David Papley on his son Tom’s on-field antics and when he almost quit Sydney to help his family in Bunyip

Tom Papley’s father David has revealed how the Swans star threatened to walk away from the AFL as he dealt with the turmoil of a family issue which prompted his trade request to Carlton.

Tom Papley was prepared to give it all away. As his family endured a personal crisis across 2019 in the Gippsland town of Bunyip, Papley chose the people close to him over the football club he loved.

His father David chokes up with emotion as he recalls those dramatic months where Papley wanted out of Sydney and the Swans instead told him he was going nowhere.

It was a period that broke — then restored — a father-son friendship that now includes twice-weekly phone calls to discuss life as well as their underperforming racehorses.

THE FAILED PAPLEY TRADE: WHERE WOULD SWANS BE NOW?

“We have three horses together, but I have told (wife) Susie we only have two … one should be dog food and one is still going around,” David Papley says with a chuckle down the phone line from Bunyip.

Tom Papley (centre) with family, including dad David (second from left) after the Swans' preliminary final win over Port Adelaide.

And yet ask him about those turbulent months and he pauses to compose himself, talking about his son’s potential sacrifice. In the most difficult period of Tom Papley’s career, father David’s battles with bipolar disorder meant the family was going through personal challenges and Tom felt helpless and guilty 900km away in Sydney.

It came to a head with a confrontation in Bunyip between Tom and David that saw son realise dad wasn’t well.

He requested a trade to Carlton to be closer to his wider family, even if he didn’t exactly tell the family why he wanted to come home.

“I was not really home; I was a bit crook and Susie was on her own with the kids,” David Papley told the Herald Sun this week.

“He (Tom) just felt useless. And he wanted to be there for his mum. He said he was going to give it away. He said, ‘If they don’t clear me I will come and play twos (reserves) at Bunyip’. He was adamant. He got it into his head that he wanted to come home, and that was it. It was going to happen.

“In the end he stayed and it was obviously the best thing he did. He went through a patch and we were proud of the reason why (he wanted to come home). As a parent you are pretty chuffed.”

Papley was prepared to give football away to be with his dad.

It took until the following September for Papley to decide he would remain at Sydney and commit for the long haul after his 2019 trade failed to go through because the Swans could not replace him with Joe Daniher as Essendon held firm.

Father and son are tighter than ever, even if it took those fraught moments in mid-2019 for the pair to better understand David’s journey through bipolar as their friendship grew closer.

“Yeah, we had a bit of an argument one night and it did strengthen ties,” David says.

“We moved on and he rings me twice a week. It’s good. We are good mates with his fiance Annie’s parents, so we go to games together. It was a great feeling in the rooms after the finals win.”

As Tom says, his dad David is now “flying”, in a good space with his mental health as the town of Bunyip gets behind their boy.

A young Tom Papley in Bunyip colours

Tom Papley playing for Bunyip

Tom explained that chapter a year later as he said of the confrontation: “During the year I had a few beers with the old man and had a bit of an argument. He’s actually got bipolar so that turned into a little bit of an episode”.

“I’ve never really spoken about it, not many people actually know.

“Then he had a bit of an episode, I sort of felt that guilt, that it was my fault.

“I’ve been able to speak about it with my old man – this is probably the first time I’ve told my mates. My old man’s flying, now he’s happy to talk about it.”

Papley was famously overlooked across a number of drafts until he kicked three goals for Casey in the VFL on Jimmy Bartel (returning from injury) to spark the interest of Sydney.

Now he wears the No. 11 jumper of grandfather Max, who won South Melbourne’s 1966 best-and-fairest, with his other grandfather Jeff Bray also a Swans player who played alongside Max.

Papley playing for Gippsland Power.

Max Papley (left) and Tommy Lahiff after a South Melbourne victory.

“It’s such a great ride,” says David Papley. “Coming from a little community, everyone is on board. People might not barrack for the Swans, but the amount of messages I have had since Sunday is amazing. It’s been a great journey so far. It was pretty hard when he moved to Sydney from Bunyip. His mum took it pretty hard. She wasn’t that keen on her little boy going interstate. He missed out on some drafts and we were going out to buy in a van for plumbing and then (Sydney recruiter) Kinnear (Beatson) rang.”

Max Papley doesn’t go to the football much any more, but speaks to Tom on game day every week. As David says, he would have watched the preliminary final five times by now.

Both of them shake their heads at the crazy and provocative antics of football’s agent provocateur.

Tom and Max Papley in the Sydney rooms.

“There are times I would like to grab him by the scruff of the neck when he is putting on his performance,” Max said this week.

“But anyway, it seems to work. It seems to put his opponents off their game.

“It amuses me that people you see in the street want to talk about the way he carries on rather than the goals he kicked or the goals he gave away. I said you never used to be like that in the TAC Cup, how come now? And he said they told me to be more expressive.

“So they might have got more than they bargained for. People love him or absolutely hate him, but that’s the way he goes about it.”

David Papley says his son’s on-field antics can be “cringe-worthy”.

Papley and the Swans are aiming to avenge their disappointment from two years ago.

David can only laugh when his son goes off on the field.

“The way he carries on, sometimes it just f---ing cringe-worthy. He is a bloody idiot,” he says with a laugh.

“But it gets under their skin. It stirs them up and gets them off their game. I used to call him Ballantyne. After that annoying little shit (Hayden Ballantyne). But as Horse (John Longmire) said to him, it gets under their skin. He’s had a few fines for being a dickhead, so he won’t learn.”

The Papleys will support their son on Saturday, aware of what a premiership would mean after he won 20 possessions and kicked a goal in the 2022 Grand Final but his side was trounced.

“I played in five losing ones before I won one, so there is nothing worse. This is his third Grand Final so it would be enormous. That Geelong one was so hard to watch. It was devastating. It was like a morgue in the rooms. You don’t say anything … He was pretty upset, but it makes them stronger.”

Tom Papley launches from long range 🎯#AFLGiantsSwanspic.twitter.com/4p3KCiJga6

— AFL (@AFL) June 22, 2024

The Bunyip football club also produced AFL players in Shane Mumford and Max’s grandsons Michael Ross and Ben Ross, with Shane’s 2012 premiership celebrations still living long in the memory.

Papley might eclipse them if his side can conquer Brisbane on Saturday but it will also be a victory for the town.

Are the Papleys or Mumford more famous in Bunyip?

“Nah, it’s about the same,” says David.

“Hopefully we have put it on the map. It’s great for our little footy club to get four kids drafted out of that club. We are pretty proud down here about that.”