Retiring Collingwood star Dane Swan has provided endless highlights on and off the field
DANE Swan was never far away from the action on the field. He also has a reel of endless highlights off it. Here are some of his best moments.
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COVERED from head to toe in tattoos and armed with an ability to win the football like few others, there will never be another Dane Swan.
But it isn’t just his on field antics which will ensure Swan is never forgotten.
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The only thing quicker than his football brain is his wit.
Whether he is being interviewed on live TV, giving a speech in front of a packed audience or speaking to his legion of social media followers, Swan always knows exactly what to say to get a laugh.
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With the superstar Magpie announcing his retirement, here are some of Swan’s most memorable off-field moments.
Meeting Miranda Kerr
By 2010 it was no secret that Swan was a genuine star of the competition.
As his on-field profile exploded so too did his reputation for giving a great interview.
Just 24 hours after Collingwood had booked its place in the 2010 grand final, Swan sat down with Channel 10s Before the Game.
On a panel full of professional comedians, the midfield marvel more than held his own. His assessment of meeting Miranda Kerr was a standout moment.
Anzac Day Message
Swan has always been vocal that he loves everything about playing football on a weekend but when it comes to the seemingly endless midweek meetings and training sessions, he can happily go without.
In 2012, his training methods came under fire when questions were raised about his playing weight.
Off to bed with a bucket of KFC. Yummy!!#piesforbrealfast
— Dane Swan (@swandane) April 16, 2012
The star Magpie responded in a way only he could.
Playing against arch-rival Essendon in an Anzac Day blockbuster, Swan produced one of the plays of the game when he burst out of a pack, broke a tackle and kicked a vital goal to give Collingwood the lead.
As he was running back to his teammates, Swan gave his belly a rub, silencing the doubters.
2013 Copeland Trophy Speech
The end of Nathan Buckley’s second season as coach brought about a huge change at Magpie land with the “rat-pack” shown the door.
Heath Swan was traded to Greater Western Sydney while Dale Thomas used free agency to join Carlton.
In front of a packed room at the Copeland Trophy, Swan outlined his main concerns about the changes while making his runners-up speech.
“To the players, we have a great bunch of guys here even though all my friends left,” he said.
“I thought I was going to be sitting at a table on my own tonight. I managed to find a couple of friends.”
The Tattoos Come Off
Since joining Collingwood in 2001, Swan has transformed his body to be covered in tattoos.
But in 2013 he gave the world a reminder of what he used to look like. With the help of some very talented make-up specialists, Swan pranked his unsuspecting teammates by reverting back to his cleanskin ways.
When he whipped off his jacket in the middle of a team meeting, there were plenty of surprised looks but no one fell for it as hard as assistant coach Robert Harvey.
AFL Record Interview
Player question and answer articles can be a little dull sometimes but Swan took it upon himself to keep his as entertaining as possible. Speaking to the AFL record, Swan knocked it out of the park.
What is the coach’s favourite saying? Give the ball to Pendles.
Outside of footy, what would your dream job be? To stick the stickers on apples.
If you could appear on one TV show, what would it be? Crime Stoppers.
Your favourite football TV show? The Hangar.
Your funniest teammate? We don’t have one anymore. They all left.
Clearing Things Up
Swan has always looked on the lighter side of most things, even when he was just moments away from potential danger.
In 2013, Swan and Dale Thomas narrowly missed a robbery when they returned to a hotel they were staying at in the off-season.
A newspaper report listed Swan as being “seen by The Daily Telegraph walking toward the hotel using an orange traffic cone as a megaphone to yell at passing cars.”
Swan quickly cleared up any misunderstanding.
For the record I was no where near an orange traffic cone all night. #mistakenidentity #noabuseyelled and I did not rob the hotel either
— Dane Swan (@swandane) January 28, 2013`
Brownlow Medal Speech
He went into the 2010 Brownlow Medal as the hot favourite but it wasn’t until the following year that Swan was up on the podium being interviewed by Bruce McAvaney as the eventual winner.
As usual Swan produced the funniest moments of the night, this time as he was being asked about his relationship with girlfriend Taylor Wilson.
“We met in a bar actually, funnily enough,” he said.
“That’s unlike me. She was actually visiting out from the States and I just happened to run into her out at a bar and I couldn’t get rid of her. Now she is here four years later. She is the hardest tag I’ve had.”
Brownlow Medal Spider Man
Before he was a household name, Swan nearly pulled off one of the all-time great Brownlow Medal surprises.
Having not been invited to the event in 2008, Swan surged to 16 votes from 14 rounds and looked like a legitimate chance to take out the award.
But where was the Collingwood superstar? He was sitting on his couch dressed in a Spider Man costume. Beside him on the couch were Robin Hood (Alan Didak) and Superman (Guy Richards).
“We were sitting there having a few beers and we watched the Brownlow, and more and more votes just kept coming in,” he said.
“My parents were more excited for me than I was, but it is something I enjoyed. Who doesn’t like getting votes in the Brownlow? It was good fun.”
Collingwood Twitter Takeover
Not even a badly broken foot in the opening minutes of the 2016 season has put a dampener on Swan’s antics.
In Round 14, Swan took over the Collingwood Twitter account for the club’s Friday night clash with Fremantle.
The Twitter takeover has been done plenty of times before but no-one has quite stuck the landing like Swan.
In what was an otherwise dull game, Swan ensured there was still plenty of interest in the clash with his brand of humour. It didn’t matter if you were a first gamer, an off-season recruit or a club star, no one was safe.
I like varcoe's idea to lock the ball in fwd half by kicking it out on the full. #footysmarts
— CollingwoodFC (@CollingwoodFC) June 24, 2016
Like clokeys unselfishness to put that ball out of bounds instead of marking it.. Great team footy
— CollingwoodFC (@CollingwoodFC) June 24, 2016
Nice by that young kid to kick his first goal.. I'll have to meet him Monday
— CollingwoodFC (@CollingwoodFC) June 24, 2016
A lot of people are asking if lifting a beer or wine counts as weights. Well in short - yes
— CollingwoodFC (@CollingwoodFC) June 24, 2016
Twitter Greatness
From the moment he joined Twitter in September 2010, Swan has been one of the AFL’s most entertaining tweeters. Here are some of his best:
Life tip no 1 - don't be at a bar in Sydney when the bledisloe cup is on and go change and change the channel to the pies.. Doesn't go well
— Dane Swan (@swandane) August 20, 2016
Love driving past revolver on way to training on sat/sun mornings and seeing all the spritely and fresh people up and about heading in there
— Dane Swan (@swandane) August 2, 2013
If I win the lotto tonight good luck getting me to training tomorrow...#oranydayinthenearfuture
— Dane Swan (@swandane) May 8, 2012
Just found out the guy who invented the remote control passed away.. R.I.P my good man..#bestinventionever#smarterthaneinstein
— Dane Swan (@swandane) May 24, 2012
I don't think I ever feel better about myself than when I pull over to let an ambulance or fire engine pass me. Good deed done for the month
— Dane Swan (@swandane) August 25, 2015
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