NRL 2022: Kotoni Staggs opens up his family traumas, career setbacks and dream to captain the Broncos
In the most candid interview of his NRL career, Kotoni Staggs speaks about his failures, family traumas, career setbacks and planned fightbacks.
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Controversial Broncos star Kotoni Staggs has opened up about his struggles with fame and revealed how a showdown with the boss of the NRL was the moment that saved his rugby league career.
One year after the first of two off-field scandals left his Broncos contract hanging by a thread, Staggs spoke to The Courier-Mail about his failures, family traumas, career setbacks and planned fightbacks, including his dream to captain the Broncos.
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In the most candid interview of his NRL career, Staggs talks about the father he didn’t meet for 21 years, growing up dealing with the turbulence of a mum who had intermittent stints in jail, the pitfalls of sporting stardom, how close he came to leaving the Broncos and the reality check from one of the NRL’s most powerful figures.
Last month, Staggs was added to Brisbane’s leadership group for the 2022 premiership. It was a major show of faith from Broncos coach Kevin Walters, given that, just 12 months earlier, Staggs was called to a meeting with NRL hierarchy to address his off-field behaviour.
“I had to own what I did wrong,” Staggs said. “I’ve done that. I want to be a better person.”
REALITY BITES
Exactly a year ago, Staggs was fined $10,000 by the NRL for using a homophobic slur at a rugby league fan in a bush pub. By June, Staggs was in trouble again, ejected from a Brisbane pub after making unwanted advances to a female during a drunken night out.
Staggs copped a fresh $20,000 fine and was slapped with a two-match ban.
The NRL was sick of his conduct.
Rarely does NRL chief executive Andrew Abdo intervene in club matters, but he wanted Staggs to understand not only the gravity of his indiscretions and the repercussions for rugby league’s image, but the sublime footballing talent the Broncos ace was wasting.
“When you get called to talk to the boss of the NRL, you know it’s serious,” Staggs said.
“Andrew wanted to help me and I appreciated that.
“He was honest with me. I didn’t know if I’d be sacked, but Andrew told me how close I was to not being in the game anymore.
“That meeting really changed me and opened my eyes to the consequences if I kept stuffing up. It was a good wake-up call to realise what was on the line — and to realise I had to think twice before I acted.”
THE SCANDALS
Top-level rugby league is littered with examples of talented players who overcome off-field scandals to become NRL superstars.
Johnathan Thurston was once locked up for a drunken Australia Day incident. He matured and became a Queensland Origin legend.
In 1999, former Australia captain Brad Fittler was dropped by a taxi driver outside a Sydney police station, described as “the drunkest human ever”. He went on to captain the Roosters to the 2002 premiership and is now coach of the NSW Origin team.
Staggs is determined to embark on a similar journey of maturation. He was just 19 when handed his NRL debut for the Broncos in 2018 and ill-equipped for the ancillary pressures of performing in the NRL.
Now, just turned 23, Staggs admits his off-field dramas, which came at a time when he was battling the mental demons of a knee reconstruction, made him question his identity.
“It has made me grow up, 100 per cent,” Staggs said.
“Not everyone is perfect and people do make mistakes.
“The way I look at it, I realised the stupid things I’d done, but I also had to find a way to move forward from that.
“One of the hardest things I went through is when my mum rang me and asked what was going on. Explaining what I did wrong to my family was tough.
“But you can’t keep it in the back of your head all the time. But it was important that I moved on and looked ahead to being a better person.
“It’s a part of life when you make mistakes and you have to pay the price. It made me sit down and have a good look at myself.
“I decided it’s not the person I want to be and I know it’s the person I am, there was a better person in myself and I wanted people to know that.
“I didn’t want people to see me in a negative light. I feel like I have matured through this period, but it’s easy to say that, it’s important now that I set a good example for myself and the young players coming through the Broncos club.”
FAME AND MISFORTUNE
Staggs experienced the perils of celebrity life in August 2020 when he was embroiled in a revenge porn scandal.
Initially, Staggs bore the brunt of the fallout, but when the truth emerged, he was the victim, with a Brisbane woman fined $600 by a court for sharing the sex tape without his consent.
In the machismo world of the NRL, where booze goes hand-in-glove with winning, Staggs concedes he had issues with alcohol. Too much, too soon.
Living life in the NRL fast lane has taught Staggs some harsh lessons about himself — and the leader he wants to become at the Broncos.
“It happened very quickly for me,” says Staggs, who went from the obscurity of playing in the Queensland Cup to centre stage with the Broncos, running onto Suncorp as a teenager, in the space of 12 months.
“Coming into the game as a young NRL player, going out can be fun and enjoyable, but at the same time alcohol can overtake you. It led me to the bad things that happened.
“I never thought I would be in the leadership group, but those experiences have given me another opportunity to do what I do best and set a pathway for other young kids in the Broncos system.
“I’ve enjoyed being one of the young leaders here. It’s been good to have my say and it’s nice when the boys listen to me and the coaches take on board what I have to say.”
GROWING PAINS
Rugby league is a blue-collar sport. Many of its participants, including the code’s blue-chip superstars, come from low-socio economic backgrounds and confront disadvantage from a young age.
Staggs was no different.
Growing up in the NSW town Wellington, 355km west of Sydney, a young Staggs had to process the incarceration of his mum Leanne, who spent time behind bars for driving without a licence. She was locked up a second time over a theft offence.
Amid the tumult, Staggs searched for stability. He spent time living with a local family before his grandmother Dawn, who was already caring for Staggs’ brother and sister, took him in.
“It wasn’t easy seeing mum in and out of jail, but we are still close. She’s now living in Brisbane,” Staggs said. “I am pretty proud of myself for getting to the Broncos.
“Where I came from, a lot of people could have been in my position, but they went the other way and ended up in jail.
“With one bad decision or different choice, I could have easily gone down the wrong track and been in jail myself. It’s why I’ve set some goals and promised to keep working hard at the Broncos.”
LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON
For years, the questions nagged away at Staggs.
Where’s my dad? Who IS my dad?
For almost two decades, Staggs navigated life without a father figure. He began probing. The curiosity led him to his father, working as an architect some 11,500km away in the United States. Staggs discovered one thing in common — they were both called Kotoni.
Father and son had conversations for two years before the big plunge was taken. After Staggs’ Tongan side beat Australia in a rugby league Test match in 2019, the Tongan government celebrated by funding trips for the entire playing group to the Pacific nation.
Staggs used the trip as a chance to broker a meeting with his father, who has Tongan heritage. The pair embraced for the first time in November 2019. It was 3am at Tonga airport.
“Around the age of 16, I started asking questions,” he said.
“Growing up around my mates they always had someone to call, ‘Dad’ and I never had someone to call, ‘Dad’.
“It was a different life for me growing up.
“I said to my mum one day, ‘Who is my dad? Where is he? And what does he do?’.
“I ended up finding a connection to his family in Sydney. I reached out to them and they helped put me in touch with my dad, who was called Kotoni.
“I didn’t know what to expect the day we met. I jumped off the plane and I was walking to get my bags and there he was.”
How did it feel?
“A bit shocked,” he says. “I had Skyped him and Facetimed him, so I knew what he looked like, but all of a sudden he was standing there in front of me.
“Do I hug him? I didn’t know what to do. We looked at each other for a second and then he came in and we hugged each other and spoke a few words.
“I really don’t know how to describe the feeling, but it was nice to finally see him and put the puzzle together.
“We talk regularly now, we are always on social media.”
THE FUTURE
The pieces are falling into place for Staggs. His family ties strengthened, he has inked a new Broncos contract worth $2.8 million and has purchased his first home in Brisbane.
As one of rugby league’s hottest backline properties, Staggs admits he seriously weighed up mega offers from rival clubs, but stayed loyal to the Broncos after fielding a phone call from his mother.
“Deciding my future was huge,” he said.
“It was a close call. I almost did leave, but when I thought about going, I looked back to my time as a kid and I had set my dream to play for the Broncos.
“The Knights were really keen and a few other teams were interested, but it was one phone call that changed it all. I spoke to my mum and she played a massive role. My mum has moved from NSW up here for me and she loves it here.
“At the end of the day, I didn’t want to move somewhere and be unhappy. I’m glad I stayed here and I don’t regret the decision at all. It was the right call.
“I’m at the club now living my dream every day and I just didn’t want to walk away from that. The Broncos have done so much for me as a person and gave me an opportunity to put the Broncos jersey on.
“I feel home there and they are a part of me now.
“It would be ideal down the track to be a one-club player and maybe captain the Broncos, but that’s a long way away. Right now, I owe a lot of people at the Broncos. I just want to be the best person and player I can be.”
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