Gone in 67! The anatomy of England’s Ashes batting collapse at Headingley
Smart tactics and strong ticker (as well as generous hosts) reduced England to tears on a famous day at Headingley that has firmed the Ashes in Australian hands. The plans were as obvious as they were well-executed.
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Josh Hazlewood would’ve been forgiven for opening the blinds in his hotel room on Friday morning and crawling back to bed in a cold sweat.
The bright rays of sunshine popping through the windows were set to deliver England a paradise pitch to bat on, just 15 hours after Australia was skittled for 179.
The friendly conditions had former England captain Sir Alastair Cook talking up a 130-run lead on radio before the start of play.
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Instead, they trudged off the Leeds pitch eight hours later trailing by 283 runs and with the Ashes all but certain to be retained by an Australian team missing the near-invincible Steve Smith.
So, how did it happen?
Speaking five hours after Hazlewood bagged his fifth wicket to dismiss England for 67 runs (yes, 67 - sixty seven), he was still pinching himself.
“I can’t remember a day like this to be honest. It’s been fantastic,” Hazlewood said.
A clever blend of tactics and ticker reduced England to tears. The plans were as obvious as they were well-executed.
Hit the right length and do it over and over and over again.
Hazlewood would steam in and pitch the ball six or seven metres from the stumps, letting the Headingley pitch do the rest.
“Batsmen don’t like it there from any team, so I want to keep smashing that 6-7 meter length and hope the results take care of themselves,” Hazlewood said.
Hazlewood – who prepared for day two by gouging a bag of chicken on Thursday night, leaving none for Travis Head – has searched for less swing and more control this series and it has worked.
The meticulous bowling plans had bowling coach Troy Cooley’s fingerprints all over it.
Beyond the tactics was the ticker, which is, fittingly, exemplified by super substitute Marnus Labuschagne.
One of Justin Langer’s favourite sayings is: “He’s got that look in his eye at the moment”.
The Australian coach is a little fighter, and loves competitive beasts cut from the same cloth.
Labuschagne has that look in his eye and, on day two at Leeds, he unleashed a pack of Test cricketers with ‘that look’.
“He’s got some good guts and he’s a fighter,” Hazlewood said of Labuschagne, the standout batsmen since Smith was felled.
The killer mentality in Australian cricket is back, and when it had little reason to be.
With Smith sidelined with concussion and after a disappointing first day, this was the comeback nobody saw coming.
Not even the bay of Aussie fans, decked out in green jackets and yellow caps, colouring up the Headingley crowd believed captain Tim Paine’s men were in the third Test.
When England openers Jason Roy and Rory Burns marched to the crease they were entitled do so with a strut, given they carried all the momentum.
But the first ever combination of Hazlewood, Pat Cummins and James Pattinson – complemented by the safe hands of David Warner (four slips catches) – quickly seized it.
Roy, again, lasted less than four overs. The white-ball specialist couldn’t help but flash at a Hazlewood ball, as Warner gobbled up the first of those four catches in the first session.
He wasn’t alone. It was like Christmas for the Australian attack as England batsmen gifted their wickets away.
Roy, Ben Stokes, Joe Denly, Rory Burns and Jos Buttler all needlessly took on balls by throwing their bats, and their wickets away.
Stokes reached for a delivery 1.2 metres wide of the stumps, and the wild drive flew to Warner.
A Cummins’ bouncer, angled down the leg-side, grabbed Burns’ glove.
The combination of Pattinson-Cummins-Hazlewood is one Aussie selectors dreamt of years ago, when they were all promising youngsters.
Wow can’t quite believe what I’ve just watched. Outstanding from the Aussies and probably no words could describe the Poms.
— Mark Waugh (@juniorwaugh349) August 23, 2019
When the best moment of the day was a inflatable melon being thrown back in the ground you know it’s time for a Pint ... #OnOn #Ashes
— Michael Vaughan (@MichaelVaughan) August 23, 2019
And while they’re finally bowling together, they’re also bowling on a healthy edge.
“If you bowl poorly it may be your last game of the series, given how good the quicks are on the bench,” Hazlewood said.
“You look over and see Mitch Starc or Peter Siddle bringing a towel over to you at fine leg and you think ‘These guys should be playing’.”
An England collapse that sent the record books tumbling was born out of poor cricket shots and madcap batting.
Batting coach Graham Thorpe, speaking after England’s third sub-100 total this year, said four of his top six fell to “poor shots” played “outside the eyeline”.
Australia’s field set up even looked sharper.
Paine’s four-man Australian slips cordon was spread further than England’s five-man band on day one, when the hosts were almost standing in each other’s pockets.
To hear former England captain Michael Vaughan gush about the high-class skill of Australia’s bowling – most likely through gritted teeth – showed just how sweetly they hit the mark.
“’I’ll give credit to Australia’s bowlers, they bowled into very good areas,” Thorpe said.
“Test bowlers will bowl good deliveries and sometimes you won’t be able to do that much about it. I would say Joe’s (Root) delivery was an absolute beauty.”
That ball came from Hazlewood, and it inspired the Aussies.
“They follow him a little bit, he’s the leader, he’s the captain, he’s got the best average and he’s their best batsman going by numbers,” Hazlewood said.
“So if we can get him I think they can be vulnerable. The same as any team, if their best batter’s out you feel a bit more relaxed.”
Vulnerable? England was 6/54 at lunch and all-out just 23 balls and 13 runs later, the sweetest of desserts for the Aussie quicks.
There have been some epic Australian feats at Headingley. Sir Donald Bradman posted two triple-centuries here – 304 in 1934 and then a career-best 334 in 1934.
Then, in 1948, Bradman finished unbeaten on 173 as Australia was set 403 runs for victory and won by seven wickets.
In 1989, under Allan Border, an Australian team labelled the worst to tour England rolled the home team by 210 runs in the first Test at Leeds to set up a shock 4-0 Ashes win.
Steve Waugh (177 not-out), Mark Taylor (136) and Terry Alderman (5/107 and 5/44) led the charge.
Jason Gillespie’s career-best figures of 7/37 were recorded at Leeds when he tore through England in 1997, a Test Australia won by an innings and 61 runs.
The Don’s feats won’t be overtaken.
But, if Australia can deliver a shock victory without golden boy Smith to retain the Ashes, rolling England for 67 will take home the silver medal at the famous ground.
Hazlewood said that wouldn’t be a problem.
“Sixties is hard work to come back from during a Test,” he said.
“I don’t think many teams are winning if one of their innings is 60 or 70 runs.
“If we (bowlers) start well again next innings, they might think ‘here we go again’ so it’s about creating that doubt in the mind.”