Grand Final parade: Why the changes to tradition didn’t work and what the AFL can do to fix it
It was pitched as a once-in-a-lifetime event with 250,000 fans watching on. But it didn’t hit those lofty heights. This is why and what the AFL can do to fix the Grand Final parade.
Geelong
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The AFL’s events team might just have mixed up the preliminary final with the Grand Final parade.
Friday’s first attempt at a flotilla of barges being dragged down the Yarra River has been pitched by Gill McLachlan as a once-in-a-lifetime event with 250,000 enraptured fans watching on.
As it turned out, it was an honourable fail.
The preliminary finals are so spectacular, so full of drama and hype, that they don’t need blaring music after every goal to try to heighten the spectacle.
That is exactly what the parade needed to get the fans into the mood.
The new-look parade along the Yarra over-promised and under-delivered.
Maskless fans flooded the city in colours of all clubs and many took up spots close to the Princes Bridge in anticipation of the boats turning close to the heart of the city.
Instead it quickly became apparent they were turning hundreds of metres closer to the MCG, so a stampede of fans surged closer to the action.
When they got there the players on barges were still hard to spot.
Is that Buddy Franklin with the beanie?
Hang on, it’s Paddy McCartin.
Swans mascot Cyggie got a huge cheer because fans could actually spot his massive head rather than squint to identify players.
It desperately needed Patrick Dangerfield dangling a rod from his fishing boat, but to be honest it was impossible to know from the banks of the Yarra if ‘Danger’ was even there.
The AFL should try again next year but they need a hype man identifying players and some tunes to fire up the masses.
Instead it was all strangely flat as fans wandered away a little disappointed at the anti-climax.
The usual street parade with fans crowded on Spring Street at least has a focal point as the premiership cup is presented.
And if the fans are six-deep along crowded CBD streets at least they are close enough to get a look at the stars of the game.
The sloping banks of the Yarra should have provided a perfect backdrop because kids could witness the show, but instead they needed binoculars to spot their favourite AFL star.
And without some commentary and big screen TV close-ups it was all over in a flash without the feeling those kids had been within touching distance of their football idols.
Some would have wandered down to the MCG live site to see the presentation of the cup but in the fan crush most instead moved on.
Robbie Williams and Delta will save the day tomorrow as the AFL’s grand final entertainment goes into overdrive.
But it is back to the drawing board for the events team for a parade bold in concept but not compelling enough to live up to the hype.
‘I’M NOT MUCH OF A PIRATE’: TUOHY
Geelong defender Zach Tuohy wasn’t all that keen on the pontoon parade.
“I’m not much of a pirate,” he said.
“I’m basically made out of lead - if I go overboard, I’m in strife. Water’s not for me, generally. I’m much more at home on the golf course, so I’ll get through it.”
Cat Mark Blicavs said players had a nervous moment when they spotted smaller “Go Boats” sitting on the banks of the Yarra.
“We bussed up and we saw the little dinghies on the other side and we were thinking ‘oh, they’re a bit small’,” he laughed.
“But we saw this (the barge) - it’s nice, it’ll be good.”
FANS LEFT ‘DISAPPOINTED’ BY REVAMPED PARADE
Several footy fans told the Herald Sun they were “disappointed” at the Grand Final parade being held along the river.
Geelong supporter Peter Bicknell, who travelled from Shepparton, said the parade was “extremely disappointing”.
“We’ve travelled for two and a half hours with our grandchildren and they couldn’t see anything,” he said.
“We got a map beforehand and the security guards told us the boats were coming up to the bridge, but they didn’t - they turned around 300m from the bridge,” he said.
Swans supporter Sharon Calllan said she also didn’t enjoy the Grand Final parade being along the river.
“The atmosphere was really different this year, I definitely prefer the street parade as you are closer to the action,” she said.
“The whole thing was just too quick and it just wasn’t as exciting.”
‘WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS GRAND FINAL FOREVER’
Friends Doug Clark and Alyse Lyall, who travelled from Sydney, said they were “ecstatic” to be at the Grand Final parade.
“We’re absolutely stoked to be here, the Grand Final parade has been great and we can’t wait to watch the game,” he said.
“This is really once in a lifetime for us - half of my family goes for the Cats, we’ve been waiting for this Grand Final forever.
“We’re so thrilled that Covid is over and that we can be here to celebrate this.”
‘I’VE KEPT IT PRETTY SIMPLE’: BLAKEY
There is plenty of red and white in Melbourne today, much to the delight of Sydney defender Nick Blakey.
“No doubt we will have a lot of support at the game tomorrow,” he said.
“South Melbourne fans and Sydney fans in general are so loyal. No matter where we play we usually have a good showing.”
Blakey is playing in his first grand final tomorrow and is hoping it is not as close as the club’s thrilling one-point win over Collingwood last week.
“Really good (preparation), I’ve kept it pretty simple,” he said.
“It is exciting to be down here in Melbourne now. I can’t wait for tomorrow.”
‘IT WAS A BIT LIKE THELMA AND LOUISE’
Swans supporters Jackie Graham, 79, and son-in-law Paul Batfay, 45, have driven down from the NSW suburb of Toongabbie for the weekend.
Both have been Swans members for more than 25 years and were happy to spend 10 hours in the car together.
“It was a bit like Thelma and Louise,” Mr Batfay said.
“The rest of our family barrack for the Giants so it’s just us.”
Ms Graham said the atmosphere ahead of the Grand Final parade was exceptional but she wasn’t a fan of Melbourne’s gloomy weather.
“I attend most games,” she said.
“I love the Swans. It’s a nervous wait.”
Should the Bloods win, the pair are hoping to source West Coast coolers to celebrate.
“First I’ll probably have a stroke,” Mr Batfay said.
“We’re extremely confident though. Paddy McCartin for Norm Smith.”
FANS HIT THE STREETS AND THE WATER
The parade will pass gate three of the MCG and end in Yarra Park, with players presented on stage in the Yarra Park Grand Final footy festival at 11.40am.
The ceremony is expected to finish about 12.30pm, after the Grand Final captains and coaches conduct their final pre-match press conferences in front of fans for the first time.
Club mascots, AFL Auskickers and the premiership cup will take part in the parade, alongside Geelong and Sydney.
This year’s changes mark only the fifth time the parade has had alterations since 1977.
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