Why Melbourne fans have a score to settle with Hawthorn in semi-final
SICK of those text messages from Hawthorn fans? This is a chance to end all that — and get some revenge for Jim Stynes. Melbourne supporters have plenty of reasons to settle a score with Hawthorn on Friday night.
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THERE’S a fine line between hatred and respect when it comes to footy.
As with the ancient Romans who loved watching gladiatorial games and bayed for blood, we all lose our heads at AFL matches and start cheering every bump, push and unsavoury act by our men and simultaneously castigate similar actions by members of the opposing side.
Some players make your blood boil even more than normal - Toby Greene, for example, took this game to new levels last week with his Kung Fu Panda audition.
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The same applies to clubs and while the Tigers and their passionate band of Dusty fans are spiralling up everyone’s most hated charts, it’s the Hawks who are the No.1 enemy for most Demon fans.
And it’s not because they are like a daggy cousin turning up in brown and gold (poohs and wees) attire at your wedding when everyone else is dressed fashionably.
Nor is it the way almost every Hawthorn fan has figured out where to find the premiership cup emoji on their iPhone – which they send to finish every argument, usually with repeat cups and a gratuitous sledge: “This is how many we’ve won since your last one.”
In fact, if you can find a Hawk fan with more than just basic maths (a rarity, I know), they might even have figured out that their 12 flags since 1964 is as many as the Dees have won in history, so 12 emojis come your way with an apple icon and a smug: “These weren’t even invented when you last won one.”
Most Hawk fans remember all too well the aborted merger of 1996, which was a defining moment – almost like the day Harry Potter found out his inner-chemistry was somehow linked with Lord Voldemort’s.
The last game of 1996 between the two planned merging sides was a cracker. Jason Dunstall kicked a ton, a young David Neitz marked almost everything and in the end the Hawks won by a point – as they always seem to do.
Even Alastair Clarkson played that night – for the Demons, mind you – which may explain why he has been so good at figuring out our tactics over the years.
While everyone is quick to point out the passion of Chris Langford, who took off his Hawk jumper and pointed to his chest Nicky Winmar style, could it be that he really just didn’t like the colours and thought he was finally getting rid of them?
Certainly, the Hawks were the beneficiaries of the aborted merger – their administrators got their act together and reinvigorated their club, moving to Waverley to be closer to Don Scott’s home on the peninsula.
The Dees ended up moving from Junction Oval to a paddock near town, which — ironically, given that the No.1 requirement of every player nowadays is to be close to a good coffee shop — is a godsend.
But I digress.
For any Dee fan that is older than 50, Hawk hatred comes with one name - Leigh Matthews.
Most of you will have heard about the Neville Bruns moment in 1985, but really the Dees were on the receiving end of the little Hawthorn champion the most.
Three times Melbourne coaches decided to play taller opponents to quell the influence on the Hawk legend. Three times they were carried off on a stretcher. Stephen Smith, Alan Jarrott and Peter Giles all came a cropper.
Lethal played against us 27 times for 24 wins. Thank goodness there were no emojis back then. In fact, the only time I can recall walking away from Princes Park happy was in 1984 when Gerard Healy put in a vintage game.
By the time Lethal retired he had a clone (some would say clown) in Robert DiPierdomenico, a champion wingman who could dish out the punishment in a similar way.
The last Melbourne finals fairytale was in 1987 and revolved around club icon Robbie Flower, who was retiring at the end of that season.
The Cinderella story had grown wings with seven straight victories leading the Tulip-inspired Dees to an unexpected preliminary final against .... Hawthorn, of course.
Three goals up early, in stepped Dipper to iron out Flower, with a shoulder injury that would most likely have seen him miss the Grand Final.
It was a brutal game with Brian Wilson and Ricky Jackson also injured along with Hawk defender Chris Mew.
Three easy misses in time-on by Simon Eishold, Graeme Yeats and Tony Campbell were costly, but the game is memorable because of the way a loveable Irishman by the name of Jim Stynes, who was in his first year and didn’t know the rules, ran across the mark.
With the benefit of a 15m penalty (they weren’t 50m back then) up stepped Gary Buckenara to spoil the party.
On Friday night the Dees take on the Hawks again and my dream is that there is another defining moment involving a first-year Irish player.
This time I want to see Connor Nash give away a 50m penalty for some innocuous reason like standing aimlessly 15m to the left of Max Gawn after he’s taken a mark on the members wing – that’s a free these days.
Then I want to see Gawny nail the ensuing matchwinner, take off his shirt, point to his chest and tell Daisy on Channel 7, “That was for Jimmy”.
Now that would be karma, poohs and wees style.
Chris Muirden is a long-suffering Melbourne supporter and Sunday Herald Sun sport production editor
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