‘I’m still broken’: Emotional Brian Lake opens up about hitting ‘rock bottom’
Triple premiership player Brian Lake has opened up on tumultuous period in his life, which included the breakdown of his marriage, ending up in a Japanese jail and going to rehab.
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Hawthorn and Western Bulldogs champion Brian Lake has opened up on a tumultuous period in his life that left him "broken" during an interview on Fox Footy's Open Mike.
Lake struggled through 2018 and early 2019 as his marriage broke down and his mother passed away. He later found trouble in Japan, where he spent six days in prison, and was regularly turning to alcohol and drugs to self-medicate before entering rehab.
“I'm broken, and I find I'm still broken,” he told Mike Sheahan. “But it's understanding what I've learned and putting it into practice.”
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Lake’s most difficult moment came when he was found at home late on a Friday night “in a state”.
“That was the phone call that you fear,” his manager Marty Pask said on Open Mike.
“It was about 10 o’clock on a Friday night ... Brian had obviously got himself in a state. We had to put him back into the facility and help him, and that was just about the rock bottom that looking back in reflection, Brian needed to really start looking at what was going on.”
Lake explained he had taken too many sleeping pills and drunk too much red wine.
"When I was struggling with the thoughts, and struggling with sleep, I did go to the doctors to get sleeping medication to help get into a sleeping pattern,” he said.
“If it's sleeping at 11, waking up at 7, because the sleep is the most important thing ... that Friday night, I was sitting in the movie room.
“Just having a glass of red, had a couple of sleeping pills to help me get to sleep that night, and then I got caught texting Shannon (his now ex-wife) at that stage, and going on about was happening. Started drinking a little bit more red, then going out and grabbing a couple more pills.
“And I still don't know why. All I remember was waking up in the hospital.
“My brother came and picked me up in the morning and obviously I was still out of it, dazed. Marty had been speaking to him throughout the night.
“My brother took me back to the hospital straight away where I spent 10 days there. It ended up being probably 20 or 30 sleeping pills that I took at that stage.
“Looking at it now, probably what saved me was that my stepson was there. And probably I ended up drinking three bottles of red, which I got told would help because I just threw everything up in the ambulance when it arrived. I don't know what I was doing."
Lake said he saw similarities between his mental health battles and with what Danny Frawley’s widow revealed before the St Kilda great’s funeral.
Anita Frawley said ‘Spud’ felt he had “beaten the disease” and took himself off his medication.
Lake did the same thing while playing at Hawthorn, and he recognised it impacting his performance at training and even in an AFL match.
"I fought it since I started medication, about that I was OK, that I was chopping and changing medication because of the side effects I was having with some of them,” he said.
“I'd have a good two or three months that I was feeling good, I'd think well, I probably don't need to take them now. I'm back on track, I'm back to normal Brian, and I'd be OK. Don't take the medication for three or four days.
“Get to the club, the side effects are coming off straight away. Dizzy, can't focus, and I've missed training sessions for it. I missed probably three or four in that three-year period (at Hawthorn) where I thought I was OK.
“It even happened on one of the game days - I didn't take my medication with me and I struggled through the game. I couldn't focus, blurry vision, agitated, because I thought, I'm OK.
“I battled with that for five or six years, and what I felt was the medication was just a band-aid. It was just to try and get me level. But the issues I was dealing with were still there, the underlying issues I was dealing with. Understanding myself. Accepting that I had an issue.”
It was three months ago when Lake says he finally accepted that issue.
“And since then, seeing a psychologist every fortnight, paying attention more to sleep, to routine and structure,” he said.
“That's what I've rebelled against since I've finished football, I've just thought well, I've been forced to do this. I've been forced to be here at this time, do this, do that. But in hindsight I needed that - that's what kept me sane for a long period of time.
“It was only until that was taken away and I thought, nah I'm OK, but now realising, jeez I wish I started doing this a little bit earlier.
“Instead of just thinking the medication was going to do everything - I needed to speak to someone."
Brian Lake’s interview on Open Mike airs tonight, Wednesday September 25, at 9pm EST on Fox Footy.
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