‘Whole arm was covered in scars’: Nick Kyrgios opens up about mental health struggle during Wimbledon in 2019

Nick Kyrgios has revealed a small detail in his outfit in Wimbledon that was secretly obscuring an immense personal struggle.

Kyrgios opened wore the sleeve to hide evidence of his self-harm. Photo: Getty Images

Aussie tennis star Nick Kyrgios has revealed he was admitted to a London psychiatric ward during Wimbledon in 2019, and was contemplating taking his own life.

The frank revelation comes in the second batch of episodes of Netflix documentary Break Point to be released on June 21.

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Kyrgios, who made the final of Wimbledon last year, was ranked 43rd in the world heading into the 2019 edition of the tournament, where he defeated fellow Aussie Jordan Thompson in a five-set thriller before bowing out to Rafael Nadal in four sets.

But the loss started a spiral for Kyrgios, who has been open on his mental health battles over the years.

He said 2019 was “the lowest point of my career” and he played the tournament with a white sleeve on one arm to hide evidence that he’d been self harming.

“I was genuinely contemplating if I wanted to commit suicide,” Kyrgios said.

“I lost at Wimbledon. I woke up and my dad was sitting on the bed, full-blown crying. That was the big wake-up call for me. I was like, OK, I can’t keep doing this. I ended up in a psych ward in London to figure out my problems.”

Kyrgios donned the sleeve for Wimbledon in 2020. Photo by Mike Hewitt/Getty Images

Kyrgios’ father George said: “I told him, ‘This is not the right path, mate. You’ve got bigger and better things to chase, you know.’ He was in tears …

“I’m here for Nick. Nothing else matters. When he’s away, he’s my first priority. He’s very sensitive, very fragile.”

Kyrgios’ long-time manager and friend Daniel Horsfall said he was “f**ked” and the tennis star cried while telling him: “Bro, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be here.”

Kyrgios said he “hated the kind of person I was” and couldn’t deal with the expectation.

“I was drinking, abusing drugs, lost my relationship with my family, pushed all my close friends away,” he said.

“You could tell I was hurting. My whole arm was covered in scars. That’s why I actually got my arm sleeve. To cover it all.”

Kyrgios, who had the first episode centred on him in Break Point, will feature prominently in episodes six, “Belonging”, and seven, “Saints and Sinner”, which cover the 2022 Wimbledon event.

It was an incredible performance from Kyrgios in 2022. Photo by SEBASTIEN BOZON / AFP

Kyrgios was the runner up in the men’s draw, his deepest run at a grand slam, and eventually lost the final in four sets to Novak Djokovic.

While he’s still ranked 25th in the world, Kyrgios has been sidelined by injury this season and was beaten in straight sets in his first tour-level match since October in Stuttgart.

He played in an exhibition in Saudi Arabia in December and an exhibition against Djokovic before the Australian Open, which essentially doubled as a fitness test for his knee injury.

Kyrgios has opened up about self-harming in the past, saying that the 2020 Australian Open was also “one of my darkest periods”.

Kyrgios made the fourth round that year before being ousted in four sets, again by Nadal.

At the time, Nadal was the world’s top-ranked player, while Kyrgios was seeded 23.

While the Spaniard claimed the victory, Kyrgios also earned great respect from Nadal, who praised the Aussie for his performance.

Kyrgios’ best Australian Open result was a quarterfinal in 2015, while he also made the fourth round in 2018.

But while Kyrgios was flying on the court, he revealed that off the court it was a different story.

Kyrgios’ right arm showed signs of his self harm. Photo by Wayne Taylor/Getty Images

Taking to Instagram last February, Kyrgios pointed to marks on his arm as evidence of self harm, while calling for people who were struggling to seek help.

“This was me three years ago at the Australian Open,” he began.

“Most would assume I was doing OK mentally or enjoying my life … it was one of my darkest periods.

“If you look closely, on my right arm you can see my self harm. I was having suicidal thoughts and was literally struggling to get out of bed, let alone play in front of millions. I was lonely, depressed, negative, abusing alcohol, drugs, pushed away family and friends. I felt as if I couldn’t talk or trust anyone.

“This was a result of not opening up and refusing to lean on my loved ones and simply just push myself little by little to be positive.

“I know that day to day life can seem extremely exhausting, impossible at times. I understand that you feel if you open up it may make you feel weak, or scared. I’m telling you right now, it’s OK, you are not alone. I’ve been through those times when it seemed as if those positive energetic vibes were never ever going to be reality. Please, don’t feel as if you are alone, if you feel as if you can’t talk to anyone, I’m here, reach out.

“I’m proud to say I’ve completely turned myself around and have a completely different outlook on everything, I don’t take one moment for granted. I want you to be able to reach your full potential and smile. This life is beautiful.”

In May last year, he also opened up about living in the spotlight during an age in which trolls are emboldened to say whatever they want on social media, admitting at his lowest ebb he felt “worthless” and like he was “letting people down all the time”.

Originally published as ‘Whole arm was covered in scars’: Nick Kyrgios opens up about mental health struggle during Wimbledon in 2019