The doting dad making Aussie men cry through his love for golden daughter, Alexa Leary
The Leary family have been on one unimaginable journey over the past three years, and as Alexa wins the hearts of the nation, dad Russ opens up on the emotional ride that’s making ‘men cry.’
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Russ Leary can’t stop bawling his eyes out, but he’s no sook.
He’s just like every Aussie dad who loves his kids to death, so the thought of ever losing them cuts deeply.
Three years ago, Russ and his wife Belinda confronted every parent’s worst horror: told that their daughter Alexa was about to die after crashing her bike at high-speed and landing on her head.
“It has been a nightmare,” Russ said.
“A traumatic brain injury is horrendous and to deal with it is not easy, not easy at all, but we learnt.
“It was so traumatic, her ups and downs were so high and so low, so it was one of those things that we had to fight through. And in the end we got there.”
Alexa’s injuries were so severe that the doctors didn’t think she would survive so told the family to prepare to say their goodbyes.
It was too much for Russ to bear. He broke down, sobbing uncontrollably, but never gave up hope.
Alexa suffered permanent brain damage but did pull through and three years on, she’s become a beacon of hope for all Aussie families living through head trauma.
A talented triathlete who dreamt of making it to the Olympics before her accident, she’s won two gold medals in swimming at the Paralympics in Paris, and is melting hearts around the world with her infectious smile and zest for life.
“If I could have my daughter back, I’d give the gold medal back,” Russ said.
“But the situation now is we’ve got through the fight and we’ve now got the gold medal, so we’ve got to run now with this kid that we’ve got now, the new girl.
“It’s incredible what we’ve gone through but it’s still a two way situation. The tears take you back to the pain and the pain was terrible and horrendous.
“She lost all her friends, everyone walked away because of her anger of the brain damage. But with the help of a lot of people, we’ve got her settled down and understanding her.”
Russ is still bawling his eyes out, but he’s not alone. Other Aussie men are also shedding tears, dispelling the boorish notion that real men don’t cry.
“She makes men cry,” Russ said.
“There are so many men who rang me and said ‘I’ve never cried in my life but I cried in your interview’.”
While Russ and his family never lost faith, the last three years have been harrowing for their whole family. Eight times they were told Alexa would die.
She spent five months in hospital and underwent life saving surgery and even then, the doctors feared she would never walk or talk again and would be confined to a wheelchair in nappies for the rest of her life.
But she proved them wrong again.
“No words will explain that but you’ve got to believe in miracles,” Russ said.
“Where did all this come from? It comes from belief. This family never gave up. At the darkest moments, we never gave up. My wife said ‘I’m not gonna lose her.‘ Eight times she was going to die. But she’s not going.”
Ever so slowly, Alexa began to show signs of improvement, responding to sounds and sights and little pinches to the soles of her feet but it’s been a long process. And the brain damage which has wiped away parts of her memory, causing wild mood swings, while she also walks with the aid of crutches.
“I used to have a whole other life and I personally don’t remember it,” Alexa said.
ALEXA 🥇
— AUS Paralympic Team (@AUSParalympics) September 4, 2024
Gold and a World Record! Absolutely amazing!
@swimmingaustralia | #Paris2024pic.twitter.com/TX8VjgbGke
“I didn’t even know in the hospital who my mum was. Apparently I was asking my dad ‘who is she? And dad would have to say.
“I’m living my second life and I’m loving it. I don’t remember much of my old life, but I just think it’s amazing just what I’m doing.
“I don’t really know much more about her. She was a different person. You ask my family that. Apparently I was a very different person.
“It’s just now my emotions have heightened so I’m like, so happy, so sad, so angry. It’s just dependable but I’m embracing it. I’m learning to love myself.”
Alexa’s recovery has been miraculous, but never in the wildest dreams did her family foresee her winning gold at the Paralympics and the inspiration she’s providing to other Australians who are captivated by her recovery.
“The doctors just loved her. Everyone felt for us, the family, everyone was behind this.
“That’s why she’s here, because the Australian nation was behind her.
“I prayed to the universe and said ‘c’mon universe, this kid’s had a hard run, just give her a bit of sunlight, she needs it and the world needs it.”
When Alexa touched the wall first in Paris to win gold in the 100m freestyle - breaking the world record in the process - the television camera immediately panned straight to the Leary family, who were all there together watching in the stands, celebrating with a few tears rolling down their cheeks.
“You’ve got to be crazy to get yourself through this,” Russ said.
“You’ve got to manage your marriage and it breaks up your kids… the two boys suffered so badly because we weren’t home for months and then we had to work through questions about ‘where’s mum and Dad? I’m 15.
“There is so much we’ve been through and so much that happened.
“I’ve always been emotional but since the accident, everything triggers you.”
The image that still haunts Russ is when he first saw Alexa lying on the side of the road. They had been riding their bikes together but she was much faster so was way ahead of home when she crashed.
“I rode down the hill and it was like a dark cloud. There were bike riders everywhere,” Russ said.
“I rode in and there’s this person, blood everywhere, and I said just don’t say that’s my daughter and it was. It started from there.”
Their love is mutual. Alexa said she can’t hold back the tears either when she sees her dad sobbing because it reinforces how strong their bond is.
“It makes me want to cry too because I know that I’ve been through a long journey,” she said.
“It’s amazing that my dad just never let me go ever. It’s emotional. He’s always by my side.”
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