St Kilda dominates Carlton in forgettable Friday night fixture
ST Kilda has feasted on the Carlton in a Friday night fizzer that that was as forgettable as a bad slasher flick. Glenn McFarlane wonders is the AFL fixturing department attempted to schedule its own instalment of the Friday The 13th franchise.
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B-GRADE slasher movies notoriously go to script.
The young and the innocent always seem vulnerable; and you know what’s going to happen even before it does.
So it proved tonight in the AFL fixturing department’s attempt to schedule its own instalment of the Friday The 13th franchise — perhaps even mixing in a touch of Hitchcockian black humour — when St Kilda feasted on a lacklustre Carlton on a night to forget at Etihad Stadium.
WORST EVER?: FANS SLAM BLUES CLASH STRIP
BAD BLUES: KREUZER RULED OUT, LAMB IN TROUBLE?
MATCH CENTRE: SAINTS-BLUES SCORES, STATS, SUPERCOACH
Saints star Seb Ross was a late withdrawal, so sick that he could barely get out of bed. It’s a fair bet that the broadcasters of last night’s game might be afflicted with the same symptoms when they think about the ratings of this match.
To put it mildly, this one was a shocker. It was thankfully minus the blood and gore, but with a number of casualties, and with countless turnovers and elementary mistakes that would have even been left on the cutting room floor of a low-budget Hollywood horror show.
Former Collingwood star Dane Swan handed the AFL some novel advice as he sat on the couch at home trying to watch his old mate Dale Thomas.
Swanny tweeted: “Carlton should play on Monday arvos when everyone is at work, so no one has to watch ‘em. Floating fixture for Friday night games, please!”
Carlton should play on Monday arvo’s when everyone is at work so no one has to watch em. Floating fixture for Friday night games please
— Dane Swan (@swandane) July 13, 2018
In fairness, even as far back as late last year, when the AFL was pencilling in its 2018 draw, this St Kilda-Carlton never going to be of the sort of quality and competitiveness that fans — and the broadcasters — savour for the marquee night.
Last night’s 64-point result will however start the debate once more about floating fixtures and whether the AFL needs to look at ending the certain of its fixture to adopt one that can be altered throughout the season.
That’s not necessarily the two clubs’ fault, even if they contributed to the spectacle, though the Saints’ fans among the 33,780 in attendance (not a bad crowd considering the match was billed all week as mockbuster rather than a genuinely anticipated contest) would have been happy with the four points.
Carlton’s plight was always going to be tough, but it became even so much more arduous when they lost ruckman Matthew Kreuzer early in the opening term. Clearly in pain, and experiencing shortness of breath, he was assisted down to the rooms, with the club doctors calling for paramedics for assistance.
He never re-emerged, and the Blues were left to pinch-hit against Saints’ ruckman Tom Hickey with Charlie Curnow, Harry McKay and at times Liam Jones.
Still, the Saints did what they had to, and with some genuine talent shown by the likes of Jack Steven and Jack Billings, they have now won four games in a largely forgettable season, with three of those coming in the last four matches.
Steven and Billings provided the class, Tim Membrey and Rowan Marshall provided plenty in attack, and Jack Newnes and Luke Dunstan had plenty of influence.
Patrick Cripps was tireless and racked up a game-high 35 disposals, but simply was asked to do too much once again. He had few to assist him, though Zac Fisher showed some good signs again, Charlie Curnow did all that he could, and McKay showed a few flashes, including dragging down seven marks.
But the Blues are in a world of hurt, and it won’t get any easier for the remainder of the year as the credits roll on yet another lamentable season.
SCOREBOARD
ST KILDA 4.5 8.10 14.14 16.20 (116)
d
CARLTON 3.3 5.5 6.8 7.10 (52)
GOALS
St Kilda: Membrey 3, Newnes 3, Marshall 2, Billings 2, Steven 2, Lonie, Sinclair, Steele, Weller
Carlton: Cripps, C.Curnow, Fisher, Kennedy, Pickett, Thomas, Simpson
VOTES — GLENN MCFARLANE
3: Jack Steven (St Kilda)
2: Jack Billings (St Kilda)
1: Patrick Cripps (Carlton)
BEST - GLENN MCFARLANE
St Kilda: Steven, Billings, Newnes, Membrey, Steele, Sinclair, Dunstan, Marshall
Carlton: Cripps, Fisher, Murphy, C Curnow, E Curnow
INJURIES
St Kilda: Ross (illness) replaced in selected side by Rice, Webster (groin)
Carlton: Kreuzer (elevated heart rate, shortness of breath)
Umpires: Dalgleish, Stevic, Gianfagna
Official crowd: 33,780 at Etihad Stadium
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