Richmond FC vs. Adelaide Crows: Which AFL Grand Final side has the best team song?
RICHMOND’s team song has regularly topped polls as the best club theme song, and it will maul their South Australian opponents at the MCG this weekend, writes Mikey Cahill.
Richmond
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STAND-up comedians often gauge a room by using this opening line: “It’s good to be here, ladies and gentlemen. I was in Adelaide last night so it’s good to be anywhere.”
Adelaide is the perennial whipping boy of Australian state capital cities. And based on the two club songs, The Tigers will maul their South Australian opponents. In short, The Richmond victory anthem murders the Crows.
In our Footy Fans survey in 2014, the great Glenny McFarlane rated the Tigers song number one. Adelaide’s ranked a lowly 11.
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McFarlane wrote” One of the most stirring anthems in football, especially its penultimate line. It has regularly topped polls as the best club theme song. Entertainer and tap dancer Jack Malcomson wrote the words at the request of committeeman Alf Barnett to the tune of ‘Row. Row. Row’.
The Tigers wanted a song that they could sing on interstate trips away. Malcolmson obliged: “I’d written a few songs, and I was asked to write a nice, bouncy one for Richmond.” Initially, he felt something was missing, so he added “Yellow and Black” line to the song, and the rest is history.
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The scoreboard doesn’t lie.
1. Richmond 30.63% (3,952 votes)
11. Adelaide Crows 3.15% (406 votes)
Let’s get forensic with the two club songs and get right into the DNA of each.
ADELAIDE FC
The Crows’ beginning is far too generic (it’s based on the Marine’s Hymn after all. A hymn? Hmmm.)
“We’re the pride of South Australia”
Let me stop you there, champ. The pride of South Australia? Not a football team that wears a jumper that looks like a failed Dick Smith Vegemite and Tomato Sauce venture. Disgusting. The pride of South Australia includes the following: Barossa Valley Shiraz, Lindsay Gaze (recently inducted in the NBA Hall of Fame), Sir Donald Bradman, Kate Fischer (Sirens era), Sia, Lake Eyre (Sirens era) and the Big Lobster.
“And we’re known as the Adelaide Crows”
NB: formerly “Camry Crows”. Corporate sellouts.
Adelaide’s song has already painted itself into a corner: “We’re courageous, stronger, faster”
You daft punks, it’s “harder, better, faster, stronger”
“And respected by our foes”
Nobody has used the term “foes” since He-Man was a popular cartoon in 1986.
“Admiration of the nation”
You nongs, it’s “Celebration of the Nation” and it’s Brisbane 1988 #thebicentenary
“Our determination shows”
OK, you have Charlie Cameron, fair play.
“We’re the pride of South Australia”
Doubling down won’t help.
“We’re the mighty Adelaide Crows”
The Hawks’ song mentions “mighty”, you copy-crows.
“We give our best from coast to coast”
AFL games are not played on the beach. This isn’t Gallipoli.
“Where the story will be told, As we fight the rugged battles”
This is offensive to all soldiers who have served, past and present.
“The flag will be our goal”
Don’t count your Crows’ eggs before they hatch.
“Our skill and nerve will see us through”
Actually I’ll pay that. It takes both skill and nerve to see through a glass of South Australian water
“Our commitment ever grows”
Ever grows? This is like David Brent’s Simply The Best motivational speech. Lame.
“We’re the pride of South Australia”
Try: Hilltop Hoods, Anthony Lapaglia, Coorong National Park, Adam Elliott, Rundle Mall, Snowtown.
“We’re the mighty Adelaide Crows”
Zzzzz.
RICHMOND FC
Meanwhile, The Tigers get straight into it.
“Oh we’re from Tigerland, A fighting fury, We’re from Tigerland”
The “Oh” is wonderfully passive aggressive. Like “Oh, you wanna play at the MCG? Reeeeally!? That’s in Richmond. Richhhhhmond.”
“In any weather you will see us with a grin”
Cue: Four Seasons in One Day by Crowded House, a song Neil Finn wrote about the Richmond Football Club’s innate ability to smile despite atmospheric extremities.
“Risking head and shin”
And possible suspension (you had us worried, Trent)
“If we’re behind then never mind”
Cue: Dane Swan tweeting filth about Dustin Martin.
“We’ll fight and fight and win”
I believe it was Plato who said “Focus not on the goals Betts gets, but the way Martin’s opponents eat Dust”
“For we’re from Tigerland, We never weaken til the final siren’s gone”
Please be true please be true.
“Like the Tiger of old”
1920, 1921, 1932, 1934, 1943, 1967, 1969, 1973, 1974, 1980 … 2017?
“We’re strong and we’re bold”
Strong = 94,200 out of 94,258 supporters last week at the MCG versus the Giants.
Bold = taking the coach’s daughter to the Brownlow.
“For we’re from Tiiiiiiigerrrrr”
So much antici.......pation (37 years worth)
“Yellow and Black”
Ooooh that’s feels good. Any footy fan can get into that.
“We’re from Tigerland”
Tigerland, one word, like Premiership.
Email michael.cahill@news.com.au
@joeylightbulb
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