Alex McKinnon slams “disgusting” Test captain Cameron Smith over tackle slur

EXCLUSIVE EXTRACT: Alex McKinnon has opened up about his darkest times in the days and weeks after the sickening tackle which made him an ‘incomplete quadriplegic’. HOW ALEX FELT ON DARK DAYS | ‘TEIGAN KEPT ME UNBROKEN’

‘I didn’t want to be alive, I honestly didn’t’

ALEX McKinnon has opened up about his darkest times in the days and weeks after the sickening tackle which made him an ‘incomplete quadriplegic’.

“I didn’t want to be alive, I honestly didn’t,” he said. “I thought it was unfair for me to be alive.

“I just wanted to die. I didn’t want to be alive, I honestly thought it was torture.”

But these thoughts were met by his loving mother, Kate, that hold him how much she needed him in her life.

“I can’t live without you,” she said. “You are my life, and he said, ‘Just let me die, just let me go’, I never thought I would hear my son saying that.”

He also told 60 Minutes about the “disgusting” personal blame directed at him from people he “once had great respect for” — including Test captain Cameron Smith.

The 23-year-old accused Smith of blaming him for the tackle that has left him facing life in a wheelchair. McKinnon, who is still furious that Smith argued with the referee immediately after the tackle in March, 2014, says he has not heard from Smith since.

McKinnon’s explosive claim in last night’s television special is also detailed in his forthcoming autobiography, Unbroken.

On 60 Minutes, McKinnon watched the full replay of the game and describes Smith’s actions as “f...... ridiculous”.

In the book, McKinnon writes: “The outpouring of blame by people who I once had great respect for was nothing short of disgusting.”

The Melbourne Storm have issued a response to this story. Read here

“The Australian captain heard my screams and surely he would’ve noticed the white terror on my face,’’ he writes in a confronting chapter titled ‘Blame Game’.

“This wasn’t just another injury. Everyone at the ground and at home watching knew it was serious. Except Cameron Smith.”

On the field, Smith was heard to say to referees: “If he doesn’t duck his head — that doesn’t happen,” implying McKinnon had ducked his head at the last minute while heading towards the ground in the tackle, thus injuring his neck.

McKinnon is fuming that Smith has stood by his belief in subsequent interviews.

ALEX: An inspiration down to his bootlaces

Storm captain Cam Smith talks to the ref as McKinnon receives treatment.

McKinnon writes in the book: “I don’t want to crave anyone’s sympathy, as sympathy will not change my predicament.

“I have played the game since I was five. I have witnessed incidents on the field that happen in a split second that can’t be taken back or changed. Things just happen.

“But take a look at the replay on YouTube and you don’t need to look at it twice that this wasn’t just another lifting tackle.

Alex McKinnon with his fiance Teigan Power. Picture: Paul Barkley

Teigan has supported McKinnon throughout his recover: Picture: Facebook

Alex is now engaged to his long term partner, Teigan Power, and they hope to get married and have children one day.

“How can you go from loving someone to them getting injured and then not loving them,” she said.

The couple have no issues with any children they may have in the future playing rugby league if that’s what they would like to do.

“Of course they’ll play football,” he said. “They can do whatever they want to do.

“It doesn’t worry me”

However Tegan jokingly said, “Let’s hope we have girls”.

To buy the book, visit alexbook.com.au

Originally published as Alex McKinnon slams “disgusting” Test captain Cameron Smith over tackle slur