to her brother in the Netherlands at the time of the attack.
He heard her scream, suspecting someone had entered her home and phoned Luke, telling him to go home right away.
Adam was at the gym only a few minutes from the house and rushed home to find O’Neill standing in his mother’s bedroom.
“I said to him, ‘I won’t call the police if you leave, but if you don’t get out I’ll call the police’. (O’Neill) then turned around and smashed the fish tank … there was water and fish everywhere,” Adam recalled.
He said at this point he knew the intruder could not be reasoned with.
Adam rushed inside. He dodged O’Neill who came at him with the wooden paddle before disarming the intruder and putting him to the ground.
Adam then ran outside and released from the garage the family dog, Buddha.
The Sarplaninac had a gentle heart and was never trained as an attack dog.
But when Adam yelled ‘attack’, the dog understood his family was in trouble and acted.
Buddha launched at O’Neill, dragging him from the home to the outside clothesline where he stood over him, barking when O’Neill made even the slightest movement.
As Buddha stood guard, Adam returned to the home to search for his mum.
Moments later, he was confronted with a terrible sight that still haunts him.
His mum, just an hour earlier so full of life, was curled up in the foetal position in her bedroom with all the bones in her hands and arms shattered.
They were rested above her head in a sign she tried to protect herself from her attacker.
“I just remember grabbing her body and yelling ‘mum, mum’ to see if she was conscious but the warmth had already left her body,” Adam said.
“She was my best friend.”
When Luke arrived home, he found the single most important person in his life was gone.
“It was like a bad dream that I couldn’t wake up from,” he said.
His mum had helped steer him away from drugs and alcohol years earlier and losing her had been “the biggest fear of my life”.
“If it wasn’t for mum, I wouldn’t be alive,” he said.
Luke and Adam said their mother was playful, wise, loving and above all, compassionate toward others, particularly those cast out by society.
“She always encouraged us to look at why someone might be acting a certain way and ask ‘were they in pain themselves?’” Luke said.
About two months before her death, Ms Steenbeek was diagnosed with terminal multiple myeloma.
Barely an hour before her life was ended, she, Luke and Buddha took a walk along Darebin Creek.
They were talking about a family friend’s upcoming funeral when out of nowhere, Buddha stopped walking, turned around and stared with concern into Ms Steenbeek’s eyes.
Luke recalled: “Mum said to Buddha, “Baby, I’m not dying”.”
Both sons know if their mother was here today she too would share empathy for her killer.
They believe Victoria’s mental health system has failed people like O’Neill and that urgent work is needed to ensure unwell people living in the community receive adequate care.
They say the state government must dedicate more funds to public drug and alcohol rehabilitation programs.
Subsidised programs have enormous waitlists due to demand while private programs can cost tens of thousands of dollars, making them impossible for many to consider.
Luke said: “I know as an ex-user that when a moment of clarity comes and you decide to become sober, it’s a small window and you need to strike.
“You can’t wait until six months down the track. It needs to happen straight away.
“We need a proper system that has the ability to provide care for those in need.”
A state government spokesperson said $776m was invested in mental health and alcohol and drug support services in the 2023-24 budget, on top of $6bn in funding since the Royal Commission into Victoria’s Mental Health System two years ago.
“We are improving health and social outcomes for people who use drugs in our community – with more than 40,000 Victorians accessing help from Government-funded alcohol and drug treatment and support services each year,” the spokesperson said.
“We are continuing to support a range of initiatives to reduce alcohol and other drug related harms, including evidence-based education, health-led harm reduction programs, residential withdrawal and rehabilitation facilities, community-based services and crisis responses.”
The Zecevic brothers are now focusing their energy on extending their mother’s legacy of care and compassion.
In August, they will launch Maudcare, a support program for people with mental illness and disability.
The six-day-a-week program will be run out of Ms Steenbeek’s hobby farm in the Geelong region and include programs that help people explore their passions and integrate with society.
“We are bringing mum and continuing her legacy forward,” Luke said.
“Her teachings gave us the ability to find love in our hearts for Xochil O’Neill. It’s how we are recovering and how we live on.”