‘I didn’t want to get out of bed’: How Shayna Jack turned two years of pain into golden glory

Shayna Jack has been to ‘hell’ and back since her ban from swimming. She reveals to JULIAN LINDEN how with the help of coach Dean Boxell, they turned her ‘pain’ into a golden comeback.

Australia's Shayna Jack reacts after competing in the semifinal of the women's 100m freestyle swimming event during the Paris 2024 Olympic Games at the Paris La Defense Arena in Nanterre, west of Paris, on July 30, 2024. (Photo by Jonathan NACKSTRAND / AFP)

Only the people who are closest to Shayna Jack really understand what it means for her to be swimming for Australia at the Paris Olympics.

Plenty know her tragic backstory; how she was banned from competing at the Tokyo Olympics after testing positive to the banned drug Ligandrol in 2019; and how she spent two years, and her life savings, trying to clear her name before eventually her ban was halved.

Swimming fans also know that her comeback has been a runaway success, with two Olympic gold medals already in her backpack after she was part of the two Australian relays that won in Paris.

It’s a redemption story like few others, but one that still hides an uncomfortable truth.

The 25-year-old might have a million-dollar smile, but there have been times when all she had was tears and thoughts that she was done with the sport.

Shayna Jack’s redemption Games has been a golden success. Picture: SEBASTIEN BOZON / AFP

Even in her moment of celebration and redemption, Jack’s mind still wandered back to the torment she endured, and still is in some ways, because of the stigma that’s attached to doping cases – even when you’re innocent.

“I’ve been through a lot,” Jack said. “I had days when I didn’t want to get out of bed.

“I was going through hell. At times I felt alone. But then I would have my partner, my dog, my family, my friends.

“They couldn’t take away my pain and they would tell me that. They’d basically sit there and say, ‘we wish we could help in a sense of taking this pain off you and taking that hurt from you but all we can do is sit here and be there for you’.

“And that’s all anyone’s asking for when they’re struggling. It’s not necessarily about fixing the problem. It’s just about being there.”

At her lowest point, when she was given a four-year ban that she eventually succeeded in having reduced to two years when the arbitrators agreed she had not knowingly taken any banned substances, Jack got vital support from swimmers including Cate Campbell and her coach Dean Boxall.

Shayna Jack says coach Dean Boxall is like family. Picture: Steve Pohlner

“Dean’s family to me, after everything that we’ve been through,” she said.

“He’s the person who would answer my call at 2am in the morning when I’m crying and didn’t know what to do, didn’t have a reason to get up each day.

“He was the man who said, ‘Shayna get your arse off the couch and get to the pool, go just get in the water, remember why you swim, remember why you love it’.

“And he was a man that when I first came back, he walked on to the pool deck with me. That morning I could return to the pool, it was in May 2021, and he waited for me outside, and he walked in with me head held high and said, ‘let’s do this. Let’s go prove to them that they were wrong, they made a mistake’ and that I’m stronger than ever because of it.”

Jack’s two-year battle to clear her name was painful to watch, because it raised serious questions about the inconsistency in how anti-doping rules are applied.

Jack’s painful battle resulted in her ban reduced. Picture: AAP Image/Darren England

Inevitably, there were some people who just didn’t believe her story. Even after the Court of Arbitration reduced her ban after believing she did not intend to cheat, the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) and Sport Integrity Australia both appealed. Jack won but the emotional toll on her was overbearing.

WADA’s hard line approach to Jack is in contrast to the way it dealt with the 23 Chinese swimmers who were let off after testing positive to TMZ in 2021.

Jack has been quizzed about the different way the cases were treated but says she doesn’t want to discuss it, at least for now, because her focus is purely on Paris.

“It’s definitely something that I felt when it came out,” she said. “But for me I really wanted to focus on myself. I’ve had enough, I guess, drama that has pulled me back in the past, and I really didn’t want to let this affect my performance and my goals going forward.

“This is my Olympic dream, and I’m not going to let anything stop me from achieving those goals. I will be confronting it after Olympics.”

Fair enough, too, because Jack has been one of Australia’s busiest swimmers in Paris. As well as the two relays, she also made the final of the 100m, finishing fifth, and is swimming the 50m too.

“This is like base camp of Everest, so I’m still definitely trying to get to that peak,” she said.

“My dreams and goals continue to expand and continue to strive to reach something that I’ve never done before.

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“After this, I’m just going to go away and have a look at what I have achieved, but then continue moving forward and try to see what I’m capable of because I’m not done yet.

“I’ve said to myself I have nothing to prove.

“It’s one of those things that every little girl dreams of and I’ve always dreamt of representing my country at the Olympics, especially in the individual events.

“It’s just using every bit of motivation from anybody who ever doubted me.

“And knowing that I reached a point of, you know, absolute despair and not even knowing if I wanted to return to the sport.

“It’s just happiness. I’m just so proud of myself and I couldn’t have done it without so many people.”