Deadline: Car thefts fuel rumours of soaring insurance premiums in posh postcodes

It might now be safer leaving a Mercedes parked in Craigieburn than Canterbury, which is why it’s rumoured insurance premiums are soaring in posh suburbs.

Prestige cars used to be as safe as houses in Melbourne’s affluent eastern suburbs.

Andrew Rule and Mark Buttler with the latest scallywag scuttlebutt.

A nasty case of the Benz

Melbourne’s affluent eastern suburbs used to be places where car owners felt least at risk of having their vehicles stolen.

That’s changed as youth offenders have zeroed in. It might now be safer leaving a Merc in the driveway in Coolaroo or Craigieburn than in Canterbury.

This trend is no doubt why there’s a rumour that insurance premiums in posh postcodes are starting to reflect the rate of high-end car theft as teenage thieves target imported prestige cars.

It would not be victim-blaming to report that most of the cars are stolen when the intruders walk through unlocked doors.

As one police source said last week, locking doors at night is basic bread and butter crime prevention advice on the same level as not leaving keys in the ignition on a visit to the shops — which, in fact, is considered so stupid that it is illegal.

Strangely, the same logic is not applied to identically sensible advice about not walking alone in poorly lit areas late at night for fear of robbery or assault or worse.

Why? Because that sort of common sense might be labelled “victim blaming” rather than a simple crime-prevention strategy.

That deflated feeling

Security people got a surprise when they surprised an intruder fully engaged in a romantic interlude with a blow-up doll in Fawkner cemetery on a recent moonlit night.

Old mate was caught literally with his pants down, so there was no chance of him escaping before bemused police arrived to take him away.

The alleged perpetrator didn’t have much to say and seemed to feel a bit flat. Same with the doll, which was photographed looking extremely wrinkled, like a pricked balloon.

Still, as crime goes at Fawkner Cemetery, there’s worse things.

Such as the shooting of former Mongols bikie Sam “The Punisher” Abdulrahim was ambushed leaving a funeral there last June.

Abdulrahim, 32, was shot at least three times, including to the chest and stomach, and later taunted the would-be killers from his hospital bed.

As assassinations go, it wasn’t a great success. But at least the attackers in that case got a shot off.

Sam Abdulrahim’s bullet-riddled Mercedes outside Fawkner Police station. Picture: Brendan Beckett

Thief had wood

The police pursuit of a timber thief in the western suburbs had a most unseemly climax last week.

The cops’ target was a bloke who took a stolen van and trailer to a Truganina construction site and started loading up all the timber he could get.

Being the outlaw type, he didn’t bother much with tying his cargo down properly, so bits and pieces fell off the trailer as he travelled through the suburbs.

Investigators from a Werribee police operation called Shows eventually tracked him to Deer Park where he was detained and his car searched, including the roof lining.

Now, while most of us would be concerned about what spiders might have set up home in there, other hazards were present.

As a policewoman opened the lining, a collection of hidden sex toys started falling on top of her.

“Apparently, it was raining dildos. Very nasty stuff,” said one police source, whose alleged concern was at odds with his chuckling.

Police are trying to track down the owners of a valuable baseball.

WANTED: Crystal ball for baseball

Detectives are covering all bases as they try to trace the owners of a signed baseball, Herald Sun crime reporter Brianna Travers reports.

The ball, which is white with red stitching and appears well-used, is covered in signatures with playing numbers beside them.

One of the clearest signatures seems to be that of Scott Dawes, who represented Australia in the game between 1993-1998, including at the Atlanta Olympics.

The ball is one of a number of items found in a vehicle stolen from a property in Footscray last year and later recovered at Epping Plaza shopping centre.

So far, police have struck out in efforts to link the ball to reported crimes and are unable to ascertain who the owner is.

Which is why they have released an image of the mystery ball in the hope someone recognises it.